5 Ways Poor Vera Sidika Can Redeem Herself After Being Exposed As A Prostitute

In case you missed it, Vera Sidika was yesterday busted for being a high end prostitute. It appears as if her vanity and greed got the better of her.

But life is so unfair. While the common man was busy making Vera Sidika famous and fapping over her pictures, the rich man was busy giving her org*sms and playing on her derriere like a kid on a bouncing castle. I think we all knew Vera was a prostitute, we just needed proof. And the proof was in the pudding.

So it happened. What can the socialite do to redeem herself now?

Get saved

This is the easiest escape route. Get saved and release a song with Jimmy Gait or Willy Paul and she’ll be good. She could even start her own church and become Archbishop Dr. Vera Magdalene Sidika. Who wouldn’t attend a Vera Sidika church? Even ‘Team Mafisi’ would be inspired to turn to ‘Team Kondoo’. The gospel will be, ‘If Vera did it, we all can. Glory….Glory!!!’ Note that due to her bleached skin, Vera already looks like a ghost, so moving form ‘ghost’ to ‘The Holy Ghost’ shouldn’t be that had right?

Go even harder

If you look at it from a business perspective, what this whole expose’ has done for her is offer her more advertisement for her services. I’m pretty sure her mail is jammed right now and her phone is buzzing endlessly. If demand outweighs supply, she can get co-prostitutes to assist her with the job. Immortality should be the endgame, as it has always been for history’s worst people. Grow an empire Vera

Disappear for a while

Since gleeful haters like me are having a field day pushing an ideological crusade against her perceived shamelessness, Vera could just go ‘chini ya maji’ and let stuff cool off. Walking around with the tag of ‘National Whore’ will not be easy. A perfect option would be to set herself up in a cave in Afghanistan and chill with the Taliban. Through such a tough sabbatical, she’d learn to be smarter and learn strategies of how not to get caught plying your illegal trade.

Switch professions

Perhaps all Vera needs is to lower herself to an acceptable job. According to historical trends, Kenyans forget things easily. If Vera decides to switch to a respectable profession like acting, her fans would still cheer her on. Times are tough girl. I could even hire her as my personal ASS-istant..

Change her face

A huge plastic surgery champion, Vera could change her face so that people wouldn’t recognize her anymore. Just like a fugitive on the loose, she can completely modify her appearance and come up with a new moniker. If it’s possible, she could also revert her skin back to the dark shade that God initially gave her.