5 Types Of Landlords That Drive Nairobi Residents Insane

Whether you have rented a house in Eastlands or Nairobi’s suburbs there are times you have probably wished you could do an RKO on your landlord or punch them in the throat. My good and immensely successful associate Omondi hates landlords too. He prefers to either sleep in his office at Ngong road or inside his Range Rover Evoque, which he refers to as his Range Rover ‘House’. You might wonder why? Well Omondi ‘amejipanga’ He is from the US and he has built a glittering mansion there. By US I mean United Siaya.

We all know that landlords are always friendly when you first move into your rented home but as time goes by, they make it clear that the only reason they allow you to caress your ‘beby’ in their property is because they need your money.

Here are the 5 most annoying types of landlords

The ever-present landlord

In most cases, he’s the one with a thousand and forty five rules too. Don’t do this….don’t do that…why are you doing this? This is the landlord that figured he doesn’t have to work anymore since he has a way of putting money in his pocket. All he does is sit around waiting for the month to end so that he collects rent. This is likely the guy that inherited the rental houses from his parents and doesn’t understand the struggle at all.

From time to time, you’ll see him taking laps around the plot, inspecting things, staring at tenants with weird eyes, ogling at women or just basking in the sun. His presence is disgusting since as a tenant, you feel like a high school kid who’s being monitored all the time. With this kind of landlord, minor misunderstandings eventually lead to a tenant being banished from the residential plot.

The rent reviewer

This is the greediest landlord you’ll get. He loves raising the rent but when it comes to returning deposit cash to tenants who are moving away, he plays ‘catch me if you can’. He uses the most irrelevant of excuses to revise the rent upwards. He also monitors your progress as a tenant. Whenever he sees that you are getting successful or making progress in life, he pulls a KRA on you.

When you least expect it, you get hit by statements like, “Unajua hii nyumba yako ni kubwa. Pale umoja nyumba kama hii yako ni 10,000 lakini mimi ntaongeza tu 1000. Sitaki kukufinya sana.”. I once had a friend who wouldn’t park his car where he lived because he didn’t want his landlord to know how loaded he was. Eventually he got tired of pretending and moved out.

The MIA Landlord

In most cases, the MIA Landlord is probably a good guy. You see him once in three months. He’s friendly and successful. The problem is that this kind of landlord prefers leaving all the responsibilities to a very annoying agent or caretaker. Since the cat is mostly away, this mouse (caretaker) plays like he owns the field. The agent is quick at giving orders and harrassing tenants.

The one that can’t mind his business

Even if you live in a gated community, this kind of landlord is always a nuisance. He asks too many questions, questions visitors and is interested in matters that don’t concern him. At times, you wonder how the neighbors knew about your personal issues, only to find out that this ‘friendly’ landlord is a community broadcaster. When you aren’t expecting any visitors, you’ll hear a knock on the door. The guy will then welcome himself in, survey your house for a few minutes then leave. At times you’ll hear statements like, “Naona leo mnapika chapati….eeh. Mchunge moshi ya jiko isiharibu ukuta.” Then he adds, “Na msisihahu rent next week.”

The irresponsible landlord

He thinks his tenants are chicken. He probably hasn’t hired someone to sweep the compound or cut the grass. The environment is less appealing but he doesn’t care. Complaints take weeks to be addressed but he’s quick to complain whenever a tenant does something wrong. Security is not so good and most of the services are below admirable standards. He’s the reason you are thinking of getting another place right now. All the best