I met him on a rainy evening in September. I was returning home from a friend’s and the rain had started while I was on the bus. Shivering and looking for a cover, a red Mercedes honked at me (it’s in my head now). I don’t know what attracted me to him at that moment; his silence after asking for my direction or the finely scented warmth of his car, but all of that led me to collect his number.<\/p>\n
That day was the beginning of our journey, I had never met a perfect man. In three months, my parents knew him. He told me to stop searching for a job and provide for all my needs. He never asked me for sex and denied me when I tried. Everyone told me he was the one I believed.<\/p>\n
“Baby I would like to hand you the key to my heart, will you take it?” he asked, presenting me with a ring. Although, that was all I wanted my first instinct was to run because it couldn’t be real but I blurted out “YES”.\u00a0 In December we had a fairytale wedding and moved to Abuja. He became my dear husband and I became his lovely wife.<\/p>\n
I feel very ill in late June and I knew I was pregnant, so the drawn face of the doctor surprised me. He told me I was pregnant but…..<\/p>\n
His sob woke me up and I realized I was on a hospital bed. I remembered\u00a0what had happened and I started to cry, he joined me and I felt like dying. I had hurt the only person that loved me and put his life in jeopardy. I started to say that am I am sorry, that I never knew, blablaba\u00a0but he shut me up. He started begging for forgiveness instead, he said he was caught deep in love and didn’t know how to come out. He had been H.I.V positive since four years ago……<\/p>\n
This is another raining August evening and I\u00a0have not stepped out of the house for two months except for the hospital. I have not informed my parents about the situation of things. I pray to lose the pregnancy but it doesn’t seem God\u00a0wants to grant me that. I wake up to a monster by my side every day, I want to hurt him and have been figuring out how to achieve that for months now.<\/p>\n
Have been thinking of suicide and murder and I need you all to help me make a decision.<\/p>\n