ecently, I was going through the newsletter archive of my friend Christian Carter, who as you know, is one of the leading experts in dating advice for women.<\/p>\n
There was one particular issue in which the title literally jumped out at me.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s called, \u201cFive Reasons Men Leave Women They Love\u201d.<\/p>\n
A pretty bold announcement for an article.<\/p>\n
As contradictory as this statement may seem, I know from personal experience that things like this do tend to happen.<\/p>\n
I once left a woman I loved.<\/strong><\/p>\n Why did I do it you ask?<\/p>\n I\u2019ll tell you in a minute, let\u2019s first go through Christian\u2019s five reasons why men leave women they actually love.<\/p>\n But before I do this, let me make something clear beforehand:<\/p>\n The reasons that will be stated in the following are NOT putting the women at fault for the men leaving.<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s almost never one person alone who\u2019s at fault, (there are exceptions).<\/p>\n As I\u2019ve said many times over, a break-up is nobody\u2019s fault \u2013 it\u2019s just an occurrence of incompatibility.<\/p>\n Please keep that in mind while you continue to read.<\/p>\n Christian is referring to the old principle that we all seek pleasure and avoid pain. This is a basic human driving force behind everything we do.<\/p>\n He states that men tend to walk away if there is too much \u201cpain\u201d in the relationship, in forms of arguing and \u201cfreaking out\u201d about things she doesn\u2019t like about him.<\/p>\n This has a huge impact on the decision whether he is willing to put more energy into the preservation of the relationship, or whether he moves on.<\/p>\n My take on this is that it\u2019s not necessarily an exclusive reason for men to break up. Nobody likes to be in a relationship where there\u2019s no healthy communication about problems and frictions.<\/p>\n It doesn\u2019t mean that you have to slug down everything you don\u2019t like about him or her, it just means that you have to develop the skill of communication in a healthy and productive way, (see reason #5).<\/p>\n Christian claims that a man draws conclusions from how a woman acts on the \u201clittle things\u201d to what she would do when the sh** really hits the fan.<\/p>\n This is a tough one, (sounds even a little sexist).<\/p>\n When I read this reason, everything in me screamed, \u201cNO, this isn\u2019t true\u201d. But on second thought, aren\u2019t we all doing this?<\/p>\n Aren\u2019t we \u2013 especially in the beginning of a relationship \u2013 constantly testing and predicting whether he or she is \u201cfuture-proofed\u201d?<\/p>\n And would we split up IF we came to the conclusion that he or she is NOT?<\/p>\n I leave that question in the room\u2026 you\u2019ll soon know why.<\/p>\n Ok, this is a big one. And a stereotype as well.<\/p>\n Do men leave women who they no longer find attractive even if they love them?<\/strong><\/p>\n Before I tell you what Christian thinks, let me tell you what my opinion on this one is.<\/p>\n I\u2019m going to phrase this blatantly: I think that only \u201cbad men material\u201d leave a woman whom he is no longer attracted to, given the relationship is promising and there are feelings involved, (i.e. it\u2019s not just a \u201cphysical\u201d thing by mutual consent).<\/p>\n \u201cGood men\u201d will work out their own issues, (yes, losing attraction to his wife\/girlfriend might be the man\u2019s own fault), they will take all measures necessary to re-kindle that spark of attraction.<\/p>\n But Christian rightly isn\u2019t exclusively talking about sexual attraction, he also says that:<\/p>\n I think that this is a very solid point. The feeling of connection with your partner is of utmost importance and if you lose it, then you are in trouble.<\/p>\n Christian continues by claiming that the main mistake women make in this situation is to try to re-establish connection by \u201cfixing things\u201d, by talking about it or \u201cworking on the relationship\u201d.<\/p>\n A man wants to DO things together to know his relationship is working, (not talk).<\/strong><\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t agree more on this. This is one of the main differences between men and women when they try to fix a relationship.<\/p>\n My tip for you is to set \u201cmemory beacons\u201d for your relationship by \u201cexperiencing\u201d together. By experiences, I mean things you do together, challenges you master together, enjoyments you live through together.<\/p>\n All the things that really connect you.<\/p>\n This is, of course, a classic which is applicable equally to women AND men, (in fact, this has a far more devastating effect to the relationship when men are behaving this way).<\/p>\n IF this relationship is everything to you \u2013 your life\u2019s purpose \u2013 and you have nothing else going on in your life, you are neglecting friends, your work, your hobbies, all the things that define who YOU are\u2026 then you will appear as needy, (or co-dependent).<\/p>\n And neediness in a relationship is one of the biggest turn-offs ever to men AND women.<\/p>\n After your break-up, were you wondering where all your friends went that you used to have plenty of contact with? Are you wondering why all the things that used to give you pleasure don\u2019t anymore? Are you wondering who you became?<\/p>\n The reason for all of these questions is that you lost yourself\u00a0during the relationship.<\/p>\n I have to admit that this one got me thinking.<\/p>\n Christian writes that despite the common misconception that people can\u2019t really change, men CAN change for a woman, but they have to do it out of self-interest.<\/p>\n A man needs his OWN reasons to change.<\/strong><\/p>\n So according to Christian, a woman can take advantage of that fact by understanding HIS personal reasons for doing the work for a better relationship.<\/p>\n What most women are doing wrong is that they are trying to make the man understand how it affects HER, not HIM.<\/p>\n Christian suggests that you work WITH your man, instead of against him.<\/p>\n He concludes by writing that one of the most important things is creating that emotional experience with a man. Because if a man is deeply committed to you and the relationship, every \u201cissue\u201d you might have are just bumps on the road\u2026 they cannot hurt you.<\/p>\n But if there is no commitment from his side, then every little problem is going to leave him \u201cirritated, frustrated, and Source:\u00a0https:\/\/lovesagame.com\/5-reasons-men-break-up-with-women-they-love\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" ecently, I was going through the newsletter archive of my friend Christian Carter, who as you know, is one of the leading experts in dating advice for women. There was one particular issue in which the title literally jumped out at me. It\u2019s called, \u201cFive Reasons Men Leave Women They Love\u201d. A pretty bold announcement […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6036,"featured_media":50847,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[30877],"class_list":["post-50838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-relationship-goals"],"yoast_head":"\nReason #1: The \u201cPleasure Principle\u201d<\/h3>\n
Reason #2: Emotional Experience And The Future<\/h3>\n
Reason #3: Lost Feelings Of Attraction<\/h3>\n
Reason #4: The \u201cNeediness\u201d of Codependence<\/h3>\n
Reason #5: \u201cShe\u2019s Trying To Fix Me\u2026\u201d<\/h3>\n
\nhave him wanting to blame you and withdraw\u201d.<\/p>\n