Lilian Ng’ang’a- Why I Tried To Deny Being An Author After Public Split With Alfred Mutua

Lilian Ng’ang’a, the former First Lady of Machakos County, has opened up about the emotional hurdles she faced after her high-profile split from former Governor Alfred Mutua. In a candid video shared on Tuesday, May 12, Lilian revealed that she struggled with deep feelings of shame regarding her public identity and her work as an author.

The Interview That Triggered a Revelation

Lilian shared that her internal struggle came to a head last month when she received a request for an interview about her memoir. Her immediate reaction was to deny her own achievements.

“My first reaction was like, ‘I think you have the wrong number.’ I told her, ‘I do not have a book, I mean, I am not an author,'” Lilian recounted.

She explained that this defensive reflex was born out of a desire to distance herself from her past relationship and the “First Lady” title. She feared that continuing to discuss the book would lead the public to believe she was still attached to her old life or seeking relevance through her former partner.

Overcoming the Fear of Public Judgment

A major factor in her silence was the relentless online scrutiny she has faced since the breakup. Lilian admitted that she initially wanted to “move on quietly” to avoid further attacks from social media critics. She felt that by embracing her journey as an author, she was leaving herself vulnerable to claims that she hadn’t moved on.

However, after reflecting on her reaction, she realized that she was inadvertently erasing a significant chapter of her own life.

A New Chapter: The eBook Relaunch

In a defiant move to reclaim her narrative, Lilian announced that she is no longer ashamed of her journey. She is officially bringing her book back into the spotlight, making it available as an eBook on Amazon.

For Lilian, this move is about more than just sales; it is about preservation. She noted that her story serves as a legacy for her children, providing them with a proud and authentic account of her life’s path. By stepping back into her role as an author, Lilian is signaling that she is finally at peace with both her past and her future.