ADVICE TO NYAMBANE: How To Deal With Two Wives In Future

So Nyambane’s marriage to his second wife Linda Muthama is basically over. How sad I am and how sad he must be too.

I have been a Nyambane fan ever since I was a kid. I never missed an episode of Redykulass. In fact, it was because of that show that I got into many noise makers lists in primary school. I would tell my friends all about it as if they hadn’t watched it themselves.

But that was then, Nowadays Nyambane doesn’t act anymore. Neither is he on radio. He has just been a chilled out boss who lived the Mswati life until recently. His second wife Linda, had an alleged affair with a politician’s son. Despite the misfortune, men such as Nyambane should be lauded for making it official with all their women instead of engaging in clandestine affairs. But then again, if you are to wear two caps at the same time, you better know how to do it right or one will get blown away by the wind. Here’s some advice to Nyambane on how to deal with two wives in future.

Talk to Hon. Mungatana

We all know that Danson Mungatana is the papa don of polygamy. He knows how to keep his women in check. From Mwanaisha Chidzuga, the KTN anchor who oozes delicious Swahili to beauty queen Cecilia Mwangi. The former MP knows how to keep his babes smiling like The Joker. He makes sure they are comfortable even if it means borrowing ‘non-refundable-12 milli from Wetangula. So if Nyambane eeer decides to take the polygamous route again, he should first seek advice from Uncle Dan just to ensure that ‘kitumbua hakiingii mchanga tena’

Be a bedroom mburi ‘plus’

There are two kinds of bedroom mburis. There is the ‘normal bedroom mburi’ and then there’s the ‘bedroom mburi plus’. Wondering what the difference is? A ‘normal bedroom mburi’ is a man who gives his woman just enough satisfaction in bed but a ‘bedroom mburi plus’ is one who makes her feel like she slept with five porn stars in one night. I’m talking about the men who smash so hard forcing the watchman knock in the middle of the night just to check if everything is okay in the house because of the vocal soundtracks being broadcasted from between the sheets.

When you have more than one wife, it’s difficult to love the duo or the whole pack equally. Hence the best way to keep them all happy is using your ‘shuma’ well. Let them know who the boss is.

Usiende mbali na bibi wa pili,,,hata ‘one centimeter away’

Apparently, Nyambane moved to Kisii County after getting a new job as a Director Of Communications, then left Linda in Nairobi. Damn. Hasn’t he heard of team mafisi? And doesn’t he listen to Jaguar’s songs? The laws of Jaguar dictate that you shouldn’t let your bae out of your sight. Of course one centimeter is too close. Let’s say a kilometer. Keep her within your reach, especially if she is being forced to share you. Do not rely on trust because the only genuine trust left is the condom brand