5 IRRITATING THINGS DJs DO!
So apparently deejays hate it when revellers do certain no-nos that break the DJ-clubgoers code of rules. But to be honest, have you ever gone out to the club and the deejay on deck was so abysmal you couldn’t help but jeer them?
If you have found yourself in such a scenario then you know what i’m talking about! And this small fact got me thinking; what are the most irritating things deejays say or do that pisses all of us off. What are the annoying nuisances deejays; be they club deejays or deejays who make mixtapes for matatus, do that has you plotting to switch their tissue/blotting/cleaning paper with sand paper?
Dishonourable mention:
Not having music
If you are a deejay, your life revolves around music. That means you should have an extensive catalogue of music. So when i request a track by anyone, you should know what i’m talking about. I’m tired of requesting a track and getting blank stares from mediocre and/or lazy deejays. The only blanks i like seeing are blank cheques!
#5. Over scratching
We don’t go out to hear deejays scratch the vinyl (unless it’s a hiphop concert). We go out to dance and have fun. Don’t you just hate it when a deejay keeps scratching a track like no man’s business? And there are also some genres that should not be scratched. If you feel like scratching when playing either Rock or Nigerian music you should scratch your armpits. That is all!
#4. Not letting good songs end
Why oh why would you play a good song for all of a minute? If the song is good and you get response from the crowd let the track play to the end. I do not want to hear half a verse of my favourite club-banger. This is not the time or the place for teasers. Also, I don’t want to hear the beginning intro to a song, get excited and then realise ten songs later that that is all you were going to play of it.
The fitting punishment if you are guilty of this is to be slapped!
#3. Talking as music plays
Let’s get one thing straight, I came out to have a good time with my fam and to enjoy what Nairobi nightlife has to offer. That doesn’t involve hearing you talk over and over again giving me a verbal synopsis of the music. Or shouting inexplainable things like “Po-po-po-po!” over the music. You aren’t Jeff Koinange, we aren’t “on the bench”, and this isn’t a KBC radio commentary of football. So shut up and just do a good job at the decks!
For any midemeanour done from this point, the punishment must be more severe than just a couple slaps!
#2. Singing along
If you aren’t mixing at a Karaoke bar, under no circumstance should you sing along. Keep your shower-voice in the shower. Don’t croak along to the songs as they play! No one wants to hear you practice to audition for TPF!
And the worst offenders when it comes to breaking this rule are reggae deejays. I cannot for the life of me fathom how your audience enjoys hearing you shriek like a banshee over the tracks. It is less painful to commit seppuku than to hear you physically assault the songs playing.
<This will happen to you if you sing along. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.>
#1. Silence in between songs
This one is a cardinal rule I presume that should be taught at the DJ academies: under no circumstance should you ever let the music skip or let there be silence as you queue the next track. There is a reason they hired you; otherwise we would just put CDs/ipods to play all night. NO 5 SECOND SILENCES.
#thatisall
