Month: August 2013

Ciku Muiruri is arguably one of the most prolific radio presenters in the media industry.Often referred to as a obstinate man-hater due to her Busted show  the lady has shown her prowess when it comes to putting pen on paper in her Daily Nation column.

In an interview with True Love Ciku Muiruri shows us why you should not judge a book by its cover.Here is an excerpt from the interview:

“I hate self-righteous people. I never give advice that I wouldn’t take myself, and that is what I would do in such circumstances. I try very hard to remain true to myself. Some people don’t agree with me but for others, it is just what they need.”

When queried about her alleged bad-girl image the saucy star says “If someone avoids me because they think I’m a bad girl then that’s OK. I don’t want to be with them. I want someone to fall in love with me, not my radio image.She then continues. “Well, everything happens for a reason. Ciku is not a ‘bad girl’ but it works for me. People leave me alone; they’re afraid of me. And those who aren’t think I’m crazy. Very few people are acquainted with the real Ciku.”
Ciku then reveals more of herself saying:
“I’m a very, very good friend. I know how to hang tight when things are tough and I require the same of my friends. I am artsy and I don’t compromise when it comes to art. I am not trying to climb the corporate ladder, which is a good thing. I’m the best and worst employee: I will go to the very top to get what I want and will give you 100%, but I will not conform.”

Kenzo has the reputation of being a loverboy. Infact, if I saw him talk to my lass, I would think twice! The lad is a smooth operator. and I am not even tripping!

And with that said, i have noticed that of late he has been dispensing relationship advice that I think is rather sound and I want to share it with you:

  kenzo

Today marks the 50th Anniversary of the legendary “I HAVE A DREAM” speech by the iconic American clergyman & activist Martin Luther King Jr. delivered in Washington in 1963. And just like Martin Luther, resident stirrer, Cabu Gah too has a dream…well, a whole heap of dreams actually.

Here’s his dream;

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,Teacher Wanjiku will finally be a Headteacher…The government will finally recognize her great efforts and even transfer her from a mere Swahili teacher on Churchill Show to the Headmistress on Tahidi High…

I HAVE A DREAM that Ezekiel Kemboi will one day find a good barber…a good kinyozi…A guy who wont shave him jst for the sake of it…An innocent kinyozi who will be honest with him and do justice to his head…A Kinyozi who has Kemboi’s best interests in his heart…

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,Larry Madowo will start READING the news,Not PERFORMING the news…He will finally stop confusing the NTV News Studio with the Carnivore Simba Saloon. He will one day relax,do away with the endless little jokes and laughters and smiles and stories and just read the damn news!

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,the guy who married Julie Gichuru will realize the great injustice he committed against Team Mafisi. He will humble himself,go down to his lucky knees and repent profusely to the Kenya National Association of Team Mafisi.

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,Shix Kapyenga will start matching her speech and accent with the super-sexy dresses and shoes and thighs she exposes on Churchill Raw. She will realize that its a CRIME to look so unbelievably gorgeous and sexy and end up speaking like a drunk makanika on Kirinyaga Road.

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,Brenda Wairimu will start feeding Juliani. And also karanga-ring for him. Its a shame that Juliani is dating such a beauty who wont feed or karanga for him. I am tired of hearing that Juliani ako njaa na hata hawezi karanga!

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,Okiya Omtata will find a real job…A job worth waking up to…A job that does not include being everywhere and anywhere all the time! Doing absolutely nothing! A job that doesnt include filing a thousand lawsuits per minute at the High Court! A real,sweet job!

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,one sweet day,our Animals will walk around our homesteads in peace and confidence without a fear of being raped,molested,kissed,caressed,pecked,tickled,licked,sucked,blow-jobbed or turned on by the human male species!

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,KISS TV will finally realize EXACTLY what it wants in life! And stick to it! For christ’s sake!!

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,DNA and his boys will tell us EXACTLY who the fimbo that is supposed to chapa is chaparing and why. And also tell us when the said fimbo will stop chaparing.

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,Anto Neo Soul will reveal to us his REAL gender. He will finally explain to us exactly why he talks,walks,sings,laughs and looks like a girl. Or should we start calling him Auntie Neo Soul.

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,one sweet day,Eda Atieno,the TUJUANE Diva of last week will realize that there is a difference between Beijing and Bungoma. Yes,Eda will finally discover that having a hairstyle that looks like a neglected cattle-dip and an accent that sounds like an old tractor DOES NOT qualify You to be a diva. Also,she will know that there is a huge DIFFERENCE between Gold-Digging and Digging cassavas.

I HAVE A DREAM,Oh Yes,a dream that one day,GBS Television will stop fooling people and stop calling itself ‘Television’. And probably change its name to GBS SHOPPING CENTRE. Or Kenyatta Market-GBS Branch.

I HAVE A DREAM,A great dream that one day,Atwoli will wake up in a good mood. Just one day. For once.

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,Mohammed Ali will stop re-inventing the swahili language and kindly please stick to the normal Kamusi we ALL used in High School. He will finally apologize to Kenyans and know that Jaramandia and Paruwanja are NOT swahili words. Paruwanja is actually the Japanese word for Underwear.

I HAVE A DREAM! Yes! A dream that one day,Alaine will explain to us why she tells Wyre ‘Nakupenda Pia’ and Yet Wyre himself hasnt told her ‘Nakupenda’ in the first place. You cannot tell someone “Love You too” Before they have told You “I Love You” and with that,I hope Alaine will one day provide an clear explanation.

I HAVE A DREAM that one day,the Ugandan Police will finally tell us who stole Chameleone’s Valu Valu…Because Chameleone has been saying hana Valu Valu for a whole Year now….

And finally,I have a dream that Ruhila Adatia of Kiss Fm will one day STOP rapping the news. And start READING the news. For once. Either that,or start including Hip-Hop instrumentals in her news updates….

I HAVE A DREAM.

Oh Yeeeesss! A DREEEEAAAAM!

The cynicism…

This week the world’s attention shifted for a brief moment from the war in Syria to talk about former Disney Star Miley Cyrus’ sleazy performance at the 2013 Video Music Awards.

We all watched in horror,hands gripping our chests as the adorable Disney star became skanked-out right before our very own eyes.Decked in flesh colored booty shorts the Cant Be Tamed star twerked her way into the hall of shame,tongue out and owning the devil-may care attitude!

Miley’s performance at the VMA’S

Turns out we were not the only ones scandalized by the less than savory performance.The Godfather of Genge had this to say about the infamous exhibition:

“Jana watched a re-run of the VMA’s,what was Miley Cyrus doing honestly! Lakini like Jay said “Somewhere in America Miley Cyrus is still Twerking” Twerk Miley Miley Twerk….(Should have seen Will Smiths family faces *priceless*) and we are all discussing Twerking and Miley and in the Mean Time War is about to break out in Syria….”

Friday is just around the corner and what better way to start the weekend than with the guy that brought you Gie Dem  Marc Brunnel?

The young lad teams up  with the  very talented  Ms Koo to bring you a song that i can say with certainty will be a hit, Come Get Down .

The self declared King of Kenyan Dance Hall was born about two decades ago in Nairobi and is often referred to by his fans as  Marc Brunnel Music Di Trendsetta.Growing up,the young Marc  was exposed to a wide variety of  music his favorite being legends such as Bob Marley, Sanchez, Glen Washington, and Fred McGregor

His break out song was Certified Hustler that gained him recognition as it garnered favorable airplay on both radio and in clubs.The artiste has come a long way since then and the Come Get Down song can prove this.Produced by Dj Lu Senz and Dj Hitch for Just beef music this song is guaranteed to top your playlists.So what are you waiting for? Come Get Down!

{youtube}XnaBIFy1OlE{/youtube}

Just about a month or so ago, Pendo was the talk of the town. Or rather, her alleged tryst with african Pop superstar Davido was. but my oh my thing move on fast! And when the fame monster is gone, it’s gone.

And Davido’s flavour of the month seems to be Vera. Check out some of the things he has been doing like changing his cover picture to include her:

<A scene from the video shoot>

She is vibrant as she is beautiful. She and her co-host Shaffie Weru have been among the most listened to radio presenters for their segment which borders closely with madness and fun (rush hour). She’s Kalekye Mumo.

Judith Mwobobia of True Love Magazine recently spoke to her and she reveals quite a lot about herself. Take a look;

What was her first job?
“My first ‘real job’ after school was in 2001, at Homeboyz Entertainment. I was an administrator. My salary was just Ksh 8,000. I enjoyed it for a while, but I was getting bored. I really wanted the technical side of it. After a year I joined Roughcuts Communications Company where, despite the Ksh 10, 000 pay, I was happy as I got to be trained on sound engineering.”

What did she do to make ends meet with that kind of salary?
She supplemented her income by doing the occasional jingle for advertisements and participating in karaoke nights.
“That gave me an extra Ksh2,000 for essential items. I even cut off my hair to reduce my expenditure!”

How did she get into radio?
“It took me five years of applying for a position to finally get in. And I didn’t get the typical interview. A friend told me that Capital FM was running a competition for aspiring radio presenters. My heart wasn’t really in it since I had tried so many times before, so I just wrote a quick resume and sent it, not expecting much.”

A month later, Kalekye got a call to report to the studio. She was expected to outdo her competitors by wooing listeners on air and the one with the most votes would win a radio training stint and later secure employment. She won.

What was her first day on air like?
“I cringe every time I recall my first day on air. The morning show hosts dared me to call up a certain guy I had met at a wedding the previous weekend. I don’t know why I even told them about it. Maybe it was nerves or the need to impress, but I took up the dare. Luckily it went to voicemail, but I still had to leave a message.

Why did she leave that job?

Four months and a disagreement with management later, Kalekye left, hopeful that she would land another radio job. As luck would have it, she got a call from Kiss 100 FM.

“I finally felt things were coming together. However, the only available slot was as a news anchor. I was eyeing a show, but I was ready to bide my time. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

Her patience paid off. She was soon offered a co-hosting slot on the popular afternoon show Rush Hour. In addition, she now hosts the Saturday Countdown show.

[True Love]

Wear.

Young,talented and focused are among the many traits that make Willy Paul a force to reckon with in the competitive music industry.At only 19 the youngster has many accolades among them the winner of of Groove Awards  2012 new artiste of the year.Known for his bongo-like style of gospel music Willy Paul has attracted a lot of attention both positive and negative.

Just like any successful star  ,Willy has been no stranger to controversy with even socialite Pendo admitting that she did the nasty with the Lala Salama youngster.Willy has also been accused of engaging in inappropriate sex with a minor,a twelve year old class eight pupil to be precise.This lost him a lucrative deal with an international clothing label Anglohili.

According to Ghetto Radio Willy is still wading in the murky waters that is the fashion industry launching what he calls“Willy Wear.These are snazzy t-shirts that go for a mere 800 shillings and are available in a range of sizes.

Contact the star on his Facebook  Page ‘Willy Paul Muzik Bongo Gospel” and order yourself  one of the awesome t-shirts.

You know him as Uncle Chim Tuna/mwanume kachapwa. I know him as a crazy dipsh*t. The office knows him as the “ripped guy on the beach in Mombasa” He knows himself as a merciful God. Seriously, what is up with this man?

What do you do when you are sitting in the office, broody, and inexplicably mad at nothing and everything despite having a great morning? (NO, Aunt Flo isn’t visiting.) You fall into the deep end of Youtube, trying to search for inspiration for an article. This for me is usually indulging my obsession with murderers, serial killers and their psyche. So in a marathon Charles Manson afternoon, I stumbled upon a psychological analysis. But it wasn’t describing Charles Manson. It was describing my colleague Chim Tuna to me. I can’t believe I never saw this before.

Chimwani Obiajulu is a sociopath.

Superficial charm and smugness. Sociopaths have high charisma and tend to attract a following just because people want to be around them. Often appear to be sexy or have a strong sexual apetite (and sometimes wacky fetishes).

Grandiose sense of self-worth. They have to dominate others and “win” at all costs. They hate to lose any argument or fight viciously, even to the point of logical absurdity.

Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom. They feel no attachment to anything, so get easily bored. And discard things quickly. Everything in the world is like a play toy to them.

A shallow emotional range. They are incapable of feeling shame, guilt or remorse. Their brains simply lack the circuitry to process such emotions. This allows them to betray people, threaten people or harm people without giving it a second thought. They pursue any action that serves their own self interest even if it seriously harms others. This is why you will find many very “successful” sociopaths in high levels of government, in any nation.

Pathological liars. They invent outrageous lies about their experiences. They wildly exaggerate things to the point of absurdity, but when they describe it to you in a storytelling format, for some reason it sounds believable at the time.

Sociopaths are cunning/manipulative. They testin the upper 1% amongst their peers in intelligence tests. But they use their brainpower to deceive others rather than empower them. Their high IQs makes them dangerous.

Lack of remorse or guilt. Sociopaths never apologize. They are never wrong. They never feel guilt. They can never apologize. Even if shown proof that they were wrong, they will refuse to apologize and instead go on the attack.

Callous/lack of empathy. I’m sorry, flat out. Sociopaths are incapable of love. They are entirely self-serving. They may feign love to get what they want, but they don’t actually FEEL love in the way that you or I do.

Parasitic lifestyle. Everybody needs to survive right? But a sociopath’s manipulative mind tells them they don’t need to do any hard work for themselves. Just feed of others doing it, and make them think they should do it as a service forthe two of them.

Poor behavioral controls/Impulsivity. Sociopaths are more spontaneous and intense than other people. They do bizarre, erratic things that regular people wouldn’t do. They are unbound by normal social contracts. Their behavior often seems irrational and extremely risky. Many people confuse this behaviour for drug use…. Nope. They know EXACTLY what they are doing.

Promiscuous sexual behavior. They are not bound by parameters of faithfulness. Sex is just a pleasure, and if they want it, they feel entitled to be GIVEN it.

Lack of realistic long-term goals. They get bored easily. Its always a new idea for them. They are exceptionally good at a variety of things, so honing down on one skill is hard. Hence they never do it. Just flit around on a whim.

Irresponsibility. Sociopaths have a shocking inability to accept responsibility for their own actions.

Many short-term serious relationships. They can easily act “in love” with anyone. And as easily tire of them. But because of their manipulation skills, they convince every partner that they are the one. Their lack of commitment and underdeveloped emotions defeat the purpose of actual relationships: COMMITMENT and EMOTIONS.

They speak poetically. They are master wordsmiths. They are able to deliver a running “stream of conscious” monologue that is intriguing and hypnotic. They are expert storytellers. They have an innate ability to compose complex poetry.

Sociopaths are delusional. They literally believe that what they say becomes truth merely because they say it. They can actually lie to their own consciousness, to the 360 turn around that the factual truth becomes an irrefutable lie. They believe they can un-do things they’ve done by believing they never did it.

(Sidenote: The shocking thing is as I wrote this article…… I began to question my own behaviour. But you can’t diagnose yourself can you? And who gave me the authority to diagnose Chim anyway? I think I just might be a sociopath too. How many of these things apply to you?)

Anyway, there you have it.

Chimwani Obiajulu is a sociopath.

Yesterday we told you about the predicament that celebrated Gospel worship singer, Eunice Njeri found herself in when she jetted back into the country after being away for six months.

Thing is, Eunice’s Kenya Commercial Bank (KCB)’s account was hacked into via the ATM (as she was informed) and her hard-earned cash pinched. However, the “Natamani” singer today got back all her money.

In a statement, Eunice seemed upbeat despite the drawback;

“Thank you KCB Group very efficient, I got my money back”

With the opening of its Nairobi bureau in 1998, BBC World Service became the first international broadcaster to establish a news production bureau in Africa. In 2006, Amka na BBC was relocated from London to Nairobi, and BBC World Service became the first international broadcaster to produce and present radio programmes from the continent.

The BBC achieved another milestone last year when it launched TV news programmes dedicated to its African audiences – Focus On Africa and Dira ya Dunia. The BBC became the only international broadcaster with a daily TV programme in Kiswahili.

And now, Director of BBC Global News, Peter Horrocks, will be in Nairobi to announce plans by BBC World Service to move the entire radio and online production of BBC Swahili service to East Africa.

Production of BBC Swahili’s morning programme, Amka na BBC, will relocate to Dar es Salaam in Tanzania while the afternoon flagship programme, Dira ya Dunia, moves to Nairobi. Online production of the website bbcswahili.com will be shared between the two cities.

While in Nairobi, Peter Horrocks will meet with editors of Kenya’s leading media companies and join the panel of BBC World Service’s global radio programme, BBC Africa Debate, to discuss how well international broadcasters are keeping pace with changing African audiences and African media. 

[BBC]

The Judiciary Service Commission commissioner  Ahmednasir Abdullahi  had accused  the STAR newspaper Managing Director William Pike  of  being a British Spy or MI6 agent.

This happened  last week on Thursday when K24 hosted JSC commissioner Ahmednasir to respond to allegations that he was behind Gladys Sholleih’s misfortunes.

The star published this is response to the damning accusations made by the commission on  K24:

”On August 22, lawyer Mr Ahmednasir Abdullahi falsely alleged on K24 television station that the Managing Director of the Star Publications, Mr William Pike, is a ‘British spy’ or MI6 agent. This is an outright lie. There is no evidence of any kind to substantiate this claim.

The lawyer for the Star has written to K24 demanding an apology, retraction and compensation for this outrageous allegation. In our view, Mr Ahmednasir is peddling this nonsense to distract attention from the mounting criticism over his own activities within the Judicial Service Commission and the Law Society of Kenya. Mr Ahmednasir wishes to make out that he is the victim of a conspiracy, rather than the architect of his own misfortunes.

In particular, we believe Mr Ahmednasir is anxious to silence the Star newspaper which has done more than the other mainstream newspapers to expose concerns over his real estate dealings, political ambitions, and his role within the judiciary. He is therefore trying to discredit the Star by making underhand allegations about its managing director.

Mr Ahmednasir is lying about the Star and its managing director and we now publicly demand that he come up with the strictest proof, or else withdraw the allegation and apologise.
We would like to assure Mr Ahmednasir as long as he holds a public position we will continue to do our duty to our readers by holding him accountable for every utterance and action contrary to the law and the spirit of the Constitution.

The Star’s position is clear – we will not relent in our quest to expose any questionable action by unconscionable public officials.”

Miley Cyrus caused a whirlwind at the MTV Video Music Awards(VMAs) with her raunchy twerking that has left lips wagging across the globe. The young American actress and recording artist seems to have twerked up some backlash as Twitter has been going in on her ruthlessly.

Seemingly endless Twitter memes have begun to go viral on the Web, all of which poke fun at the 20-year-old’s backside.

And now Kenyans, well, @droid254 in his usual fashion wasn’t left behind in trolling Miley. The comical KOT came up with a parody reaction to Miley’s outlandish performance with a photo of the singer twerking for winner of the 3000 metres steeplechase, Ezekiel Kemboi.

Take a look;

Ok, ok. I was late. Meetings all morning. Sorry guys. Thought I’d scheduled this article but this nincompoop called Jeff Omondi couldn’t just do BASIC FONT editing for me. BOOF!

ION, ILLUMINATI ILLUMINATI ILLUMINATI!!!!!! Oledoit.

Promoters: the enemy. They’re the reason you were frozen at the door, the reason you can’t sit down to drink unless you drop 20,000 crisp ones for a bottle of Grey Goose.  These guys have more enemies than friends, but that’s kind of the point. Clubs NEED a good rep. They NEED to be the talk of the town. This is guaranteed to happen twice in a clubs life: Opening night and two weeks after (The honeymoon period. EVERYONE will have to check out the new club. Curiosity.) and later when it gets a facelift (Once that new-car-smell wears off, the drop down to B-list or C-list clientele is REAL). And thats it. Before you know it, you try to go back. But huh?

So that’s why promoters are NOT trying to be friendly to just anyone even if that means marginalizing the rest of the population (you), that’s just the cost of doing business.

So what do they do? #PippaTip promoters promote. It is their job to get the “right” people in the club, stay on the Nairobi radar for as long as possible. The concept only works because the “right” people are generally too fickle to remain loyal to one place. Think about it, if you got VIP treatment anywhere you went, why would you want to keep hitting up the same place night after night?

So, what makes them successful? Well, here is Ghafla!’s breakdown on how to be a successful promoter in Nairobi.

1. What’s your P? I means what’s your deal/steez/M.O/swag

• Image promoter– show up with the hottest girls as accessories. Never walk in a club with guys (even your boys can’t walk in with you, but should meet you at the venue).
• Mass promoter– spam EVERYONE you can with mass texts. You don’t mind crowds, get as many sweaty humans in one place as possible
• Celebrity promoter– these guys I BELIEVE have the best job. Develop personal relationships with many famous faces. My opinion is Nairobi only has ONE of these that actually exists full time. The only avenue I can see is get in good books with Iyke of M-TECH.
• Table promoters– Basically book MANY tables for BIG table clients (aka Nigerians, Saudis or South Sudanese). This type of promoter does not have a fixed weekly lineup but it is based off of where the clients want to go. Each day is a different venue. Out of all the other types, this field is controlled by women. Unfortunately these men always visit with pretty clear misogynistic intentions, so be DTF or GO HOME.
• Gay promoters– Yes, they do exist. There is a massive gay scene in Kenya (and it’s pretty AWESOME if I may say so). If you have never heard of it, it’s because they didn’t want you to. The only people in Kenya more exclusive than rich kid circles is gay circles.

2.Good DJs/Live Music

Kaytrixx: go to Bacchus on Wednesday. FULL. Go to Changes on Thursday. FULL. Zelalem: Onami on Tuesdays, FULL. Havana on Thursdays, FULL. K1 Jazz Night, FULL. DJs and live bands are essential to every promoter.So become friends with a good DJ today.

3. Girl Power

Few things will attract more business than hotties. Girl bartenders, aspiring models as hostesses, ladies night, waitresses/patrons that double up as after-party entertainment, simply work the sexy nightclub angle. Some places keep this under wraps, others are a little more open about the fact that the girls are on the payroll. Either way, having a few “professionals” mixed into the crowd helps to keep things lively and upbeat.

4. Professionalism

This ain’t no hobby. COMMIT. Promoters will present themselves in a professional manner. They will have cards and a pretty intense website/social media presence. Bigger promoters will have special packages available for special clients. This myth of double-dealing promoters, its only the wannabes who fuck you over.

5. Game changer

• Talent house/Pimp house/Model house. Whatever you want to call it. A living space where talent(hot chics/socialites) are housed by the promoter for free and in exchange these girls must go out a certain number of nights a week, EXCLUSIVELY with who the promoter wants them to.
• Range Rover. Pick up and drop home the image girls as another enticement to get them out. Talent hates paying for cabs, so why not look like a VIP coming out a black or white Range with 4 hot chics? Win-win
• Offering of dinners. This is the weakest one but it still makes a difference. You’d be shocked how many gorgeous women you can lure out of their homes with the promise of free food.

6. Day-time to night-time

A Monday to Friday job barely holds gen pop down….. The nights are glamorous and rife with drink. But a weekend is two nights in a week. You must be thinking the days must be rough huh? Well…. Yes and no. Days are down time for a promoter, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to do. If you’re low on the food chain, keep that day job. But eventually, how many nights a week can one sacrifice sleep without dying from exhaustion? Clubs have no trouble filling up on weekends. A good promoter is needed on weekday nights: if you’re working Tuesday night, Wednesday is going to be rough. If you don’t get flexible hours, forget it. At the top of the food chain, weekdays are free and life is anything BUT boring.  You’re a ROCKSTAR. This is their schedule: get home at 4 am, sleep 5 hours, up at 9/10 am, 1hr recovery, 1hr to work out (in case you haven’t noticed, club promoters don’t look like marathon runners), and then get to your lunch meetings (with other promoters, DJs, talent/socialites), pursue/check up on your side projects, maybe watch the latest movie for an odd two hours. Then the sun goes down, and the cycle starts again.

7. Dating

Having a girlfriend is a bad idea, it turns off the women you’re bringing to the club. You’re a commodity, you NEED to be available. You work odd hours, you’re surrounded by sex and alcohol, jealousy and bad decisions will run rampant. Most importantly though, these guys don’t particularly want relationships at this time. They are happy with being more casual, and yes, the occasionalfrequent one night stand.  There are no shortage of girls that want to be near their looks, visibility, and level of access(And many will sleep with them to get there).

8. The Future

In five years, most promoters aren’t sure if they’ll still be in it or not (general age group is late 20’s-mid 30’s). It’s totally fun, but it’s a spring board to something else.  Perhaps marketing, hospitality or ownership.  It’s fun for now, but it won’t be fun forever.

9. Boring nights

Incredulously, and I quote  “It’s always fun.  Some days you move a little slowly and would rather skip work and stay home watching a marathon of your favorite series, but in any job, that’s what your days off are for.  You’re in a beautiful place, dancing with girls, drinking as much or as little as you want… You won’t have these opportunities forever.”  Who wouldn’t be more than happy to do that every night?”

10. Clear Value

State what you want :eg. A cut of the bar. Collection of entrance. But the general rule, there is a minimum attendance threshold before you gets anything. The key is to be clear about the cost and benefit you are is bringing. Don’t fall victim to pipe dreams you can’t deliver.

11. Find a Good Promotional Fit

Reach out to niche groups. If you are going for a classy, sophisticated Martini bar vibe, don’t have a wet t-shirt contest. Rather than attract new patrons, you’re gonna drive away your regulars. The “right” people can be broken down into very simple groups: Celebrities, rich guys who buy bottles, rich Nigerians, expatriates and of course, the given: HOT girls. Specialize.

12. Know when to Hire Yourself

If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. If you are having a hard time finding someone who will carry out your vision, you will have to be that person. But beware, its an intensive gig. If you’re busy, you need a partner. Someone you trust who shares your vision. Tag team to give yourselves off time.

Here’s a tip from the Pros: Team up with the local radio station in your area. Get program hosts to appear/host some club promotion events at your joint. Usually they can promote you on their programs and you can exponentially increase your reach. Offer to put up banners from the radio station, or offer them sponsorship, or put many of the station execs on your guest list. This should give both you and the radio station some free exposure.

So with all that said, who are these “promoters”? You think I have created a species in my head? Here are my top five? Well, click here to find out.

We’ve witnessed politicians splash cash at rallies and even at one time a renowned flashy politician tossed stacks of cash from his chopper as he flew overhead. Over the weekend, Kenya’s richest (arguably) artist, Jaguar pulled a similar stunt.

In a short clip recorded from his concert in Meru, Jaguar is seen holding a stack of notes and then making it rain in the middle of his performance, like a boss as fans and the security personnel included scramble for it. However, Jaguar urges them to stop the scuffle and goes ahead to fling the notes in the air.

Contacted, Jaguar says he did that “to show love for his fans” since it’s them that have propelled him to where he is. Classified information reveals that Jaguar earns at least KSh500,000 from any concert he headlines; explains why he can make it rain.

Here’s the clip from the Meru concert;

{youtube}avdsNVReNFg{/youtube}

Ahmednasir Abdullahi is no new name in the Kenyan political scene.He is known for his brilliance and his over the top arrogance.It is alleged that he is the guy accused of throwing one Glady’s Sholleih under the bus.

Ahmednasir last week  experienced the bitchy back hand slap  of social media for allegedly trashing the Star Newspaper calling it gh­etto and cheap The Judiciary Service Commission commissioner continued the rampage and accused the the STAR newspaper Managing Director William Pike of being a British Spy or MI6 agent.

This all went down last week on Thursday when K24 hosted JSC commissioner Ahmednasir to respond to allegations that he was behind Gladys Sholleih’s misfortunes.

Today morning the lawyer posted this:

Ahmednasir Abdullahi‏@ahmednasirlaw . His code name amongst the intelligence community is william “simba” pike.

Ahmednasir Abdullahi ‏@ahmednasirlaw. Let william simba pike wait for our side of the story before he runs a round like a headless chicken. Spying is treason.

Ahmednasir Abdullahi ‏@ahmednasirlaw I have no political ambitions or real estate dealings that I am scared of. I am an open book. But simba is a spy hiding as editor.

The long awaited, highly anticipated and controversial nuptial between Kenya’s gospel singer Emmy Kosgey and Apostle Anslem Madubuko of Nigeria will be taking place tomorrow!

And my oh my the guest list boasts the who is who in this lavish affair that will be a traditional wedding held according to her Kalenjin customs.

The gospel artist who is set to wed the 60+ year old Nigerian man of the clothe whose wife died a few short months ago will be witnessed by the following dignitaries:

1. President Uhuru Kenyatta
2. Deputy President William Ruto
3. Governors
4. Senators Former
5. Former President Mwai Kibaki
6. Former President Daniel Arap Moi
7. The Clergy
8. Prominent Businessmen

Keep it Ghafla for more information!

Source: Liz Njuguna of Ghetto Radio

One of Kenya’s most legendary music producers has decided to give lessons to the rest of Kenya’s producers. Ted Josiah who fled to the U.K as a political asylum seeker back in the days when the hit he produced for Gidi Gidi Maji Maji was causing political ripples is back.

And this time he has decided to impart some knowledge on the younger generation of producers seeking to have their sound heard and appreciated. And what better way to do so in this digital age than through the internet?

He has recorded a “Webisode”for that precise purpose and it has all the instructions you would ever need to get that ambition accomplished. The video has the man, in the flesh, giving all the instructions necessary and teaching the aspiring producers, sound engineers and composers on how they can get to the top.

So if you or a friend harbours ambitions of being Kenya’s next top producer, watch the video below:

{youtube}dAKV901sKpY{/youtube}