GHAFLA EXPLORES: 10 Reasons Why Nairobi Is The Worst City For Team Mafisi

Last week, i was under fire as a result of the controversial rhetoric that I had plastered all over my article about Mollis. Hordes of feminists, she-males (men who act like girls in order to please girls) and tiny bloggers whose titles generate more yawns than clicks were calling for my blood. But because the good Lord loves me so much, I am still here.

So I flew to Kisumu to cool off and conduct some clandestine operations as well. While there I realized one thing: Nairobi is the worst city for Team Mafisi. Kisumu women are kind and receptive, so are women in many other African cities. I have been to Dar Es Salaam, Kampala, Kigali, Lagos, Addis Ababa and these cities all offer better opportunities to smash chics than Nairobi.

I have no problem with the Team Mafisi culture. Man must quench Le Thirst. Nairobi’s environment though, is simply not conducive enough for team mafisi activities, Here’s why:

Moshene mingi

Nairobi residents love moshene. You cannot shag quietly and hope that it just remains your business, Bring a clande to your residential plot and Neighbor A will tell Neighbor B that the chic is not your original girlfriend. Then when your main chic shows up, Neighbor B will tell her just because you don’t great them when you cross paths.

Everyone in Nairobi is into everyone else’s business and that makes it hard for team mafisi culture to thrive. No matter how smart you are, you will eventually get caught just because some idle humans broadcasted your bedroom activities

Options……

Even the chic that looks like McDonald mariga probably has at least five guys yearning to smash. If you make just one mistake with a Nairobi girl, you will be rejected

When you are out at a n event or club, your conversation has to be 100% perfect and 100% politically correct. You can’t say anything that can be remotely construed as offensive, weird, or needy. Once I told a girl that I like “feminine women” and not tomboys and she immediately ditched me as if I farted. In Nairobi the best game is to speak like you’re addressing the press. Any word you say will have repercussions.. And god help you if you utter a lame joke! In one case I was talking to a girl for 30 minutes and had kept the conversation tight enough that we were getting to the kissing stage. Then I made a mediocre joke and she said, “Wow that was corny. I should leave now.” This came from a woman who didn’t say one interesting or funny thing to me all night and thought I would be impressed with her “marketing” job. Nairobi women would absolutely never get laid if they were men.

In other cities though, women are more receptive to men. In a city like Dar es Salaam for example, you can tell a girl you love her like tomatoes and she will laugh and pat you cheekily…..hahaa. Try that in Nairobi and you will be served with a perfectly drafted ‘mscheeew’

Girls think they are cooler than they actually are

In Kisumu or Mombasa you have a bunch of chics who think they are important because they are feminine and beautiful. And that’s acceptable. In Nairobi though you have a bunch of chics who think they are cool because… I don’t know why. This is even worse because instead of trying to impress you with their womanly qualities, they try to impress you with strange accents, name-dropping, or commenting on how “busy” they are.

Girls cockblock more than anywhere else in the world

I rarely see a chic in Nairobi rolling solo, Good luck trying to have a ten minute non-interrupted conversation in a bar or club if her friends are nearby. If they don’t physically pull her away from you then what happens is that a rotating gaggle of women will come to “check up” on her, as if you’re on the verge of shagging her in full view of everyone. And that brings me to my sub-point….

You have to be approved by the “mother hen”

Every social circle of Nairobi chics has an over-jealous, over-protective woman who acts as a leader of the pack. She is the one who tells girls where to go and who to talk to. Apparently this is how she gets power in life since she’s unable to exert the upper hand over men due to her unattractive appearance. If the mother hen doesn’t approve of you then you will not get laid. She can snap her fingers and her minions jump to attention so that they are not excluded from the tribe. Therefore not only do you have to build attraction with the girl you like, but you also have to charm the mother hen to give you permission to just continue the interaction. This is unlike other cities where chics role sole and make their own decisions

Attitudes

The few girls who are pretty have princess attitudes because of all the attention they get from the surplus of desperate men. They benefit from a supply/demand issue. The naturally attractive chics have grown up having their asses kissed their whole lives. So sometimes you have to settle for the weave-donning, make-up reliant girls who only get temporarily beautiful when they go out

Status seekers

Women who live in Nairobi gradually become status chasers, obsessed with what you do and if you’re getting a table at the newest dope club.

First conversation starter is always “What do you do?” Nairobi women are very superficial… they are sizing you up to see how you can benefit them and their career

Adoption Of Feminism.

Feminist basically believe that men should be equal to or below them while still expecting the same men to provide. There is a huge feminist movement rising in Nairobi and chips fungaing a feminist is tougher than tackling Lionel Messi. Even if you chips funga her, you can’t just dump her in a non-loyal way, She will seek every opportunity possible to destroy your life. Cities that are highly feminist tend to destroy hope of finding pleasant and feminine women.

You can identify feminist growth by staying on top of news stories where the latest news of a woman beating up a man is heralded as a momentous human rights victory. You must also understand that for cities without feminism, women have high expectations of men to provide and lead. If you are unable to do this, you may have trouble in non-feminist cities.

Total Population.

It’s no accident that “big city mentality” has come to have negative connotations to team mafisi activities. In a highly populous city, girls will be less friendly, more “busy,” and more hypergamous in their attempt to land one of the many hyper-successful men that you have to compete with. Big city means more options for her hence she won’t tolerate anything negative you do even for a second

Big cities also pose logistical problems and are generally soul draining places that take man far away from his ancestral nature.

Sponsor funded women

There are lots of girls in Nairobi who own iPhones and take taxis to and from work. Good luck trying to chipo these girls. They show more negative behavior than girls who own a utilitarian Android phone. If you can’t spend more than 1K on lunch with her, then you’ll have better luck seducing a mboch or shopkeeper

Nairobi is very expensive

Unless you are a top employee in your company, you can’t treat a girl without feeling apinch in your pocket. Food, drinks, taxis, and lodging are all more expensive than in many major cities here in Kenya and around the world. Do you get any additional value for paying more? Nope, you only get attitude-laden women and intolerable weather.