Month: August 2013

Two days after featuring on Tujuane, Eda Atieno a.k.a Beijing is still being roasted by the remorseless Kenyans on the blogosphere. The latest to lash out at the chic is well-known Kenyan artiste living in the diaspora, K-Nel.

Here’s what he had to say;

What’s up Mrs Beijing, aka Mrs I don’t date many Africans aka Mrs Farmers Choice? Let me begin by stating that when I saw Edah was rocking sandals (nginyira in Kyuk) at the intro, I was already thinking of switching off the episode. Edah’s wardrobe malfunction needs prayers. What saved her were the earings. The rest was straight garbage. You are attending a date Edah, not a marathon race! The attitude Edah put on the moment she took that seat (after Ricky pulled the chair for her), directly switched my penis off. I said it! That arrogant face she dressed even before the date kicked off, wuiiiiiiii no wayyyyyyy! That face made Edah just look ugly for the rest of the date and centuries to come. Let me get to the Quotes that made me hang my laptop with a rope on the ceiling out of anger and watch the episode in a converted position:

1; I don’t date many Africans; Wuiiiiiii!! Edah, so you prefer not to date African men but instead deal with Beijing Homo Sapiens? Now I understand why we have chinese dudes all over Kenya probably searching for your ratchet ass and secondary, you confessed your love for small dicks on public television and for that one you get a K-Nel round of applause. I swear am not racist, save your comments on my penis subliminal shot. Sister Edah, get an African man who when he comes home screams out loud 
“Am home baby. I swear baby if I pull out my dick the whole room will get dark” #BernieMacVoice. I am in the Diaspora for years and you better ask the African sisters out here about a foreign man. I can write an encyclopedia about it. An African man can love, treat a woman with dignity and respect and yes….fuck her good too. Can I get an amen?

2; What was that fake accent all about Edah? You reminded me of guys who go to India for 2 weeks, then return to Kenya with an “American Accent”. WTF? Learn how to talk Edah! Shit put me off. That fakeness, acting like you can’t speak swahili since you were in Beijing for 4 years. Ninjaress please? Who are you fooling? You made a fool out of yourself again on public television.

3; “Can you afford me?”: When Edah dropped that question, I was drinking coffee and dropped my cup. What? Afford you? My reply would have been like straight 
 “kwani unatoka pesa ngapi? Kama wewe ni shamba au gari? wika bei basi.” (I won’t translate this in english so that Edah don’t get the message). Afford you Edah? Are you serious? I need to sex you up “back to your senses.”. Next……

4; “I love sausages”: Now that made me press “replay” few times and did you watch the way Edah was biting that sausage? Oh Lorddd? There are 2 versions of my story here; 1: She hasn’t eaten for days and therefore was too hungry or 2: She hasn’t eaten a dick for a decade and is undergoing sexual depression. Am I getting too legit? Play that scene and be the judge. I literally was waiting for Ricky to stand up, open up his zipper and tell Edah…….“Now that you have finished eating that sausage, I brought one too. Endelea kazi.”

Her final decision of not picking up Ricky I completely understand. Few things she aired out was nothing but the gospel truth and those are facts about the modern woman. I give her credit for that real talk that even us man need to take a pen and a pad and jot facts down. I know Edah is the new “Enemy of state” based on comments on social network. Reminded me of Suzzy aka Miss Diva. Well, I have shared my 2 cents to the saga. Agree to disagree, trust me am goooooooddddd. As I sign off, here is a present for Edah for her memorable role on Tujuane.

Together with Jalang’o and Otoyo, Papa Shirandula’s Wilbroda not only tickled your ribs but also increased Molo Milk sales significantly after the Molo Milk ad hit your screens. The commercial was even voted the best TV commercial at some point. And now she’s back in yet another TV ad set to appear on your TVs very soon.

Jacqueline Nyaminde aka Wilbroda has signed an endorsement deal with food processor Promasidor well known for its Sossi and Onga brands.

The TV Commercial shows Wilbroda in Lina Njoroge’s kitchen showing her style of cooking various Sossi dishes including stew, pilau, omelette, matoke, githeri and other simple to prepare recipes. In their interaction, Lina explains the health and nutritional benefits of soya while Wilbroda reinforces why she like the Sossi product for her family’s wel-lbeing.

The TV Commercial was shot Cape Town South Africa and was facilitated by the Promasidor creative team and executed by Buchanan Group- a production house that specializes in kitchen set ups and who have done numerous productions for companies specializing in food products.

Well, well, well, I never saw this coming not even in my wildest dream. Huddah is living up to her moniker, “Thee Boss Lady”. Last night she pulled a bolt from the blue on everyone when she posted a photo of her handgun plus a few foreign currency notes.

The young socialite captioned the photo, “Licensed”; an indication that she is a licensed gun holder. This seemed quite unreal, so I quickly conducted a reverse image search and after a 3.3937 billion images were examined I couldn’t find similar images, accordingly, I gave her the benefit of doubt.

Without any delay here’s Huddah’s pistol;

 

 

Be sure not to cross Huddah’s path now…

What in the name of the Lord is happening in the Gospel Ministry (or industry as it’s commonly referred to)? Maybe these are signs of end times. Anyhow, yesterday it emerged that Dr. Prophet Victor Kanyari of Salvation Healing Ministry Church is the husband to renowned Gospel songstress, Betty Bayo.

And now more details are slowly coming out about the “man of God”. Apparently, ‘Prophet’ Kanyari’s younger brother, Jackson Waweru, is also a pastor who compels his ‘disciples’ to “plant seeds”. Waweru is also a televangelist whose sermons are aired on Sundays on UTV.

That, not withstanding, ‘Prophet’ Kanyari is the son of another rogue pastor, Prophetess Bishop Lucy Nduta who was a few years back charged at a Nairobi Court for double-crossing unsuspecting Christians over
KSh1 Million.

The story follows that Nduta was offering a ‘miraculous’ Aids cure after the payment of an offering of between KSh200,000 and KSh400,000. Patients who spoke to The Nation then, recounted how they sold their property or took loans to pay ‘Prophetess’ Nduta. A registration fee of Sh1000 was mandatory.

Prophetess Bishop Lucy Nduta

Two patients narrated how they paid hundreds of thousands, but continued being positive. Lucy Nduta claimed that she received the gift of healing after she was “prophesied for and prayed for” by an unnamed “woman of God” in 1992.

“In this church alone I have more than 200 people who were HIV-positive, but whom I prayed for and changed their status,” she bragged in 2006.

Funny enough, Nduta and her two sons Kanyari and have been using the same line to con people, “plant a seed”

Twerking has become quite the in-thing in today’s culture. Everyone is twerking, men women and even children are popping their behinds like its going out of style.

K-Nel a German based Kenyan rapper has decided to launch a twerking competition where all you ladies get to twerk the hell out of your money-makers …for money this time.If your twerk video is the best 10,000 Kenya Shillings is yours and Anglohili merchandise is thrown in as a bonus.

So what do you need to do?

1; Record a video twerking. VINE would be the best option since it’s easy, fast and short and easy to share.

2; E-Mail it to djknel@gmail.com, Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/knelking or via my Facebook account: https://www.facebook.com/nelson.k.muriuki

3; They videos will be featured on the blog, shared on social networks for people to VOTE i.e see who will get more likes or comments.

PS: The Twitter hashtag is #AnglohiliBlogTwerkChallenge

4; There will be a surprise PRIZE courtesy of Anglohili Clothing.

Ladies what are you waiting for?

We are used to seeing Papa Shirandula’s ‘wife’ in a very unflattering ensemble.Headscarf,lesso and one of those polyester dresses that smell funny.

Today we spotted the actress looking very fine in a LBD (Little Black Dress) in this picture with two major radio personalities in the entertainment scene.The picture was taken as a promotional poster for a new talk show called the Inner Circle
 
This is an innovative talk show that is still in the works but is expected to roll out in two weeks.It will be hosted by three influential women in the entertainment Industry.Lynda Nyangweso – singer and radio show host Kiss 100, Jacky ‘Wilbroda’ Nyaminde-Actress and radio show host Hot 96 poet and emcee Cindy Bonita Ogana will come together to bring you – The Inner Circle

The Inner Circle is a  setting for unconventional fun and humor while discussing contentious matters and current affairs.

Plunging necklines is a hard look to  pull off . It could go wrong in too many ways,you might show way too much ,your boobs could fall out when you bend or worse you could walk along the streets of Nairobi with a nip slip without even realizing it.

Very few people can pull off this looK and you have to be very ballsy to even try it.At Lady Jay Dee’s album launch Feza Tanzania’s BBA decided to try this look do you think she pulled it off:

   

 

Images courtesy of pro_24blogspot.com

 

Blind dates can be unnerving,they can be especially unnerving when your date is completely uncivil and has what my English teacher used to call “airs”.

Calling Eda’s date a total disaster would be a gross understatement,we could blame her date’s t-shirt-tucked in jeans and unzipped hoodie ensemble as the fuel to this fire. But we all know that her fake American accent and her offhand comments were the final nail to this coffin.

At  the beginning of the date she says she came to Tujuane to meet a real person but behaved as real as one of those  Nokla/ Samnung/ Sonia Eriksson China phones .I have to admit i got a little worked up and felt like doing this to my desk:

but one of my workmates said this.

I then continued watching the video,jaw on the floor in disbelief as she went on and on about her being a classy busy body.Take a look at the video that made Eda the butt of all jokes:

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Barely a year after it’s premier, Kenya culinary TV Show “Tales From Bush Larder” hosted by Chef Kiran Jethwa will now air on National Geographic.

NatGeo began airing the 1st season of Bush Larder this week. The show will air every Monday at 7pm, while repeat shows will air on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Commenting about the deal, Chef Kiran said, “While Kenya is not known for its cuisine, the quality and variety of food and ingredients available here are fantastic.”

Tales From The Bush Larder takes viewers on a culinary tour of Kenya and is shot against breathtaking landscapes, each episode explores the source of one of the unusual ingredients that the country is rich in: Nile perch from Lake Turkana, African wild honey and wild fowl, Swahili prawns, Boran beef, Dorobo lamb, Palm Wine, Mud Crabs from the Northern Coast.

The show also highlights the many positive aspects of Kenyan people, Kenyan life and Kenyan food. In the show, Chef Kiran travel across the stunning countryside of Kenya to find interesting ingredients, and in turn meet the vibrant people responsible for procuring them. The show also focuses on the sheer resourcefulness shown by the fishermen and farmers of rural Kenya who often operate in extremely harsh conditions with crude equipment yet remain persistently cheerful and positive.

Eda atieno is the talk of the town. and not in a flattering way. Her performance last night on Tujuane has left alot of tongues wagging and I for one have to tilt my hat to her for not letting anyone else’s opinion and remarks get her down.

and with that having been said and done, I came across some pictures of her and my oh my isn’t this diva rather ratchet! Enjoy:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Images courtesy of Nairobi Wire

I have to admit John Kiriamiti’s books were the highlight of my primary school life.For those who knew me,i always had my nose buried in a novel glasses pressed hard against my nose or squinting when my glasses broke and they broke a lot.

John Kiriamiti’s books offered me an escape from the dull  prison that was boarding school so you can imagine how excited I was when i was told that one of my favorite books was being brought to life.

I was however disappointed like many other Kenyans on learning that Nigerian actor Jim Iyke would play the role of Zollo,it was ridiculous!It is like me being cast to play a role like the Duchess of Cambridge in the 1800’s. Do not get me wrong Jim is an awesome actor but I felt that the film would lack that Kenyan authenticity that only a Kenyan could pull off .Nairobi Half-Life was successful because of employing local talent.

Steven Anderson Wekesa a film critic and lecturer at the Department of Theatre Arts and Film Technology in Kenyatta University  had this to say about Iyke playing the role:

“In my opinion, not only is it unethical and disrespectful to hire a “foreigner” to play the role of one of the most popular Kenyan “criminals,” I find it absurd that Jim Iyke is this foreigner. Not only is Jim Iyke an overrated “bad boy” but I strongly believe he is not any better an actor than our own Peter King, Ainea Ojiambo, Maina Olwenya, Mwaura Bilal, Melvin Alusa, Makbul Mohammed or “Master Sugu” (the thug in Tausi). I am of a strong opinion that he will not deliver just like he has failed to in many other Nigerian movies that I have watched. Apart from the fact that he is not always as believable in his body language, his Black American accent will be a major factor in his failure if he decides not to shed it and speak like John Kiriamiti. The directors have to work extremely hard to deliver on Jim’s acting.”

Source actors.co.ke

Big Brother Africa is about to wrap up and there are 5 contestants left. With that having been said, the voting rules have changed and you are voting for who you want to win. That having been said, there is no Kenyan in the running for the money and that is a shame!

But that out of the way, I am rather curious as to whom Kenyans want to win Big Brother Africa: The Chase and as such I have decided to design a poll that will give me a small hint. So have your say, who would you like to win BBA 8?

 

 

Elikem (Ghana)

Cleo (Zambia)

Dillish (Namibia)

Melvin (Nigeria)

Beverly (Nigeria)

{acepolls 80}

Just a week or so after Jeff Omondi introduced Wilbroda’s monster Mercedes vehicle, it is time Uncle Chim spoke to you about her new endorsement deal.

Wilbroda whose government names are Jacqueline Nyaminde, stars in the popular Citizen TV comedy(?) Papa Shirandula and has recently signed an endorsement deal with food processor Promasidor well known for it’s Sossi and Onga brands.

Wilbroda will feature in a 2 minute Sossi Cooking show, which has 12 episodes alongside reknown nutritionist Lina Njoroge.

Commenting about Wilbroda’s role, Promasidor Marketing Director Mark Williams said, “We contracted her as an artist. By virtue of her celebrity status she will definitely be an ambassador albeit in a subtle way.  She genuinely has an interest the brand and sees the relevance to her audience. Wilbroda’s role is to showcase how simple it is to adopt Sossi in the diet and commonly prepared dishes. If she can prepare a range of simple delicious meals, then anyone certainly can.”

The TV Commercial shows Wilbroda in Lina Njoroge’s kitchen showing her style of cooking various Sossi dishes including stew, pilau, omelette, matoke, githeri and other simple to prepare recipes. In their interaction, Lina explains the health and nutritional benefits of soya while Wilbroda reinforces why she like the Sossi product for her family’s wellbeing.

Mr Williams added that the rationale behind the TV Commercial  is to educate Kenyans on how to prepare different meals with Sossi. “We would like to show Kenyans how versatile Sossi is and emphasize that it can be used in any of their favourite meals for optimal health benefits. The nutritionist will impart the benefits of soya and provide a strong reason to believe as to why anyone and everyone should introduce and sustain use of soya in their diets,” he said.   

The TV Commercial was shot Cape Town South Africa and was facilitated by the Promasidor creative team and executed by Buchanan Group- a production house that specializes in kitchen set ups and who have done numerous productions for companies specializing in food products.

Yesterday night saw the inception of yet another Susan Mirfat wannabe,a lady by the name Eda.

She was snotty and completely unbearable to say the least and the red horse hair did not help.In usual Kenyan fashion she was trolled to the moon,her fate was even worse than Susan Mirfat’s .

The gloves came off and people really went HAM on her.Here are some of the scathing reactions on social media:

Kui Soni This chic will make me weep ‪#‎tujuane‬ Goodness!

Brian Mbunde™ ‏@Brianmbunde Lmfao,my mum is asking for this episode to be cut short 😀 #tujuane

Ty ‏@tyrus_ Dear @eda_atieno, you cannot be a wh*re and ugly at the same time. Choose one please! #Tujuane

Wangari Ma’THIGH ‏@DopestChiQaU’ll have to work daily cz no man will waste his penny on a rugged shoe RT @eda_atieno: I can’t believe still have to work today……….

Ty ‏@tyrus_ Look up the meaning of RATCHET and you will find @eda_atieno’s photo as the definition #Tujuane

Wangui Kiili ‏@kenyangetter #tujuane That man is a gentleman.He was patient through that horror and did not once betray what he was thinking.

Shee Waruinge ‏@ShiroAlusiola You look so different on #Tujuane @eda_atieno The make up really worked.

It actually got worse:

 

Brian Mbunde: My reaction after she asked the guy ” can you afford me?

The holidays are finally here -if you are still in high school and if you’re in university, you have either just gone back to school or your sitting your exams. It doesn’t matter though because we all like movies aye? And for those of us stuck at the office, we love a good plan for the weekend… You know, other than partying and sleeping.

So without further ado, allow me to present for you, the movies you can catch at any Starflix cinema outlet:

 

Movie Schedule – Starflix Prestige Plaza

Tickets are only 400 bob!

“Ask for our special combo – Unlimited Popcorn + Soda + Ticket!”

• “2 Guns,” starring Denzel Washington, Mark Wahlberg & Paula Patton
Fri – Mon: 12:15pm, 4:30pm, 6:40pm, 8:50pm
Tues – Thurs: 2:20pm, 4:30pm, 6:40pm, 8:50pm

• “The Smurfs 2,” starring Hank Azaria, Neil Patrick Harris & Jayma Mays
Daily: 10:15am, 12:20pm, 2:25pm, 4:40pm

• “Officer Down,” starring Stephen Dorff, Stephen Lang & David Boreanaz
Fri – Mon: 2:25pm, 6:45pm, 9:00pm
Tues – Thurs: 6:45pm, 9:00pm

• “The Lone Ranger,” starring Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer & William Fichtner
Tues – Thurs: 11:30am

 

This movie is a must watch!

 

Movie Schedule – Starflix Village Market

Ticket + Soda 500 bob!

• “World War Z,” starring Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos & Daniella Kertesz
Daily: 10:30am, 12:45pm, 3:30pm, 6:15pm, 8:30pm

• “Despicable Me 2,” starring Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig & Benjamin Bratt
Daily: 10:30am, 12:30pm, 2:30pm, 4:30pm, 6:30pm, 8:30pm

• “Monsters University,” starring Billy Crystal, John Goodman & Steve Buscemi
Daily: 10:00am, 12:00pm, 2:00pm, 4:00pm

• “Officer Down,” starring Stephen Dorff, Stephen Lang & David Boreanaz
Daily: 11:45am, 2:00pm, 4:15pm, 6:15pm, 8:30pm

• “Star Trek Into Darkness,” starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto & Zoe Saldana
Daily: 6:00pm, 8:30pm

If you thought Feza was popular in East Africa you ain’t seen nothing yet.When Feza visited her beau’s home,the Tswana people received the Tanzanian star very warmly.

A crowd of adoring Oneza fans filled the Sir Seretse Khama Airport in Botsawana anticipating the arrival of the other half of the Oneza duo

The duo got  mobbed by the crowd once Feza arrived.

 

 

Feza had flown in  to Oneal’s home country so that the couple can leave together for the Chase’s finals in South Africa.Hmm… it seems the Oneza duo should ride off into the sunset together as the in-laws have already put their stamp of approval on the dynamic duo.

Photos Courtesy Of bongo5.com