{"id":184268,"date":"2023-02-13T18:11:04","date_gmt":"2023-02-13T15:11:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ghafla.com\/ke\/?p=184268"},"modified":"2023-02-14T20:39:09","modified_gmt":"2023-02-14T17:39:09","slug":"dilemma-how-do-i-apologize-to-my-parents-for-missing-top-grades","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/ke\/dilemma-how-do-i-apologize-to-my-parents-for-missing-top-grades\/","title":{"rendered":"Dilemma: How do I Apologize to My Parents for Missing Top Grades?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My 14-year-old niece is the firstborn in my brother\u2019s family. She feels immense pressure to excel in academics, due to an overly-achieving family.<\/p>\n<p>Both parents are pursuing doctorates in their respective fields.<\/p>\n<p>Her father is a physician, and her mother has built a solid reputation in law and governance. Both teach part-time at public universities.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019s called Naomi, and has just received her 2022 KCPE results. She missed the elusive \u2018400 mark\u2019 by 45 points.<\/p>\n<p>Man, she is devastated. I\u2019d understand why.<\/p>\n<p>My brother is stern, strict and pushes for excellence in everyone around him. Lots of times at the cost of personal freedom and friendship.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/sponsored\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/16\/2023\/02\/WhatsApp-Image-2023-02-06-at-4.59.51-PM.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3351\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/sponsored\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/16\/2023\/02\/WhatsApp-Image-2023-02-06-at-4.59.51-PM.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1080\" height=\"720\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Burdened with a busy schedule, Naomi\u2019s parents would miss most of her school\u2019s parent-engagement events.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d often be the parent at Naomi\u2019s top-rated private boarding school. It did not come cheap. Often, her father would remind her of <i>\u2018How expensive that school is\u2019<\/i> and, <i>\u2018Set a good example to your brother\u2019.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>The younger brother is in 6th grade &#8211; and cared little if she scored A\u2019s or E\u2019s.<\/p>\n<p>Poor Naomi performed well throughout, but this kind of pressure robbed her of her dream marks at her final exams.<\/p>\n<p>At this point, she was not overly anxious of the kind of high school she\u2019d attend, but struggling under an overwhelming feeling of failing her successful parents.<\/p>\n<p>Worse, her cousin in a derelict, poorly-staffed and equipped day school had beaten her by 20 marks &#8211; at a fraction of the cost!<\/p>\n<p>Naomi had a shocker question for me: <b>How do I apologise to my parents for failing my exams?<\/b><b><i>\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p>I stuttered a little, and thought of three possible answers:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>You Come First<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Please congratulate yourself. You are mature enough to know that a personal failure may affect other people. Like, not attaining a grade may hurt your parents. That\u2019s something.<\/p>\n<p>Apologise to yourself, too &#8211; for messing up your peace of mind.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s all about you, not other people. This is a personal milestone, the first &#8211; and the success of shortcomings do not overly affect other people. Just their expectations of you.<\/p>\n<p>At this point, you come first. Are you happy with the results? Sad or disappointed? The lessons lie in what you feel about the results &#8211; not the actual results. If you gave your best, walk tall and be proud.<\/p>\n<p>If not, there will be new opportunities to make amends.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Failing is Part of The Journey<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It\u2019s ok to fail. We don\u2019t always succeed. Sometime we fail also.<\/p>\n<p>But we should never lose our hope. Failing a test doesn\u2019t mean that you are an idiot and know nothing or haven\u2019t studied anything.<\/p>\n<p>You studied but you still failed in the test only means that your mind couldn\u2019t grab the things easily like the other people. Just a little more hard work and focus than before turns it around.<\/p>\n<p>Failing at something gives you some kind of boost to do much better than before. But some people don\u2019t think like that. We should have positive thoughts regarding things. Then only, we can live this life happily.<\/p>\n<p>You will be fine.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Parent\u2019s Love Can Be Stern-Faced\u00a0<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Your parents are the only people in the entire world who actually want you to be better than they are. They love you unconditionally, no matter how strict they are.<\/p>\n<p>They are concerned about you, and perhaps upset and could mistake a low grade with irresponsibility. Go talk to them.<\/p>\n<p>Face this situation with pride, it&#8217;s your life, you are responsible for it. Even if you struggle because of the results or because of your mistakes, it&#8217;s still you who will suffer, so ultimately the words from your parents should not affect you.<\/p>\n<p>Say: <i>\u201cI failed, not because I didn&#8217;t do enough, or because, what I did wasn&#8217;t enough. It&#8217;s my life&#8217;s failure on one front, I will come back stronger and better.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Show them some commitment to improve, and be better.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/sponsored\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/16\/2023\/02\/WhatsApp-Image-2023-02-06-at-4.51.35-PM.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3342\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ghafla.co.ke\/sponsored\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/16\/2023\/02\/WhatsApp-Image-2023-02-06-at-4.51.35-PM.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"720\" height=\"716\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Now, fellow parents &#8211; listen up.<\/p>\n<p>These situations are not solved with one-off pep talks. Students need constant assurance by deeds and overall commitment to their wellbeing.<\/p>\n<p>One sure way, is timely payment of school fees and upkeep for them besides demanding job schedules.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/campaign.co-opbank.co.ke\/back-to-school\/#how-to\">Co-op Bank avails a convenient way of paying school fees directly into the school\u2019s account through MCo-op Cash, M-Pesa PayBill 400222, or a Co-op Kwa Jirani Agent near you<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My 14-year-old niece is the firstborn in my brother\u2019s family. She feels immense pressure to excel in academics, due to an overly-achieving family. Both parents are pursuing doctorates in their respective fields. Her father is a physician, and her mother has built a solid reputation in law and governance. Both teach part-time at public universities. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6067,"featured_media":184269,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114483],"tags":[112149,116121],"class_list":["post-184268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sponsored-content","tag-co-op-bank-kenya-news","tag-co-op-visa-card-news"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Dilemma: How do I Apologize to My Parents for Missing Top Grades? - Ghafla! 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