I am Not Dating Him… Vanessa Chettle Sets The Records Straight!

Ati nimesikia watu wanasema Tunapush? Traslated loosely as, “I heard them say that we have a thing going on..”, like you are hitting on me and am totally okay with being hit on by you, Vanessa Chettle quips during one of her many nights out at the Gskyee Lounge where she hosts kickass parties every wednesday. 

 If you may have noticed, over the past months she and the Instagram noisemaker, Joe Muchiri of Capital Fm have been spending too much time together and taking a million sporadic selfies while at it. While this may pass as normal to the untrained eye, the experts feel otherwise,we who have been schooled to observe tell-tale signs of boy-girl relationships still think that something was going on! You can’t just spend time with a girl taking selfies without neccesarily getting into her cosy area, kwani you are  her girlfriend too?

Anyway. NOMB … None of My business. 

Yesterday Vanessa trashed allegations that she was dating Joe Muchiri of Capital fm, she found it ridiculous that their “friendship” was misinterpreted for “passionate trysts of a couple deep in  love” Well, There goes  another Friendzoned brother who should probably start reading a little more of Phillip Etemesi   on how to possibly crawl from the friendzone and still look cool. 

Actually it seems to be a “Ninja-zone”  According to Wikipaedia a Ninja is… “A  covert agent or mercenary in feudal Japan. The functions of the ninja included espionage, sabotage, infiltration, and assassination, and open combat in certain situations…” 

There ladies and gentlemen, Meet the New Mercenary,assassin, saboteur- Joe Muchiri who has been contacted by Vanessa Chettle (to do her bidding)

I’m off.