This is How to Take a Female Celebrity Home After a Night Out in the Town #Smartika

@So over the weekend I decided to hit the bars, it was a long time coming and I needed to reward myself after all the hard work I had been putting in. Plus I also needed to dance; is it just me or don’t people dance nowadays in the clubs? People just walk in, sit down and order bottles upon bottles of their favourite poison, post the same on instagram and then call it a night. I miss the old days where guys used to spend most of the time in the club dancing and having a good time.

But I digress, Westy was the place and a club with a dance floor was to be on the menu. I chose Ignition along Mpaka road because well, it’s the new fresh joint and well, it has a massive dance floor. Plus with all the instagram posts I see from some of the hottest celebrities I have a crush on, this looks like just the place to get lucky.

So I rock my Jimmy Choo Argyle sneakers, apply some Dior Sauvage, my Omega Bullhead timepiece and the confidence of Raymond Ofula and off I went. I get to the place at around 11 PM to find it already kicking. Guys had started getting a little tipsy and the DJ had already upped the temple with Fetty Wap’s Trap Queen bumping from the speakers. Some guys were already ‘turnt up’ going heavy up on the dance floor.

Feeling fresh and I mean fresher than when Yego broke that record in Javelin, I stride across the club- like I own the place and sit at the counter. By the way a tip fellas, this is just the perfect place spot the ladies. Plus it oozes this form of confidence which is exactly what women want.  I spot a few people I know but one attracts my attention, she’s an upcoming singer who just released a dope track which has been receiving massive airplay.

She looked gorgeous in a sexy Royal Blue Draped dress with matching blue lace up tie peep toes all garnished with just the perfect shade of make up. I walk up to her and guess what, she just had the perfect attitude and she was pretty much open to suggestions. I invite her to my table and order a bottle of whisky and we were on.

After a couple of hours of flirtatious outburst and drunken visits to the dance floor the time had come for us to get out of the place and go to somewhere more private and more exciting. I suggested going back to my crib to check out my dolphin collection *coughs* while sipping on a bottle of cognac I had been sent by a friend who resides in Paris. *again coughs* Of course she was down for it and thus I immediately chucked out my phone in an attempt to call an Uber taxi- dang, my phone was off- the battery had died.

I suggested getting out of the place and scouting for a taxi outside, unfortunately there was none and my night was starting to go downhill in 0.5 seconds. In attempt to go on the other side of Bacchus to get one, we stumble upon an acquaintance of hers- who owns BMW 5 series by the way and apparently he was heading to Nairobi West. That’s where it was surely going down!

He suggested they go together and she agreed much to my disappointment. I couldn’t blame her though. For a woman of her stature, it was not exactly her forte to walk around westlands at 2 AM in the morning. I lost her and I regretted not owning a car; I mean I was so close to nailing it! And just to make sure you don’t suffer my fate, let me introduce you to Smartika by Airtel, your easiest way of cruising around Nairobi while attracting the attention of all the hot ladies. In the next 50 days, they’ll be giving out a car every day amid other prices just for communicating with your friends and family.

All you have to do is achieve the 5x target and you are on your way to owning a brand new Toyota Axio. Look out for the daily SMS Airtel will be sending with the 5x target that is required and then go ahead to ensure you call, text and browse the internet. Once you FIKISHA your 5X target, you will get a Confirmation SMS on target achievement, as well as a complimentary 500% airtime bonus to use across all networks. You can use the 500% airtime bonus to browse, SMS and make calls across all networks.

This also automatically enters you into a draw where you will be automatically entered into the daily draw for a chance to win a Toyota Axio, as well as other daily cash and airtime prizes.

So yes, make sure your weekend counts, smartika Leo!