5 Types Groups Of People To Be Found In Any Nairobi Club
In Nairobi, it’s easy to tell the type of people you will meet at the club. It’s like they have been typecast for a role at the club. I’m a man who loves to study humanity and the club is my library. I have fun studying the types of people to be found in any Kenyan club. Have a read and enjoy Uncle Chim Tuna’s food for thought!
#1. Old geezers
The 27-35year olds at the club. This is the lot with newly acquired cars -something rather commendable- and beer bellies. They are loud and belligerent. They want the whole world to acknowledge their new found success… Sorry, they want the lasses to acknowledge their newfound success. This lot never dresses up (their generation grew up thinking going out dressed like a goat herd is ok) and they throw money around.
They should be at home building families but they are often found at the club with silly Nairobi girls who get flush over cash.
#2. Expatriates
This crowd can be divided into 2: The old father Abraham types that are out prowling for ladies of the night. The sleezy type you’ll find in Malindi or top hotels in Nairobi like The Stanley.
And the younger lot which will either be out with their girlfriend who will invariably be the ethnic African girl or a white lass. They generally keep to themselves.
Then their is the lot attracted to skinny girls with big weaves, loud make-up and even louder fake accents.
#3. The high school kid
How can you tell this chap is straight from high school? They think wearing skinny jeans is cool, keep shouting “Swaggie!” and they dance ALL night long. They are fun to watch till they get drunk which they inevitably do. They cannot handle their liquor. This is the sloppy drunk lot either throwing up or passed out by midnight.
#4. The ob
This is the ratchet looking chap who mean mugs everyone. He thinks looking angry is macho and they walk in small tight knit groups… Sort of like hyenas. They always start fights so they can rob or stand at the fringes of a fight to look for an opportunity to steal. They are not to be engaged. Just call the bouncers to deal with them. then again, if you are in a club that let them in, you are clearly doing something wrong!
#5. Lipstick lesbians
This is the ratchet lass and her pal who think kissing is really cool. They kiss rather coyly then look around the club to see whether anyone has noticed them. Or they dance seductively together asthough they are about to rip each others clothes on then pause suddenly and look around the club. The right word for this lot is attention seekers.
Don’t agree with my opinion? Good, let me know on the comment section.
