5 Reasons Why Bro Ocholla Is An Idiot

Yesterday Bro Ocholla almost conquered the whole of the internet the way the legendary medieval general Hannibal almost conquered Rome. The guy accidentally sent a dirty message to a prayer group on Whatsapp instead of sending it to a girl whose identity remains debatable.

Let’s be honest here and admit we’ve all sent a text that we prayed didn’t make it. But despite cursing your phone or computer screen like Sossion in front of TV cameras, your message was still delivered. There are some clever ways to survive this tragic event but Bro Ocholla’s troubleshooting strategies left little to be desired

The guy came out to defend himself saying the message was meant for his wife. Funny thing is that his wife has also backed up his story. However, I smell crap in this whole issue. The message was:

“You seem to love my voice. This voice will whisper asking how you are feeling when you will be having your orgasms at cloud 9”

Uuuum…hold up right there Bro Ocholla. You are an idiot. Yes the guy is an idiot. Here’s why

He’s lying to us

There’s no way that message was meant for his wife largely due to the part where he writes, “You seem to love my voice.”. That sounds like a statement you would only tell a girl that you have met recently not a woman that you’ve known for a long time. That’s a statement you say when you have been promised ‘vitu’ by a random chic. How can his wife ‘seem’ to love his voice? She has already heard it several times. Either she loves it or she doesn’t She can’t ‘seem’ to love it. No no Bro Ocholla. Acha izo.

I think the wife only backed up this claim in order to take the matter of the public domain and solve it domestically. She’s a sensible wife who doesn’t deserve a cheat like Ocholla.

He doesn’t know how to get out of a tricky situation

His immediate response was ‘Wrong message….poleni.”I think that was the reason someone decided to even expose him in the first place. Such a weak way to defend yourself

First we need to accept that unless scientists start mass producing actual time machines, you can’t go back to the future to change your embarrassing Whatsapp message. You can only hope to recover some integrity. Ocholla didn’t even know how to do that

He should have come up with a better response like ‘Imagine a certain lady just sent me that message. Yet she knows I am married. The temptations in this world are real. Let’s pray for her dear brethren.’. Perfect.

He’s careless

Bro Ocholla is quite careless. He obviously got too carried away in the bliss of sex chatting. Usually such horrific accidents are made due to urgency, frustration or super excitement. It’s a quick trigger reaction when you need emotions are killing you. Only armatures make such mistakes. Such are the men who get caught easily. If you are going to play, then play smart. This game isn’t for the careless. People get killed for this kind of stuff.

He’s a Jack of all trades but a master of none

Or better yet, he’s an ‘Ocholla’ of all trades but an expert in neither of them. Pick a struggle bro. You can’t be writing Mills and Boon kind of erotica on Whatsapp while talking about The Holy Ghost at the same time. Both require utmost dedication.

His mistaris are weak

Speaking of ‘cloud 9’,that sounds like something a high school kid would write about in a love letter full of grammatical mistakes. Cloud 9? Really? More so, the guy really hyped his voice you would think he was last year’s winner of ‘The Voice’ or ‘American Idol.’ I listened to his voice while he was explaining himself and it just sounds like that of any other jatelo out there. There’s nothing really unique about it. But maybe I don’t know better. Still, I think there are more intense things to talk about with a woman than ‘Cloud 9’ and voices.