Marriage, they say is a life long journey. For this reason, some people believe one needs to take time, plan for it and and not rush into it. Others also have a counter believe that no one can really plan for marriage. These people are certain that marriage is more of a school, you need to get in it to know more about it.<\/p>\n
Since all hands are not equal, people enter into marriage for divers reasons. Popular Facebook user, David Papa Bondze-Mbir, who describes himself as a good listener but not a relationship expert decided to once again find out the reason(s) why people marry and as usual, some of the reasons.., well, only God can judge. But no matter how they may sound, these are people’s reasons and you need to read them for yourself.<\/p>\n
*\u201cI agreed to marry my husband because he made me believe he could take very good care of me. And I needed just that: A man who could take care of me. I don\u2019t love him. My child is not even his and he doesn\u2019t know. So far as we are taken care of, I\u2019m cool!\u201d \u2013 From A.D<\/p>\n
I needed to understand the underlying reasons why most men and women choose to get married. Here are a compiled few of the responses given me this week:<\/p>\n
\u201cI married my Ex to get away from, and under my dad\u2019s control. He was dominant and controlled every aspect of my life.\u201d \u2013 From B.K<\/p>\n
\u201cHello Dave,<\/p>\n
I am divorced, and I don\u2019t know whether I qualify for the survey or not? My ex-wife and I used to be very happy in a relationship. Then I got her pregnant. She was scared of abortion. I wasn\u2019t sure about the idea of abortion \u2013 so we concluded on marriage. We got excited about the whole idea of \u2018family\u2019 and were looking forward to it. I did love her, to be frank, and we wanted the marriage to stand the test of time. We divorced after the 10th year.<\/p>\n
Pregnancy should not be the reason to settle. A baby wouldn\u2019t make any marriage work. Marriage has nothing to do with an unplanned pregnancy\/baby. Support the child, be the best dad or mother or parents to that child. It\u2019s okay to be guardians to your ward out of wedlock.\u201d \u2013 From P.M<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was the first man I had sex with. That meant a lot to me, and I wanted it to mean something to him too. I stayed with only him because I wanted him to be the only man I\u2019d sleep with. He\u2019s the only man I\u2019ve been with, but he\u2019s having affairs. Marriage is overrated.\u201d \u2013 From I.N<\/p>\n
\u201cHello Dave,<\/p>\n
I\u2019d love to participate in your survey. If you would want us to be very honest with our responses, then I would say, I did not marry my wife because I \u2018loved\u2019 her. My mother always told us, \u2018Loving a person can be learnt\u2019, so at the back of my mind, I knew I could learn to love a wife at a point in my life. My wife is very calm and religious. She doesn\u2019t cause me any trouble, and I needed that kind of woman in my life\u2026 Because I am a handful of work myself.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m very wild, promiscuous to a degree. I wanted a woman who was my direct opposite in character, so my kids could at least, have a balanced gene. I wanted a woman who also had the heart to forgive, because she has a lot of forgiveness\u2019s to forgive me should my cup run over. We\u2019ve been married for close to Seven (7) years, and it\u2019s been good. I hope to change to someday, commit wholly to my wife. She\u2019s a great woman, wife, and mother to my kids. Everyone loves her, and I like it like that.<\/p>\n
I have learnt to love her, even fallen in love with her. And, I am doing everything possible not to disrespect her at home, because I am already doing that outside of our marriage. I hope to change for the better though.\u201d \u2013 From A.A.S<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t seem to think of a reason. Seriously, I do not know why I married her. Lol!\u201d \u2013 From W.Y<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m turned on by a certain kind of body. My wife has that, and I wanted to wake up next to that content all my life. I don\u2019t love her. I just love the body. It excites me. So much I am doing with the whole package in my bedroom. The love of my life is another woman. She\u2019s beautiful and keeps me in my right senses. These are the two women I am dealing with currently. They both present different recipes to the meal. I am very nourished and balanced.\u201d \u2013 From G.C<\/p>\n
\u201cShe makes me forget all my troubles with her jokes. I\u2019m easily depressed and she\u2019s been the only antidote to my depression. I weighed the options of marrying for love or for a cure to my depression: And I chose the medicine to my problems. We\u2019ve been married for 14 years, we have three beautiful kids and though we are not in love \u2013 we are doing very great. I don\u2019t see the reason to cheat on a woman I respect and like to have around me.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m very shy, so the mere mention of sex is even an issue for me, though I love sex a lot. My wife know me like the back of her palm. Anytime she reads my horny mood, she\u2019d just shout, \u201cCharley, make we f**k eh?\u201d And then I would rush for it. Our sex life is great. We have sex four times a week or so, and I could go as many rounds in a day.<\/p>\n
The family is together. Faithfulness is a choice, Dave. We’re not in love, yet married with the understanding of each other\u2019s needs. We talk about everything, and we are not bothered we don\u2019t tell each other \u2018I love you\u2019. We are just cool. Why we seem to be clicking and doing better without the element of \u2018Falling in Love\u2019, and those marrying for \u2018Love\u2019 rather are cheating on their spouses, baffles me.\u201d \u2013 From S.Q<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to marry a rich man. I did not care about his age or marital status: He just had to be rich. So, I programmed my mind to be any rich man\u2019s second or third wife. I wasn\u2019t interested in being a first wife and I was not interested in the whole love theories.Besides, I was young, and still young in my mid-30s.<\/p>\n
I have been married for some time now to my ideal husband. I’m a second wife, as desired. I know my husband is seeing other women, but frankly, I am not bothered. I haven\u2019t been and will never be, because I anticipated all these before agreeing to marry him. Rich men attract a lot of baggage. That\u2019s why I am a certain young man\u2019s sugar mummy also, and it\u2019s been an interesting ride. I am living my dream life at the moment. No complains!\u201d \u2013 From G.B<\/p>\n
\u201cPer your request for the survey on why I married my spouse: I married him because I got pregnant whilst we were dating. And I couldn\u2019t handle the situation of being pregnant out of wedlock.\u201d \u2013 From S.K<\/p>\n
\u201cI live in Europe, and have hustled to be where I am today. Moreover, I left Ghana as a young man and I visit as and when. I have kids, and was not looking forward to marriage again. My first wife was a white woman to secure my documents here. After naturalizing, we went our separate ways. The kinds of things I have done to survive here, to get the kind of education I have, hmmm! And so, due to all these experiences, love and marriage hasn\u2019t really been my thing. I\u2019ve slept with married women, I have slept with married and single men, been an escort, and the list goes on and on.<\/p>\n
My mum had been pushing me to settle in a marriage again, so I chose one of those desperate young girls, wanting to date a \u2018borga\u2019, to marry. I have a home in Ghana, and she\u2019s the wife there. She visits me here sometimes. I go to her too. I like her, she makes me laugh sometimes. She wants us to have kids, but I am not sure I want any more at my age. I don\u2019t trust her 100% because she was sleeping with me when I used to visit Ghana, as a married man.<\/p>\n
But I like her ambition, and the fact that, she did not give up on me. I love being with men more, but I had to marry her to make my late mother happy.\u201d \u2013 From J.Z<\/p>\n
\u201cI agreed to marry my husband because I loved him so so much, that I couldn\u2019t let go. Besides,\u00a0 I naturally fell in love with him because of his intelligence. I believe my husband is very intelligent, and has proven to me over my 14 years of knowing him that it is true. As far as he continues to stay on top of every game with his head, I can just continue falling in love with him every minute\u201d \u2013 From J.K<\/p>\n
I married my husband because he wasn\u2019t that good looking in my eyes. I doubt if he was any woman\u2019s preference. That was an intentional choice. As you can see, I am very beautiful and used to have all these handsome men coming my way. I dated a number of them, and they were all cheating and lying.<\/p>\n
I had my heart broken over again until I had had enough of them. So I decided to date or marry a man I found to be ugly. Reasons being, an ugly man would hold unto a beautiful woman tightly, because he would know he isn\u2019t deserving of me.<\/p>\n
And, my husband knows he\u2019s hit the jackpot. He used to tell me that all the time. Now, he\u2019s gotten so used to me, he\u2019s started to misbehave. He feels \u2018big\u2019 because he\u2019s making a lot of money today, drives a nice car and has beautiful kids with me. I\u2019m just timing him. One of these days he will know his level.\u201d \u2013 From L.A.S<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t believe in love. I believe in cash. Money I can see, touch and trust. Love is a spirit. I don\u2019t trust any spirit hovering around me, so I married for the money. Women, we\u2019ve got to survive. I don\u2019t mind not sharing similar interests with my husband. I am not passionate about him, and it doesn\u2019t bother me the least. He\u2019s not an attractive man to me, though handsome to the girls he is sleeping with. I got what I wanted and it\u2019s an achievement. Whenever I feel very secure in my finances, I will take the walk out of this marriage with my children.\u201d \u2013 From J.B<\/p>\n
\u201cHe loves God, and is very \u2018Ogyatious\u2019 for the things of The Lord. He\u2019s spiritually tough and mature too. When he speaks, he speaks the mind of God. I am physically NOT attracted to my husband. He is not my \u2018type\u2019, but because of his heart for God, I considered agreeing to marriage: With the hope that, he wouldn\u2019t be like the cheating breed of men out there. Sometimes, I look at him from head to toe, and I can\u2019t help but giggle.<\/p>\n
I get surprised at myself too, for marrying such a human. Lol! But on a more serious note, I am very worried for myself because it seems like I have met my \u2018metre\u2019. I have been open to the man I think I am truly connected to. He is a guy our firm did transactions with. Dave, please I will need all the spiritual help all the saints following your platform can offer\u2026 Because this girl is on fire anytime I set my eyes on that dude. I think I will fail this test this year.\u201d \u2013 From B.T.<\/p>\n