KUCHU KUCHU: Why Wyre And Bahati’s New Song Is More Than Just A Gospel Travesty. It’s A Complete Musical Disaster!

You know things are about to get real ugly-and awkward-when someone, anyone does a song titled ‘KUCHU KUCHU’. The name sounds tawdry. And in fact, in some countries, it’s a slang word for, eeer, homosexuality or gay sex. Time to puke!

Fresh from winning the Groove Award for Best Male Artist for the second time in a row,popular gospel whiner,Bahati, teamed up with Wyre-who teams up with anything and Rabbit King Kaka,another notorious collaborator,to release the shocking jam ‘KUCHU KUCHU’.

Aaaaaand,his fans were NOT impressed. Bahati hyped up the jam-as only he does-preparing his mass for devout followers for what he thought was a game-changer. And then he released the song. And,ummm, things went downhill, pretty fast.

Bahati’s fans were enraged that he had teamed up with Secular artists and was now collaborating with them. They made their feelings known. And they jammed his Facebook page with hundreds of messages of disapproval. Well,the song had already been recorded. What to do!!?

Bahati’s fans couldn’t understand why this young Christian crooner had teamed up with these secular stars,especially King Kaka,whose record of sinful lyrics and Satan-glorifying music is well documented.

Wyre can be forgiven. He sounds like a gospel artists sometimes. Even looks like one anyway. Plus isn’t he so sweet? Awwww! But Rabbit? No way! Bahati’s fans couldn’t understand how their Bible-totting idol was now doing music-making videos-with someone whose past lyrics have been condemned dearly.

But let’s forget the whole ‘gospel artists shouldn’t mix with secular artists’ argument. And focus on this one thing; the song itself.

Starting from the title,the song was doomed to fail even before it left the studio. And fail it is doing.

You need to have smoked some really special sort of Marijuana to concoct a title that disastrous and tasteless to the mouth.

‘KUCHU’ is slang word for HOMOSEXUALITY or gay sex. And then they called it ‘KUCHU KUCHU’. Surely, when the Lord wants to bring you down, he starts from the very top. Good job,Lord.

‘KUCHU KUCHU’ is  a sick tasteless, embarrassing title whose absolute uncreativeness and sheer absurdity deserves an award by itself. An award for the MOST HORRIBLE SONG TITLE OF THE YEAR.

And the Award should probably be a condom. Mounted on a wooden d*ck.

Bahati has a knack for collecting awards anyway. Picking up this one wouldn’t be so out of his court.

Away from the title and off to the song itself,which is so horribly written, you want to smack whoever sang it in the face.

I have a feeling that NONE of these 3 collaborators were even ready for the song. They probably met up at some album launch or something,and because they’ve all been so smitten by each other,decided that they’d milk this mutual lovey-dovey emotions and record a song as an ode to their undying love-and deep admiration-for each other.

The idea to record that song MUST have come from Bahati or Wyre who it has been proved in the past can collaborate with ANYTHING that can talk.

Fail.

The song is really about inspiring the youth (Yawwwwn) and reminding them that they can make it too despite whatever. And such predictable blah blah blah.

Yup! As if such songs EVER changed anyone’s life. Ever!

It starts off with Bahati’s very unpardonable voice. And jarring lyrics. It’s the usual Bahati bullcrap. Nothing new, nothing to look forward to.

Two seconds into a song that SHOULD be encouraging you and pushing you to reach for the sky,Bahati has already started whining. Same old lyrics, same old tone,same old terminologies,same old cacophony. And then we get to Wyre’s part. As if his verse has EVER been anticipated. Ever.

Just like Bahati,Wyre’s flow is the same. Yup, the same flow he used in those ‘Make A Choice’ songs and those Cecile collaborations is the same flow he employed for a 2015 sound. Ninja out here sounding like
2007.

Nothing to look forward to. And then Rabbit,he does try to spit some verses we’ve not heard before. But not verses we’d not spit for ourselves anyway.

The video itself is an eyesore. It lacks NO direction whatsoever. No storyline, nothing! Just some cover shots of dilapidated buildings and mass dumping sites and some random dude pulling a cart. Stuff your mother would shoot too if she had a camera and a free afternoon.

Wyre’s wardrobe is really,utterly off-putting. Whoever told him that desolate people needed to be inspired and encouraged by an apron-clad Wyre was the same guy who came up with the madondo part in Rabbit’s verse. Absolute laziness!

Plus Wyre would do with an urgent haircut. Really! And can also be bought another pair of shades now? It’s been 10 years already, bro!

The song,as it’s about to end (thank God),has a little opening for
Rabbit to murmur some ‘words of encouragement’. Oh, please! As if we are at some GES meeting in Dandora. Words of encouragement DO NOT work on songs! Ask Avril. Who tried the same lame stunt in the Welle Welle remix. And ultimately ruined a whole song!

The song, even before you know it,wraps up. Leaving you worse than you were when it started. Oh Lord of mercy! Who knew a word like KUCHU would put you off so much!??

Time for some straight sex now! I need to expend the negative energy!

Check out this excuse of a song below.

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