10 Signs You Are Too Old To Be In The Club

I am glad i am still a youngster with many clubbing years ahead of me. However, some guys just need to leave the field. At the age of 21 you want to party hard, at the age of 25 you want to go clubbing and have a good time, but at the age of 32, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or as jokers would say, ‘You are stuck between Narok and a hard place’ Your best days are clearly behind you, but something keeps pulling you back into the party scene.

However, it’ll only take a short time for reality to hit you in the face like a ton of bricks telling you that you should probably not be in the club anymore, but at home with your kids. It could be a club fight involving a 20 year old boy and you, then he beats you up. Or missing out on an important meeting the next day because your head is throbbing. Whatever bad thing happens, it’s just nature’s way of letting you know that you probably ignored all the signs that it’s time to hang up your club antics.

How do you know if you have gotten to old for the night life?

1.You only get excited when Rumba music is being played. If you are the type of guy that keeps thinking DJ Joe Mfalme or DJ Hassan is overrated because he doesn’t play Rumba music, you are too old to party. Go to a mid life bar, grab your beer and chill.

2. You’d rather sit down than dance. Your bones have taken a strain. You don wanna hurt them anymore, You’ve had enough trips to your doctor’s office already.

3. You had planned to stay all night, you left at midnight. Many great nights start with elaborate plans to spend most of the night at the club. But then when you are just a few hours in, you start thinking of going back home. Face it man, you’re not able to spend 6-8 consecutive hours hanging out at a noisy place

4. You think young girls are spoilt. In your younger days, girls probably didn’t spend 5 hours bending over and dangling their booties to the sky. You wonder where they even get all that energy. You start talking shit about them, saying that they are devoid of morals. You also think that their clothes are too revealing, Bro…….just go home

5. You have no idea what song is playing even when everybody seems to know it. All the latest hits whizz past you like wind. Ati Fetty Wap? Who the hell is that? You only know Warren G and LL Cool J.

6. Club lights give you seizures. When you have to keep going to the washrooms to rest your eyes and relax a bit, then I am sorry to let you know that you are too old for the club scene.

7. Young girls ask you where you work. When young college girls at the club think you are old enough to be their sugar daddy, then you are too old to be in the club in the first place. If you are the type of guy who gets asked what businesses you own then get bombarded with outpourings of financial problems from the girls you meet at a club, you are a hopeless old man

8. Drink prices shock you.A bottle of Jameson for 5K? You’d rather pay school fees for your kid with that money, What is wrong with the world? You keep asking yourself. You just don’t like how drinks are no longer as cheap as they were back in the 90s. Despite the need to remain in it, club life has become too complex for your liking

9. None of your age mates are willing to tag along for your night plans. When it reaches a point where your friends no longer want to join you on your crazy night plans, then it just shows they have grown up and you have not. Make a change before you alienate all the people that matter

10. You feel cold when you are at the club. Despite all the high energy and sweatiness, you still feel old whenever you go out. That’s a clear sign that you should be at home next to a jiko instead. Your glory days are over and you just have to accept that fact.