5 Things You Can Do With Bob Collymore’s 9 Million Salary

So Yesterday, Safaricom CEO Bob Collymore declared his wealth. He earns 9 million a month. Now if you were struggling to know the difference between living and existing, you have it. The likes of Collymore are living and the rest of us are merely existing. But it’s cool. We are not complaining. What can you really do with that sum of money though?

Bang 180 socialites in a month

Forget what you’ve had. These socialites will sleep with you for the whole weekend for a fee of 50K or less. Now if you divide 9m by 50K you get 180. Imagine banging 180 big bootied women a month. The only problem is that you can’t find 180 socialites can you? Either way, you can bang the available ones on repeat. Or if you prefer the more expensive options like Vera Sidika, you could do with about 8 of them a month. You can even order them to bark like dogs or cuckle like chicken and they will do just that.

Pay Njoki Chege to shut up

People just don’t know what to do with Njoki Chege. Just when you think she has cooled down, she comes up with another scathing attack on innocent peeps. And she hides like a most wanted terrorist and never appears at public events. She simply coordinates her attacks with her laptop from the comfort of her bedroom or the confines of nation center, With a 9 million salo, you can hire to write about flowers or something less inflammatory. Won’t that be a good thing for mankind?

Buy Octopizzo a hundred more sneakers

I noticed that Octopizzo really likes repeating sneakers. Kwanza zile za red. Don’t get me wrong, the dude has a few really cool sneakers but damn. He’s a rapper for Christ’s sake. Even I am not that rich but I don’t wear a single pair of sneakers more than twice a month. It’s not hard really. All you need is to have a collection of about 15 of them. Shoes make a man and Octopizzo needs shoes. Dear Bob, please donate a few pairs to the guy who collaborated with Alsina’s ghost. I am guessing his size is namba nane

Move into Waiguru’s mansion

Waiguru’s mansion cost 100 million. With the 9 million a month, Collymore apparently makes 109 million a year. I am guessing with all the trouble she’s having, Waiguru will have to move out to cheaper digs, if she hasn’t done so already. Even if she leaves, the house remains of historical significance. There will always be speculation about what might have happened in there. I am talking about the Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky kind of stuff. Or John F Kennedy and Marylin Monroe type of escapades

Fly business class every week

I realized that nowadays people are so obsessed with planes and airports. Instagram is full of annoying hashtags like #ChillingAtJKIA #FlyingManenoz and#LivingTheLife There’s nothing so dope about flying expecially if it’s economy class. Everyone just needs to calm down. I know that flights to Mombasa and Kisumu have become affordable but that is no reason to floss. With Bob Collymore’s salary, you can fly business class every week or even hire a chopper to your convenience then have a real reason to floss as all the Twitter hunnies chase you