Some religions believe that God created marriage for procreation and companionship. It however seems that with each passing generation, the reason for one entering into this life long journey has increased with each individual having his or her own reasons.<\/p>\n
In his quest to find out why some people marry in Ghana, popular Facebook’s David Papa Bondze-Mbir\u00a0 gave his followers the chance to share their reasons for marrying under anonymity.<\/p>\n
A total of 18 Ghanaian men and women took their time to share their reasons. Some of the reasons as usual will surely make one ask if there’s anything like true love anymore.<\/p>\n
The TRUTH is, we all lie. We all keep certain \u2018dark\u2018 things unshared. And the reason you might be holding on to that whatever-it-is, is of no surprise to me. They may range from innocent to sinister, but you are holding on to something only known to you. That\u2019s why I made a request on Facebook this week, asking you all to willingly, volunteer with the SECRETS you think you are keeping from your significant other. I was talking about the little black and white lies we all keep to ourselves, to the more rather weighty secrets that we do not feel the need to be wholly honest with our partners\/spouses. That peculiar information you are holding on to, so tight, but is barely surviving and struggling to be detached from what you know to be the truth and what is not\u2026<\/p>\n
That secret is what you\u2019re about to read right now. I\u2019d want to use this opportunity to appreciate all 18 volunteers. I\u2019m grateful. -DBM<\/p>\n
#Secrets<\/p>\n
June, 15th, 2016<\/p>\n
\u201cI have a secret. We were seven guys back then, highly professional, yet very dangerous. We could be naughty as and when we wanted to, and a lot of the time we were dirty. We changed women like \u2026 Lol! It wasn\u2019t a pretty behavior but we liked it.\r\n\r\nWe could say the right things that these ladies wanted to hear, and they would always mistaken that for us speaking from our hearts. Lol! We learnt in our squad how to smooth-talk into a woman\u2019s heart, and then after we\u2019d gotten what we aimed at, crush their feelings and then, break it off eventually. We were all \u2018talk\u2019 and no action.\r\n\r\nMy wife was one of such targets. She was playing \u2018hard-to-get\u2019. She worked with one of my guys and had told us one time \u2013 when we had offered her a ride home, that \u2018she would never accept a lift from foolish boys like us\u2019. Lol! I remember very well what she said that day, and how rough she pronounced the \u2018foolish\u2019 word.\r\n\r\nIt was funny to me. I liked to pursue \u2018challenges\u2019 like her. I told my friends that evening, \u2018I was going to pursue her, marry her, have a kid with her, and then, dump her\u2019. That was the punishment I was ready to give her for calling us, \u201cfoolish\u201d.\r\n\r\nI got every information I needed from her colleague, and I played my cards very well. She fell into my trap. We would be be married for eight years this year, and Dave, I still haven\u2019t found the courage to divorce her.\r\n\r\nLol! Until, June, 15th, 2016, when I fell very ill, I would never have believed I could fall in love. Lol! I\u2019ve never told my wife that \u2018I love you\u2019 before, because I did not love her.\r\n\r\nI did not know what love was. A prayer she prayed for me on the 15th of June, 2016, the sacrifices she made for me until I healed, I could not understand. I still do not understand, Dave.\r\n\r\nI\u2019ve fallen in love for the first time in my life, and that was in 2016. I don\u2019t know how to express my inner feelings for her. I wish I could tell her that I love her, because I really do.\u201d \u2013 From RD\r\n\r\nWay Maker\u2026 Miracle Worker\r\n\r\n\u201cHey Dave. Good work you\u2019re doing on Facebook. I also love your website and its cleanness. Keep it up boss. I have something to share: My husband does not believe in God. He doesn\u2019t trust any word from the Bible.\r\n\r\nHe doesn\u2019t believe in miracles. Babe thinks everything that happens to us in this life is purely luck or just by coincidence; good planning and the right opportunities opens doors for us. That has always been his philosophy.\r\n\r\nI am a born again Christian, from a very religious background, so being equally yoked with this unbeliever was a big problem for the family. You\u2019d be surprised to know my reason for accepting his marriage proposal\u2026\r\n\r\nHe made me laugh! That was my only reason to want to marry him. I liked him, but it wasn\u2019t the \u2018love\u2019 likeness to inspire marriage. \r\n\r\nThe mere thought that he could make me laugh till I couldn\u2019t remember my own name made me want to spend eternity with him. He was my comic relief.\r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve been married for 17 years now. Yes, it\u2019s been that long. And we are blessed with a son. He is five years old. Dave, we were doing just fine even though we were hoping for a child.\r\n\r\nWe had tried almost everything possible to get pregnant, but it wasn\u2019t happening for us. We gave up eventually. In fact, I gave up first.\r\n\r\nIt wasn\u2019t like I was even taking seeds to miscarriage at a point \u2013 to console myself of not being \u2018barren\u2019. I wasn\u2019t getting pregnant at all. And I had no past record of pregnancy or abortion to my name. It was tough for me, but my husband didn\u2019t care.\r\n\r\nHe did not let it bother him. He loved me, and that was all that was important to him.\r\n\r\nUntil I put to bed this baby boy of ours, I never would have known the greatest joys in life. I used to think loving a man who made me laugh was the best thing ever to happen to me.\r\n\r\nBut no! Being a parent changed all that. The birth of our son brought this pulsating life and sensation to our marriage, and somehow, exposed a much profounder capacity for love than we could ever think possible.\r\n\r\nWe wanted so much to protect this little boy and love him unconditionally, because he made us feel so vulnerable to some extent.\r\n\r\nBut all that became impossible for us when he turned three years old. A sudden sorrow countered the joy.\r\n\r\nWe were hurt, and almost grieved his loss. We were left heartbroken and hopeless. He\u2019d get tired and pale for no reason. And then there was that fever that wouldn\u2019t shake. The bruises on his body, and the constant sweating and crying, etc.\r\n\r\nCancer of the blood!\r\n\r\nMy husband cried many nights. We had no real savings for eventualities as these. His salary wasn\u2019t enough for the two of us. I wasn\u2019t bringing in much either from the salary I was earning then. And to think of the cost involved when it comes to leukemia, we couldn\u2019t have believed in the possibility of a miracle.\r\n\r\nBut there was a miracle!\r\n\r\nA client from London, that I had helped navigate a deal, heard about my son\u2019s condition, and just made a donation of $45,000 towards his treatment in the UK. Everything, paid for. I believe in God, so I did not find it to be entirely strange.\r\n\r\nI was praying for our sick child daily, while my husband was busy figuring out which banks to go for a loan. So when this news got to me, I arranged a surprise for my husband. I got a few trusted bank authorities to aid in wiring the money into his account.\r\n\r\nOur son is feeling better today, and my husband is still battling with how all that cash could hit his account without clearly putting a name to its source. \r\n\r\nThis experience has humbled him. He attends Church with us, anytime our son insists he goes with us.\r\n\r\nHe has learnt how to pray, because a lot of the time, our son prefers him praying for him. He\u2019s reading the Bible daily, and seeking better understanding of the scriptures online, because our son likes it when he presents the Bible stories to him from his \u2018daddy\u2019s\u2019 perspective.\r\n\r\nEach day with our little Angel is more than enough. Dave, a second with that boy is all one needs to keep hope alive. The cancer afforded us little control.\r\n\r\nHowever, being present with him, through it all proved to be what our family needed to survive. And we survived, and are surviving.\r\n\r\nI will never disclose the source of that money to my husband. This secret, I\u2019m willing to take to the grave.\u201d \u2013 From IH\r\n\r\nTricked (By Makeup)\r\n\r\n\u201cHi Dave. My secret is my wife is not beautiful to me without makeups. I didn\u2019t know all this then. I was moved by what I saw and chased after it. Waking up next to her in the mornings isn\u2019t inspiring. She\u2019s not \u2018Ugly\u2019. Just not the type I would have settled down with. I like beautiful things. I\u2019m moved by what I see.\r\n\r\nNow that I\u2019ve seen the real her, she\u2019s not pleasing to me \u2013 even with her makeups on. I\u2019m just tolerating her for the kids\u2019 sake. I think I made a big mistake. I am not happy with my choice of a wife.\u201d \u2013 From KK\r\n\r\nWho say Power no dey?\r\n\r\n\u201cI never believed in Juju until I \u2018worked\u2019 it on my husband. He\u2019s very handsome, and every lady\u2019s choice of a man. So many eyes were on him and he was \u2018feeling himself\u2019 too much. It got to a time he did not mind if I did not check on him.\r\n\r\nHe had too many admirers and options, I took offense. So a friend introduced me to this man who assured me of a permanent solution. I applied some stuffs he gave \u2013 on me before sex, and then the next day, he was all over me and contemplating on starting a family together with me. He changed totally.\r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve been married with kids, and I think I am very happy. I don\u2019t know what happened or how all of that happened, but it happened to me. He\u2019s a happy, married, family man now. Very hardworking too.\u201d \u2013 From CM\r\n\r\nCalculated Steps\r\n\r\n\u201cHello Dave, how are you? I also have a secret. I'm friends with one of the friends of my husband\u2019s ex. I do not know the Ex, but had heard a lot of the complaints she used to make about my husband to our mutual friend. My husband is a very nice guy, has a stable career, and is financially secure.\r\n\r\nAbove all, Dave, he is very good looking to me. His ex knew all these yet was not pleased with him. She was not content with their sex life. My sex life with my husband sucks. I fake pleasure with him all the time. I do that to make him feel happy, but he is not your go-to man for great sex and crazy orgasms.\r\n\r\nAside that, he is cool. So while my husband\u2019s ex was having an affair, I had gathered so much information about him through our mutual friend, and had positioned myself at the very place we met. I knew he was going to be there, but to him, we had accidentally met.\r\n\r\nI wanted marriage. I wanted kids. I wanted to start a family, so I had to do everything possible to channel his attention on\/to me. And, he started liking me to that effect. He\u2019s happy he has a pretty wife.\r\n\r\nI am happy I got what I wanted. And about my sex life, I have an old mate who keeps my \u2018G-Spot\u2019 banging to climax. He\u2019s married so it\u2019s a \u2018no strings attached\u2019 kind of affair. I am happy actually. Ladies just have to be strategic in planning for their exact future.\u201d \u2013 From AB\r\n\r\nIt\u2019s a family thing\r\n\r\n\u201cI was having an affair with my husband\u2019s brother who is married. I got pregnant for him but couldn\u2019t tell him. I wanted to keep it in their bloodline, so I gave it to his brother. My husband married me because he bought into the \u2018our pregnancy\u2019 news.\r\n\r\nHe did not know I knew his brother. Neither did his brother know about my associations with his brother. My brother-in-law is not happy about our marriage, but who cares? We are all family now.\r\n\r\nFamily is all that matters. My only concern is, my child\u2019s father suspects that\u2019s his baby, though we\u2019ve not talked about it extensively, because I am not allowing that conversation to take place.\u201d \u2013 From NE\r\n\r\nSmfh!\r\n\r\n\u201cI\u2019m just playing on his vulnerabilities. He\u2019s too damn f**king emotional. And he loves me too much for my liking. Smfh!\u201d \u2013 From ZD\r\n\r\nUntil further notice\r\n\r\n\u201cDave, sup? I like this your new survey because I am also carrying a secret. I am not happy in my marriage. My wife is all into me and the family. She\u2019s a wonderful woman that any man would keep for a wife. She\u2019s an excellent mother to our kids, great in-law to my family, cool friend to my friends, and all that.\r\n\r\nWe are cool as a couple but I am not into her nor the marriage. I am unable to bring this conversation to the table to be dealt with, because I fear hurting her feelings. She\u2019s too good to be left hanging. Also, I do not have any specific reason as to why I am not into our marriage, thus my reason for keeping quiet about stuffs, hoping things could sort itself out. I know nothing of me is into this marriage. I am just enduring and tolerating her until further notice.\u201d \u2013 From KN\r\n\r\nLe Hubs\r\n\r\n\u201cHello David, I would like to contribute to the SECRETS series. I live abroad with hubby and kids. When I met my man, he did not have a thing but he was visionary so I took him like that. He\u2019s loving.\r\n\r\nI respect and love him a lot but there\u2019s something about him: He\u2019s too \u2018extended family\u2019 oriented and his family members have picked up on this \u2013 so they are milking him dry. Consistently, they would call and request for things. Le hubs would know no peace until he\u2019s heeded to the request.\r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve lived abroad for a while but don\u2019t own any properties although we have lands we have acquired. What makes it annoying, my hubby gives to his family secretly sometimes and doesn\u2019t tell me. This family is so greedy it\u2019s unbelievable! Anytime we are in Ghana, they still want us to pay for stuff belonging to them.\r\n\r\nHere\u2019s the secret: I\u2019ve bought a parcel of land, registered it to my name and I\u2019ve started developing it. Let him continue with his folly! He doesn\u2019t believe he\u2019s doing anything wrong.\r\n\r\nIf he comes to his senses and starts contributing, I\u2019ll add his name but for now, I can\u2019t toil for some lazy beggars called \u2018extended family\u2019 to chop!\u201d \u2013 From GI\r\n\r\nMansome\r\n\r\n\u201cHmmm! The secret I am keeping is a secret. My wife is my life wire. And I love her so much. I would never want to separate from her. Our intimate life is okay, but I\u2019m beginning to realize that now because of my sex life with my male partner.\r\n\r\nHaving sex with him is what I believe has built that intimacy between my wife and I. I know it\u2019s a taboo topic but I\u2019m Bisexual, and my wife does not know. She does not need to know as long as it does not come in-between our family life.\u201d From RA\r\n\r\nI love him\r\n\r\n\u201cThat I love him dearly. But I cannot say to him. That\u2019s my secret.\u201d \u2013 From SLA\r\n\r\nPreset \u2026\r\n\r\n\u201cMy grandma shared a family secret with me before I got married, and that\u2019s what I\u2019ve been applying since. My husband does not cheat on me. Whenever I am done preparing his favorite food, I place his food in-between my thighs for the vapor to warm my vagina.\r\n\r\nI say whatever I want to say when I feel the warmth of the heat inside me, while thinking of him. And I have access to his phone, computer, email address, all social media accounts and bank accounts.\r\n\r\nI practically know his every move. Because he calls or texts it to me. I\u2019ve asked him not to be reporting his whereabouts to me, but it\u2019s like, he\u2019s been programmed to do so by default.\u201d \u2013 From AS\r\n\r\nPossessing the main thing\r\n\r\n\u201cI\u2019d want to share my secret. We are officers of a Bible believing Church in Ghana. I love my Church and everything about it. And I care about my husband dearly, however, the Church is forcing me to change. I am in my mid-30s, with three kids.\r\n\r\nDave, it has not been easy leaving everything behind to be following my husband to win souls. Since he was called into fulltime ministry, our lives have been spent in one village after the other. Every transfer is outside of the City.\r\n\r\nLooking back, if we had pursued our individual career paths with our educational qualifications, we wouldn\u2019t be suffering as we are right now. I cried when we first got to our second station. The mission house, the car left for us to use, everything was\/is a mess.\r\n\r\nMy concern now is my children, Dave. For how long are they going to live this kind of life as their \u2019normal\u2019? Because I did not go to school for this. This is not the future I dreamed for my kids. This is not the kind of environment I wanted to raise a family.\r\n\r\nAnd you know the painful part of it all? My husband doesn\u2019t care. He calls me a nag whenever I complain about our situation. It\u2019s very unfortunate I\u2019ve had to send in this, but Dave, I\u2019m suffering. All my husband thinks about is our need to possess the Nations.\r\n\r\nHow can he possess the Nations with an unhappy wife? Because I\u2019m very bitter. And he\u2019s acting as if he doesn\u2019t see or hear my concerns.\r\n\r\nI\u2019ve refused him sex for months and this is going to continue until he connects with whoever fixes the transfers to get us into the Cities. All his age mates and colleagues are pastoring in Towns.\r\n\r\nTheir kids attending nice schools and making decent friends. I don\u2019t know who he\u2019s wronged at the head office to get our family punished this way.\r\n\r\nThis wasn\u2019t my calling. It was all his. And until he realizes it, I will be denying him sex. If it\u2019s going to take him having an affair to satisfy his sexual needs, which would automatically get him dismissed from the ministry, or me having one of my own, something would have to give. I\u2019m tired, Dave. I am very tired.\u201d From OF\r\n\r\nFinancial infidelity\r\n\r\n\u201cWe agreed initially on a joint account, but I could not trust her. She had and has not given me any reason not to. I just could not trust anyone with the information of my money, so I kept a secret account where I have much of my earnings banked. The joint account sustains the home alright. A lot of money goes in there too.\r\n\r\nI use the private account for personal satisfaction: Girlfriends and another kid I am fathering outside of my marriage. I am not proud of this but such is life.\u201d \u2013 From EQ\r\n\r\nMy mistake\r\n\r\n\u201cI was feeling very depressed and worn-out the day I mistakenly gave the wrong medication to our kid in my wife\u2019s absence. Our baby died. I killed my first daughter. My wife doesn\u2019t know because I made it all look like I\u2019d come to meet her dead. We still grieve her demise. We\u2019re praying for the fruit of the womb again.\u201d \u2013 From EW\r\n\r\nHidden dissent\r\n\r\nREAD:https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/gh\/africa-can-be-the-bread-basket-of-the-world-john-dumelo\/<\/a>\r\n\r\n\u201cI don\u2019t know if it\u2019s a problem with me or I just don\u2019t trust my husband\u2026 because I doubt every word coming out of his mouth. Of course, I am pleasant in his face, smile to his jokes, and perform my wifely duties, be the mother to our children, support the home and all.\r\n\r\nI try! But the moment he leaves the house or is not in my presence, I begin to question his character and deeds and the unknown lifestyle he lives out there.\r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve been married for some time, and I\u2019ve been in doubt of him for as long as I can remember. Even while we exchanged vows, I was in doubt of his love for me. I don\u2019t have proof of his infidelities but I know he isn\u2019t being faithful.\r\n\r\nA lot of the time I resent him but I am not able to show it openly to his face. I am always quiet, and pretending as if nothing bothers me. Dave, he bothers me. I don\u2019t trust him one bit, and I fear I might someday do something and regret later. Sometimes I am tempted to believe he thinks he can read me so well, and that, he knows me like he knows himself.\r\n\r\nI have so much respect for my in-law and the love she showers on my kids. She is the reason I am always on my cool. My mother inspires the cool in me also. But I don\u2019t know for how long I would continue tolerating this pent-up feeling.\u201d \u2013 From GS\r\n\r\nForward ever backwards ever\r\n\r\n\u201cGood evening, Dave. I want this only published under anonymity. The night before my wedding day, I made love with my ex-boyfriend. He is married with kids, but I still love him. I\u2019ve always loved him. I learnt about true love from my experience with him.\r\n\r\nI learnt kindness from his kindness. I show appreciation in life today because he appreciated the very grounds I walked on. It was my choice to end things with him because I needed to start a family of my own. My husband is awesome. I am in love with him, but I\u2019d be lying if I told you I\u2019ve been able to get over my ex. We still keep in touch on phone and I sometimes miss our times together.\r\n\r\nOne of our wedding presents was a brand new car given to my husband, from an unknown giver. There was also a huge sum of money in an envelope from that same person, addressed to me. It was from my ex. My husband does not know.\r\n\r\nAnytime I see him smiling and taking good care of his car, I feel uneasy. I get excited for him for being excited about his car, but I feel something else. Maybe guilt! I love both men, Dave. Sometimes I\u2019d want to wish to be able to keep both. My ex asked me last year whether he could move on to find a new woman, I said, \u2018No!\u2019\r\n\r\nDave, what\u2019s happening to me? Because I can\u2019t let him go. I know for sure I will not sleep with him again while married to my husband, but Dave, why am I unable to allow him to live his life? I cry a lot in the office when I am alone.\r\n\r\nMy husband has begun sensing something being wrong with me, but I cannot open up. That\u2019s my secret: The joy of my husband owning his car and my inability to let the past go just like that.\u201d \u2013 From VL\r\n\r\nIn the silence\r\n\r\nI\u2019ve been HIV+ for the past nine months. I don\u2019t want to destroy our perfectly good marriage by telling my wife the truth, that\u2019s why I\u2019ve been quiet about it. If she finds out, fine. I would own up to my deeds and apologize. If she doesn\u2019t, we live or die together. I\u2019m not on any medications yet, because I don\u2019t want to be unfair to my wife. Keeping this secret is already unfair, but Dave, I can\u2019t bear the consequences of telling her the truth. She doesn\u2019t deserve this tragedy.\u201d \u2013 From TS<\/pre>\nCredit:Ghanaweb<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Some religions believe that God created marriage for procreation and companionship. It however seems that with each passing generation, the reason for one entering into this life long journey has increased with each individual having his or her own reasons. In his quest to find out why some people marry in Ghana, popular Facebook’s David […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6036,"featured_media":60321,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[59679,27157],"class_list":["post-60319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-entertainment","tag-ghanaian-couples","tag-marriage"],"yoast_head":"\n
A MUST READ!\u00a018 Ghanaians Share Their Dark Secrets In Marriage - Ghafla! Ghana<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"secrets in marriage, Ghanaians share their secrets in marriage, David Papa Bondze-Mbir, David Papa Bondze-Mbir facebook, marriage\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/gh\/a-must-read-18-ghanaians-share-their-dark-secrets-in-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A MUST READ!\u00a018 Ghanaians Share Their Dark Secrets In Marriage - Ghafla! 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