5 Things Socialites Should Do To Make Themselves Relevant Again

Socialites are losing relevance. They are falling off hard and fast. Of course no one can or should remain at the top forever. In fact, socialites need us a lot more than we need them these days. This is a good reason to celebrate. But only a mean man doesn’t offer help to a dying horse. And I am not a mean man so let me try rescuing our socialites from their looming demise. Here are five ways they can gain relevance again.

Start promotions

When big companies are facing the potential plummeting of profits, they set up promotions to ignite public excitement. Socialites ought to read from this business script as well and act fast. ‘Vuliwa na Vera’ or ‘Hudumiwa na Huddah Monroe’ would be great phrases for socialite promotions. The more pictures you like the high your chances of shagging.

Do more music videos

A temporary shift in careers would do wonders in catapulting top socialites back to former heights. Think of it, the highlight of Risper Faith’s career was when she appeared in a music video looking like a baobab tree dipped in Lebanese oil. And Vera’s career was built from a music video too. They say ‘never forget where you came from’.

Kiss ass

Someone like Huddah Monroe still behaves like she’s the queen of the hill, top of the heap, a number one. But she’s not. People stopped caring. The esteemed socialites should just kiss the asses of the right people in order to be relevant again. That’s just how it happens in every major showbiz industry . This shouldn’t be a problem to them because they are all disconcertingly incapable of ever keeping their legs closed.

Release sex tapes

The twerk videos and after-sex photos taken while chilling in foreign lands have all become boring and outdated. The Kenyan public wants something new – something nasty. Even though many people wouldn’t say it, that thing we all need is a sex tape. Imagine watching Vera being pounded and moaning like a puppy.

Get married

The marriage fever is currently sweeping our nation. All the top celebrities are getting hitched. Sometimes thots get more famous through marriage. Look at Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose. Zari got married and look where she is at right now. May these socialites just try settling on one ‘D’ for once. Blessings will come

Remember to vote for me for the Facebook Personality Award in the 2015 SOMA Awards by sending the code 16E to 22580 or going to soma.or.ke/vot/