HILARIOUS! Larry Asego issues a notice to his neighbors

You thought you had crazy neighbours? Wait till you hear just the half of what Larry Asego has to say to his. Check this out.

Committee Meeting 23th January 2013
Agenda – Banco Beds
Radios
Cate’s balcony Laundry
AOB – Padlock Money

Dear Members it has come to our attention that the noise emanating from door number 16 is a constant disturwhat…disturbance to other plot stayers. This is greatly influenced by the incessant movements that are not giving the bed suprings breathing space. We are all aware that most Banco beds are created for secondary school to catch those students who leave the dorms at night and that’s why they make what make noise. As grown up, we have to move from the Banco brands to more wooden beds which are less noisy. We are not saying Mr. Nyangweso of door number 16 stole his secondary school bed, hapana. But omera bwana we won’t sleep because of your extra-curriculum activities? Onunue Otanda ya bao bwana. Supring ofinyi wewe? Yawa!
Members also noted that Mr. Khamisi of door number 6 left for up country last week. He however left his radio what? On. This was an attempt to hoodwink robbers to thinking he is in. We all have redios omera, ours are even of subwoo-what woofers? Switch off that sanyo thing that doesn’t even have FM bwana. Are you saying we won’t sleep because of that Pastor at night on your karedio? That pastor says things that make us not do things bwana. We have a watchman who we are paying a whooping 1,200bob for security. And on the same note, please stop hanging your batteries out to dry once they are over. Kama omekwisa, nunua durawhat? Duracell. You are a grown up bwana, sasa watoto watafanya nini wewe okisinda biting biting the battery for it to what? To work. This embarassal we don’t what. Don’t want.
Our agenda number thirii is a touchy issue. Miss Kanyonyo, please please that balcony is for rela-what? Relaxing. Members, particularly the women have complained about your laundry attire. As you wash clothes we know it is firii time for you to feel relaxation but please, you will break Anna’s husband’s neck yawa. That pink night dress is sooo ginene yawa. We see thurough yawa. We request you wear these bikers things that women wear, like that one of my wife. You can’t just hang hang clothes almost naked that one of thiring’inyi like that. Onaomisa watu. That pink night dress of yours must stop, and please sew it at the side, it has torn itself a bit. Not that I was looking, but eyes have no what? No curtains ok. In addition, just to add on to that sexy pink ginene, please can you adorn a kijukuu as well.
Well there being only one A.O.B the members brought up the padlock money issue. Just to remind you all that during the new year party, all of you were baying for alcohol like a vampire bays for blowhat? Blood. Remember that you all suggested that instead of buying a padlock we buy more measured alcohol from Mama Boi and we pay with that padlock money. I’m a taken aback, I’m a perplexed and retorted that it is coming up afwhat, afres. Let’s not major on minor issues. I did not eat the padlock money as that rumamongarer mama Okinyo might purwhat, purport. It was a general consensus that we use the padlock money for momentary alcoholic pleasure.
There being no other business, the meeting was adwhat, adjourned. Next meeting will be held on the first of February and the agenda is Peeing in the communal bathroom, campaign tshirts and the new girl on house number 19. Owache mabwana ya watu.
Act before you are acted upon.
Chairman of Kanyonyo committee meeting.