Five Reasons Why Kenyan Celebrities Suck At The Red Carpet. Number 2 Is Absolutely True

I will try to be short and precise because I have realized that the avenues of the interwebs are teeming with grammar nazi’s. A pack that  I will  refer to ignoramuses who need to get a life. They are the idiots who hide behind phones with cracked screens as they make horrible comments on updates they can’t event decrypt. On to the business of the day: Kenyans suck at the red-carpet, they should consider doing other things, like staying at home and watching another horrible edition of  Citizen TV’s Fashion Watch

 1. Kenyans have no idea what a red-carpet is. 

It is okay to have no idea, but the greater sin is to wallow year after year in the same miasma of ignorance. I attend most high events as dictates my honorable job, sometimes I laugh quietly at the lame attempt at what can only pass as a joke to the honorable “red carpet”. I have been to several events where the invites had clearly indicated the dress code, but almost half of the ignoramuses show up in pajamas and odd-looking weaves.Have you ever seen how they do it in the west? Have you seen just how breathtaking our Lupita looks on the red-carpet?  Simple: Follow dress codes, invest in a tuxedo if you are that guy, buy yourself a little black dress or a dinner dress if you are that girl- And most importantly invest in good shoes. They wont leave you like that girl will.

2. Kenyans are too poor and cannot afford red-carpet worthy ensemble.

Far be it from judging  ya’ll, but the fact of the matter is that Kenyans who take to the red-carpet suck. The dresses are mediocre, the suits are substandard  while the shoes are on another level of horrible. I however have to commend a few people who have moved away from the trend of the commoners, the fashion icons who make Kenyan Fashion worthwhile: Franklin Saiyalel (The Kenyan Stylista) Diana Opoti, Lucia Musau, Annabel Anyango, Sharon Mundia, Joy Kendi, Patricia Kihoro and scores others. 

Saiyalel and Diana Opoti at the High Fashion Tea, Zen Gardens. 

 3.Kenyans are not fashion risk takers. 

The horrible fashion challenged Kenyans don’t take risks,they settle down for the mediocre, they fear being called out by the ignoramuses I indicated above, thus, they settle for the basic ensemble for red-carpet events. This is why the Kenyan red carpet events are just like any  other  lackluster arboretum events.  Kenyans are a conservative lot, they get kinky behind closed door as they engage in their voyeuristic fetishes but they chose basic for the show! Damn hypocrites 

Totally Red-Carpet worthy.

4 . Kenyan Celebs have not amounted to much, no international designer wants to endorse them, so they end up opening pathetic clothing-lines downtown. Look at Lupita, big names like Prada, Giorgio Armani and Giambatista Valli  want to be associated with  her. That is the reason you see Lupita stealing the shows in  haute couture, because designers believe in her and she looks the part. 

5. Kenyan Designers are mediocre whilst those that are worth a look charge unusually high prices. 

6. The event organizers have no idea on how to organize red-carpet events. How about a little research into successful red-carpet  events? 

Tip: Invest in looking good if you are a showbiz personality. Get a stylist, learn from the west or take classes. But most importantly, Get a  life.