Larry Asego Solicits His Boss To Pay Him Before Elections

Barely a week after convening a meeting with his mischievous neighbours where he addressed the election issue, Larry Asego turns his attention to his boss to bring him up-to-date with the latest state of affairs in politics and requests him to pay them before the elections.

Here’s his letter to him;

Dear Boss. What’s up? Not as in hovering in the air but as in of greetings. We hear Njoro the accountant wants to go to Nyandarua to vote before signing our salos, tell him to stop those ones of bogus. He’s such a dwanzi. A dwanzi is a guy who is not there his all. Not as in absent but as in doesnt know what’s cutting, not as in with a knife but as in wassup. Anyway Feb is the illest month coz you pay us mapema. You are the illest, not as in you are sick but as in you are the top shutter my guy, not top shutter like for the door but like DNG. DNG is an artist who shaved his dreadlocks. You don haffi dread to be rasta by the way.

Anyway Vomiting Joyce aka Vomz is sad bars will close two days before elections. Her busaa joint is closed coz Mama Nyanduse aka MaPlank has gone to Kisii to vote. Kisii is a place where people talk loudly on the phone and threaten girls not to dump them. So we will see if her morning sickness that started at 3pm will resume today or if she stops vomzing. By the way Oxford acceptesVomzing as a word to replace vomiting so they will send us compensation money. Hehehehe we gonna make it rain up in here over there in your office. Not as in pour water but as in get jiggywid it.
Speaking of office, Kama wants to organise a bash in your office after elections to celebrate whoever wins. A bash is a get together where people just show up with their friends without being invited. He has a new squeeze by the way, her name is Magdaline but you can call heMagdalish. Not squeeze as in oranges but as in gachugwa. Gachugwa is a romantic term that means oranges. Not as in on Delmonte but as in of yellow yellow. Not as in of airport taxis but as in a shorty. Not as in heightwise but ngaofliend.

Johnny is also standing in Kibra. Kibra is a place where everybody knows welding. It used to be Kibera until after the debate. Anyway Not standing as in not seated but as in politically. He wants to be Women’s Rep since he has qualifications. He is Mama Yao remember. And he is also illuminati and he has connections, not as in electrician but as in grassroots. Not grassroots as in farmer but he is so on top bad. He says he will be back to work if things bite themselves each other so dont advertise his post. By the way we will not be in next week since we will go to vote and we are voting far far. So incase we dont show up the whole week dont catch feelings. We will be back like Swazneger, he is an alien.

Anyway pay us by today Johhny wants cash to campaign. We love you and your wife. You are the illest. Not as in sick. But if you dont vote then you are the illest that one of sick and we will laugh at you like Maragolis khikhikhikhikhikhi.

Cheers Big Boss. Not big as in you are fat, infact you are my weight mate.