This is how I’ll make it. No more Faking it.

Picky Picky Ponkie…..

Well, that works perfectly in the art of sharing toys, and polishes infantile cheating, but falls bottom first in soccer prediction. I give up on that.

M-Bet Kenya happens.

Divock Origi in action
Divock Origi in action

I decide to join up. It’s easy. I don’t have a smart phone, but joining up is easy. I just Sms ‘M-BET’ to 79888, and get an instant free bet with a 50 bob deposit. A free bet, I intend to upgrade, though. If I had a smartphone, I would just have logged in via the M-Bet website, or downloaded the safe, faster and secure M-Bet App.

It’s a walk in the park downloading the premium M-Bet App

A bare minimum betting low-limit of just 25 bob appeals to me, plus the best odds in Kenya. That’s realistic. I ain’t breaking no bank. I have pampers to buy. To spice things up, M-Bet is awarding its customers with the official 2019 Harambee Stars jerseys this AFCON season, all you have to do is play 3 tickets today and you could be a winner.

It’s pretty easy to remember the deposit process details, too. The Safaricom or Airtel Money paybill number 298888 rolls off the tongue, and sticks in the mind. I intend to do a lot of deposits. Hell, no. I’ll be doing lots of withdrawals because winning is all I do. And, that easy, too.

So much for Picky Picky Ponkie….

I guess I shall overcome teething problems, and I’ll season out in this art. I shall play the PERFECT 12 Daily Jackpot, pretty simple, too. There is a list of 12 games plus 5 reserve games from different soccer competitions going on at the time – World Cup Women, Euro Cup Under 21, AFCON 2019 Kenya Premier League, EPL, Bundesliga, La Liga etc.

The trick is accurately predicting the outcome of all 12 games. Plus the outcome of the 5 reserve games, selecting 1, X or 2. That means Home Win, Draw or Away win. Well, there’s a puzzle. Why do I need to predict the outcome of the 5 reserve games?

Well, turns out the reserve matches aren’t initially considered, unless a game in the main list is cancelled. Lots of reasons may cause this cancellation – bad weather, for instance. Rowdy fans, we’ve seen this not only in Kenya but worldwide and such interruptions – like invading the pitch.

Things people do for love. Love for ‘Okombe’.

If only one game is cancelled, the first game in the reserve group is considered. If a second game is cancelled, the next team is considered. And so on, in sequence – 3rd, 4th, and 5th. It’s highly improbable to have such many cancellations, but, well, this is a little like having friends.

Ain’t it said its better to have a friend and not need one, than need one and not have one?

The PERFECT 12 jackpot win goes to the winner correctly predicting all the 12 games, but in the event that the gods are taking a nap and I manage 9, 10 or 11 games, I’ll still win huge bonuses. Perhaps, I’ll have to share the gigantic dummy cheque – and with a few others, the prize is equally distributed.

Well, a chauffeured Limo ride. Red carpet treatment. The photo shoot. That’s still a lot to smile about.

My crew is a skeptic lot when I introduced M-Bet to them, and did a mini-panel.

Maish: I don’t have a smartphone, boss.

I say: It’s easy. You can use M-Bet prime USSD, just dial *798# on your kabambe.

Ng’ang’a: My village has little internet coverage.Si kila mtu anaishi mtaani.

Oh, this guy Ng’ang’a runs a kiosk. He often threatens to close it, when we disrespect our debts.

I say: Use the USSD number. Dial *798# – doesn’t need internet. Just normal coverage. Next?

Tonie: Life’s hard, bro. How much money do I need?

I say: M-Bet is pocket-friendly, and has a low minimum figure at just 25/- bob only.Hio ni Samosa tu!

Tonie likes freebies, so I remember to tell of the instant Free Bet with the first 50/- deposit.

Tonie: Really? Niko ndani mbaya. Una load aje hio deposit?

I say: Just go to M-Pesa or Airtel Money M-Bet’s Paybill number is 298888, and on account, fill ‘Deposit’. Itaingia.

Kenya's Victor Wanyama
Kenya’s Victor Wanyama

I take leave from this noisy bunch. I want to Play the Perfect 12 Daily Jackpot.

When, not if, I win The Super Prize, I may buy a ride, perhaps German. I may remember you from our ‘walking’ days and give you a ride. If that happens, don’t go shouting greetings to everyone from the window – I hear that burns more fuel.