5 Reasons Why I’d Rather ‘Chips Funga’ Vera Sidika Instead Of Huddah Monroe

Fridays are the best chips funga days. If the genie was to ask me today who I’d rather have for a chipo between Vera and Huddah, I’d choose Vee. Nay time, any day, any century. In all honesty, there’s nothing I’d rather do than climb that fake creamy body, grab onto her volumes of weave, and smash her until the sun rises.

I was labeled picky before I could even form coherent sentences. I had a list a mile long of foods I wouldn’t eat as a child, God forbid if there was lack of Blue Bland on my bread. II would cause a domestic fracas. .

And as I became older, this fussiness translated into being very particular about the women I desired.

I understand that Huddah and Vera are both long distance traders for their goodies which makes it immoral for me to even desire either of them, but given a situation of extreme thirst, I’d rather have Vera over Huddah. 

Huddah is likely to say she’s on her periods, then she might refuse to give head too

A few weeks ago, I wrote the article ‘5 Things You Should Do When A Girl Tells You ‘Ninanyesha’ and this resulted in many ladies demanding for my head on a tray. However, all the guys agreed with my sentiments. There’s nothing as disappointing as a girl telling you she’s on her periods when your intentions are clearly to declare ‘sexual warfare’ on her territories. .

Most times when a chic tells you about her ‘weather forecast’ down there, she’s lying. She just doesn’t want to give you Le Cookie.. Huddah looks like the girl who’d tell a guy she has a tornado between her legs after he’s bought her several bottles of Ciroc at a 5-star hotel in the rich coast of Marbella, Spain. She’d probably refuse to give head too. Vera on the hand would do as the master pleases.. But wait…. will I even want head given the number of ninjas she has probably ‘blown’? I’ll let that pass

Vera owns a huge playground

Look here fellas. There are two kinds of men in this world – the fisis and the lions. The fisis eat anything and everything. They consume whatever comes their way. The lions love meat and they need larger playgrounds too. With Vera, you get a larger playground- more thigh, more booty, more boob etc. Hence you’ll be quantitatively and qualitatively sorted. With Huddah, maybe….just maybe, you’ll be qualitatively sorted. So why choose one when you can have both.

I’d have a story to tell

Huddah is a natural beauty. Vera is not. When I wake up next to Vera and all her make-up has been wiped off by the comfy duvets, I know I’ll probably be horrified, but I’ll have a better story to tell. I might come up with a screenplay for a horror movie about Vera’s morning face.

Huddah looks like a screamer, Vera a moaner. I prefer moaners

Screamers in bed are no good. They might make your neighbors hate you and they make you think you are really hitting it like hard like the hammer of Thor yet in truth you are a fumbler in bedroom arts. Moaners on the other hand are genuine. Where am I going with this point? Research has shown that most bitchy women are screamers whereas more humble women are moaners. Huddah is bitchy and Vera is humble and friendly. Simple arithmetic there

Huddah hates Ghafla

In the end, the possibility of me chips fungaing Huddah is close to zero. She hates Ghafla more than Redsan hates removing his durag. I’d have a pretty hard time convincing her that I’m different like 2 Chainz. Why should I bother?