{"id":159444,"date":"2021-04-12T14:31:05","date_gmt":"2021-04-12T11:31:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ghafla.com\/ke\/?p=159444"},"modified":"2021-04-12T14:31:05","modified_gmt":"2021-04-12T11:31:05","slug":"amberay-situation-modern-women-co-wives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/amberay-situation-modern-women-co-wives\/","title":{"rendered":"The Amberay situation shows modern women don&#8217;t even know how to be co-wives"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Amberay has made herself a laughing stock even as she has forced her husband&#8217;s hand and made him have to come out and publicly acknowledge her as his second wife and it is rather hilarious to see her bangle being in a polygamous marriage.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #008000\"><a style=\"color: #008000\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/amberay-finance-stop-taking-socialite-advice\/\">Amberay financial times: stop taking advice from socialites<\/a><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>In all fairness, while this piece will focus on Amberay, I have to also acknowledge that Karen Nyamu falls squarely into the group of women who are either so flawed or damaged to even realize that with their single mother status, being a second wife is often as good as the going will get for them.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_141787\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-141787\" style=\"width: 1080px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106719646_921426708284981_7077824799812964013_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-141787\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106719646_921426708284981_7077824799812964013_n.jpg\" alt=\"Amber Ray\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1080\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106719646_921426708284981_7077824799812964013_n.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106719646_921426708284981_7077824799812964013_n-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106719646_921426708284981_7077824799812964013_n-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106719646_921426708284981_7077824799812964013_n-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106719646_921426708284981_7077824799812964013_n-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-141787\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Amberay is not a bastion of intelligence<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>We have now watched as Amberay has not only opened herself and her family to public scrutiny but even her husband, Jamal &#8220;Roho Safi&#8221; and his family and marriage. In essence, she has diminished her value as a caregiver by opening up their children and family <em>domez<\/em> to all of us. And for a high-value man like Jamal, this should be a worrying thing indeed but he is still caught up in their &#8220;new relationship energy&#8221; to open his eyes to this fact.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #008000\"><a style=\"color: #008000\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/why-no-one-take-amberay-opinion-colourism-seriously\/\">Why no one should take Amberay\u2019s opinion on colourism seriously<\/a><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Anyway, back to the matter at hand. African culture allows for polygamous marriages. In most cases this is in the form of polygyny but in few, rare cases, polyandry is accepted. Polygyny is when a man has multiple wives or partners, polyandry is when a woman has multiple men as her husbands.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106493078_577540089571577_6459874389301607445_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-141785\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106493078_577540089571577_6459874389301607445_n.jpg\" alt=\"Amber Ray\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1080\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106493078_577540089571577_6459874389301607445_n.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106493078_577540089571577_6459874389301607445_n-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106493078_577540089571577_6459874389301607445_n-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106493078_577540089571577_6459874389301607445_n-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_106493078_577540089571577_6459874389301607445_n-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>In modern Africa and Kenya, polygamy is frowned upon because it is not Western culture. So we have had women like Amberay who would traditionally have benefited freely from polygamy go begging for the opportunity. Our ancestors had a simple and strong understanding of who we are as human beings. Men will always look to spread their seed. Society and civilisation has tried to control this aspect of male behaviour and failed. Women will always look for the best possible male seed.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #008000\"><a style=\"color: #008000\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/gotta-love-her-guts-why-you-cant-help-but-love-amberay\/\">Gotta love her guts: Why you can\u2019t help but love Amberay<\/a><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Amberay, however, is also the beneficiary of the fact that African society understood that single mothers were often undesirable to eligible bachelors seeking wives. And surviving back then on one&#8217;s own was a near impossibility. That struggle was made worse for women who would have had to face the world on their own as they protect their baby. So as a compromise, our ancestors would often marry single mothers off to older men who have the means to take care of other men&#8217;s offspring, and were willing to do so.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_141783\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-141783\" style=\"width: 1080px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_103946976_171384504356659_1163378482522244781_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-141783\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_103946976_171384504356659_1163378482522244781_n.jpg\" alt=\"Amberay\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1346\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_103946976_171384504356659_1163378482522244781_n.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_103946976_171384504356659_1163378482522244781_n-241x300.jpg 241w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_103946976_171384504356659_1163378482522244781_n-822x1024.jpg 822w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2020\/07\/iam_amberay_103946976_171384504356659_1163378482522244781_n-768x957.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-141783\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Amberay is ruining the beginning opf her stint as a second wife<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Whatever the case may be, in Kenya,, we have seen a rise in the number of women who are willing to take on the mantle of the second wife. But, more often than not, because we banished this practice to <em>kaburi la sahau, <\/em>we have never learnt how to make such marriages work. Not even our Muslim brothers seem to understand how to make such relationships work.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #008000\"><a style=\"color: #008000\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/the-only-2-ways-socialites-like-amberay-and-huddah-can-afford-their-lifestyle\/\">The only 2 ways socialites like Amberay and Huddah can afford their lifestyle<\/a><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Amberay found a man who was willing to overlook the fact that she is not only a single mother but already has one failed marriage and was once a socialite. yet she is still antagonizing Jamal&#8217;s household. She is busy rubbing the fact that she has her new man in the face of everyone, in the process humiliating his wife. That is not how to go about it but then again, Amberay shows strong signs of being a narcissist.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_159212\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-159212\" style=\"width: 750px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/04\/7F8BBB01-839D-448D-96A6-3726AEBF6E00.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-159212 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/04\/7F8BBB01-839D-448D-96A6-3726AEBF6E00.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"750\" height=\"1334\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/04\/7F8BBB01-839D-448D-96A6-3726AEBF6E00.jpeg 750w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/04\/7F8BBB01-839D-448D-96A6-3726AEBF6E00-169x300.jpeg 169w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/04\/7F8BBB01-839D-448D-96A6-3726AEBF6E00-576x1024.jpeg 576w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-159212\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jamal Roho Safi\u2019s family before he took on a second wife<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Rather than thinking about how she can make their blended family work, Amberay is busy parading her man much to the spite of his first wife. Never mind that Jamal has children by her. Never mind the fact that these children are internalizing their mother&#8217;s humiliation. And yet we will one day wonder why the children of the first wife loathe their counterparts from the second wife.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #008000\"><a style=\"color: #008000\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/why-everyone-mocking-amber-ray-is-a-fool-and-a-clown\/\">Why everyone mocking Amber Ray is a fool and a clown<\/a><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Jamal has failed. His attempt at being a polugamist are as inept as one would expect from an ostrich performing brain surgery. But in Amberay I see someone who just relishes the opportunity to cause chaos. She should be making an ally out of her co-wife. Their religion allows this. Instead, she is aggravating an already sore situation.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_158912\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-158912\" style=\"width: 1080px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/03\/C6DE2EB4-8604-419D-9502-648F7F969759.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-158912\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/03\/C6DE2EB4-8604-419D-9502-648F7F969759.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1080\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/03\/C6DE2EB4-8604-419D-9502-648F7F969759.jpeg 1080w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/03\/C6DE2EB4-8604-419D-9502-648F7F969759-300x300.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/03\/C6DE2EB4-8604-419D-9502-648F7F969759-1024x1024.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/03\/C6DE2EB4-8604-419D-9502-648F7F969759-150x150.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2021\/03\/C6DE2EB4-8604-419D-9502-648F7F969759-768x768.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-158912\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Amber Ray introduced to Jamal Roho Safi\u2019s family<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>My prediction? This marriage will not last. Time will tell whether or not I am right. And if I were Amberay&#8217;s relative, I would advise her to seek wisdom from her much older relatives.<\/p>\n<p>For more thought-provoking opinion pieces, <span style=\"color: #008000\"><a style=\"color: #008000\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/author\/ozymandias\/\"><strong>click here<\/strong><\/a><\/span>. And be sure to follow our <span style=\"color: #00ff00\"><a style=\"color: #00ff00\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/ghaflakenya\/\"><strong>Instagram account<\/strong><\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Amberay has made herself a laughing stock even as she has forced her husband&#8217;s hand and made him have to come out and publicly acknowledge her as his second wife and it is rather hilarious to see her bangle being in a polygamous marriage. Amberay financial times: stop taking advice from socialites In all fairness, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6069,"featured_media":154523,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107988],"tags":[66695,135280],"class_list":["post-159444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinions","tag-amberay","tag-karen-nyamu"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Amberay situation: modern women don&#039;t know how to be co-wives<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Amberay has made herself a laughing stock even as she has forced her husband&#039;s hand and made him have to come out and publicly...\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/amberay-situation-modern-women-co-wives\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Amberay situation shows modern women don&#039;t even know how to be co-wives\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Amberay has made herself a laughing stock even as she has forced her husband&#039;s hand and made him have to come out and publicly...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/amberay-situation-modern-women-co-wives\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Ghafla! 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