From Alai to Itumbi: Twitter Celebrities Exposed!

My colleague Jeff recently did a piece on the most influential Kenyans on twitter.

And it was quite the informative read which you can find here. But what it didn’t cover is the personality types of most of twitter’s celebrities but don’t worry, i got you covered there.

The Adult
This has to be the one of the few balanced individuals on twitter. They attract people to them because they are a voice of reason in the sea of madness that is twitter.
This individual is witty, sarcastic but uplifting ergo following them comes naturally. @SunnyWords -Sunny Bindhra is a fine example of this.

The Attention Seeker
This individual is usually female but of late, lads have begun adopting the technique to get followers.
Depending on the time of the month, they are either gay, bi or simply confused. They tweet garbage along the lines of “I am horny” or “I am feeling like having…”
This individual is usually as immature as a 4month feotus and they are as batty as bat excrement! They crave attention and seek it any way they can.
This individual is usually a pain to follow and i usually end up unfollowing tweeps who even dare to retweet them. This individual lacks intelligence and reading their tweets induces murderous rage in those of us with a modicum of intelligence.

The Troll
This individual is funny and intelligent but they have a dark sense of humour often bullying less intelligent individuals. They are highly opinionated and woe unto you if you voice a stance different from their’s! This chap is quick with the insults and tweefing is part of their morning exercise routine.This type of twitter celebrity is negative and mistakes negativity for “keeping it real” as Nali put it.

The Groupie
This is the person constantly posting pictures of themselves hanging out with the who-is-who and constantly posing with the celebs duckface. Their claim to fame is partying with the stars.

The Business Man
These are the chaps who are on twitter to do business. They often tweet about whatever business it is they are engaged in and carry out real-time transactions over twitter. These guys are focused on their bottom line and are quick on the uptake -enough to see twitter’s commercial application. Dj Creme is a good example of this and so is Dj Joe Mfalme.

The Politican
Actual politicians posting political rhetoric they are too spineless to actually implement. (I really do not like politicians, Kenya needs leaders, not clowns).

The Jester
These guys are twitter’s class clowns and though they come off as harlequins, these guys are hilarious often seeing the funny side of everything. They offer genuine comic relief with their quirky take on life. And they are as intelligent as an Einstein/Hawkins love child raised by Dave Chappelle would be! Look for Masaku and Crazy Nairobian to get what i mean.

The Creatives
These are the pseudo-creative bunch that by my estimates do more tweeting than art. Don’t get me wrong, there are real creatives on twitter who organise real projects (Etsy Art Party are a positive example of creatives on twitter who came together to do something). The rest just talk about poetry and art and craft without anything to show for all the hot air they were blowing.
@wamathai and @Kkenita are fine examples of real creatives on twitter. Wamathai lifts up unknown talent and Kenita actually walks the talk when it comes to art.

The Social Reformer
By far my best twitter celebrity. They are patriotic to a fault. These guys bleed red, black and green! They love Kenya and have taken to twitter to agitate for change. They fight for the down trodden and they speak without fear. Boniface Mwangi is a shining example of this, and so is Ole Itumbi and believe it or not, Robert Alai.

These are guys doing what they believe is right for the betterment of Kenya as a nation.