Caroline Mutoko Comes Out Swinging! Takes Shots At Kahawa Tungulu!

Wednesday, 22 May 2013 12:21 , Written by 

Caroline Mutoko has never been the type to take punches lying down. But her approach to Kahawa Vitungu left me baffled. She chose to be zen about this rumour mongerer!

But it has now become apparent that she is a student of Sun Tzu! She is a student of the art of war! She waited. She reminds me of the Akan proverb, "It may not speak but it breathes!" She took her time and has now decided to take shots at Kahawa Tunga:


“In a world hungry for negative news, gossip and scandal, page views are generated by catering to the lowest common denominator and the lowest, primal need in a human being. 

The need to be vile. In the world of social media and gossip blogs the repugnant need to the

anonymously vile fuels the page views. Enter the world of lies, rumours and malice on your daily gossip blog. If you really want to know what’s behind the nasty tales you droll over daily, follow the money.

Those blogs would not exist without you and because the losers behind them know you are a closet nutcase, they make a living by feeding your need for salacious gossip about people you would never openly admit you envy and are indeed a little jealous of. Being a troll, a bully and a shallow-what-no-not is a drug habit – you’re junkie, he’s the peddler. Tsk, tsk – hold your tongue. I am not done yet.



Have I got your attention now? Good. Take notes. Gossip blogging isn’t about honest amazing stories or freedom of press as one idiot puts it. It’s about filth. What use are real stories anyway?

The truth doesn’t sell as well as lies coated in malice and just a touch of cloak and dagger. But where do they get the fodder you wonder? It’s simple. Gossip bloggers target names that make your heads spin.

Yes, yours. By and large the rumour mongers don’t care much for the people they write about, in-fact they don’t know us or pretend to - but they know that you do.

When I hear people asking of certain gossip bloggers “what’s wrong with him, what’s his problem?” I laugh. It’s not him, it’s you. He knows how petty you are sitting behind your phone, laptop or PC at work.

He knows you are shallow, a closet anarchist, bottom feeder and best of all you are idle and so if his gossip blog can tell nasty stories at least thrice a week and use names like, Jaguar, Octopizzo, Julie Gichuru, Linus Gitahi, Caroline Mutoko, Raila Odinga, Rachel Shebesh, Sonko, Maina Kageni, Mutahi Ngunyi, Mutula Kilonzo et al – he knows by the very nature of who you are, you will click, read and spread.

The more page views he gets the more google ads he gets the more money he gets. He’s the pimp. You’re his whore and you perform on cue.

Wait a minute. Didn’t you know this was about page views and money?

Oh get a grip!

A few months ago the buzz names were Luo, Kikuyu, Raila, Uhuruto, Cord, Jubilee, IEBC and Mutahi Ngunyi. Before that Safaricom, Bob Collymore, Saitoti, NTV, Citizen TV.

Internationally the game is the same – Beyonce, Rihanna, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston… I’m sure you get the drift. The science and method to the madness is the same - write rubbish, coat it with a little circumstantial truth and whip up a feeding frenzy. They only expose our shallowness as a people. It’s gruel and pigs.

The more it stinks the more the pigs gobble it up. I know, the penny just dropped and you’re squirming. It’s okay.

So, to the nonsense that was written about the late Mutula Kilonzo – what a silly tale. What amazes me is not the nerve of the fool that wrote it, and quickly tried to cover his tracks, but the sheer stupidity of those who didn’t simply read the first line and dismiss it as crap.

Say it with me – bottom feeder. It stunk and you were drawn to it, not repulsed.

So am I upset? Yes. What upsets me is that you denied the Kilonzo family a chance to bury the late Senator with minimal fanfare. This family has no illusions of who they are or who he was and they are fine with it. What’s your problem? They know more than you do. What are you trying to show them?

I’m also upset that I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye or even celebrate Mutula. The Mutula Kilonzo I knew was a smart man, a funny man and above all a very nice guy. Certain things will always stand out for me about Mutula.

He was a brilliant legal mind. He stood by what he believed and didn’t give two hoots what anyone thought. If you’re a newbie at Radio Africa you don’t know this – but Mutula stood by this organisation solidly. When the late Mutula became a minister years ago – he and Otieno Kajwang made Kiss 100 their first call and their first stop.

To the entire Mutula family, be well. My thoughts and prayers remain with you. To Mutula Kilonzo – Asa, Tata, Koma. I’ll come to your graveside one of these days and say farewell, but not before I do as you would have done and bury these liars.”

Source: The Star

Kahawa Tungulu, checkmate!

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