Today I have decided to appreciate my brothers from the lakeside. A Luo man’s enthusiasm for the automobile cannot be doubted. To Luo men, cars are about more than mobility. Cars are their cave, their cudgel, their fire, their tribe. And it’s not the ordinary cars that keep coughing a rib-rattling blast of exhaust. It’s the Mercedes, the BMWs, the Range Rovers and the Audis.It’s the cars that have been engineered to perfection
Luo men don’t simply own cars — they have relationships with them. But the question is, what accounts for the tremendous intimacy between Luo men and expensive cars? There’s a myriad of reasons but here are the 5 best ones
They use cars as baits to lure the Njeris and Akinyis
Kenyan women are sexually aroused by the snarl and cackle of high-performance luxury cars. All of us can be forgiven if we confidently conclude that the roar of a luxury-car engine actually causes a primeval physiological response in Kenyan women- it makes them wet. In the eyes of a Kenyan woman, If you don’t have a decent car, you’re easily dismissed as ineligible for dating and mating. Nowadays mobility equals nobility just the way in ancient times, a cool horse bestowed knightly status on chevaliers.
And since Luo men adore women, they can’t help but acquire appropriate tools to attract them and make them feel at ease. The most important of these tools happens to be a cool ndai.Girls like rich boys and, by logical extension, their badass cars. Luo men, having mastered the art of romance, understand this very well.
Flashy cars are the crowning factor of their achievements
Just as to a Kalenjin man finds pride in owning acres of land in Kabartonjo and a Kikuyu man finds pride in owning several rental houses, a successful Luo man finds pride in owning luxury cars. And since Luo men have a lot going for them. An exotic car is one of the few places that lets them be alone without having their solitude pathologized.
Cool cars create the perfect environment to fall into the massive hypnotism of the road and be mindful of the moment. If you’ve ever driven an expensive car, you know what i mean. Well, i don’t one but i have driven several. The scenery scrolls by in its peripheral totality.
For a Luo man, a moment on the road alone is a rare and fantastic gift. While driving, they can think about their PhDs, rehash arguments with former girlfriends and wives, analyze what Gor Mahia need to do to win, commune with spirits of their ancestors and think about changing the world. It’s a marvellous way to live
A cool car denotes influence
Luo men love being influential. Even at a kibanda, the luo guy is always the one trying to look cool and take charge of the situation. When it comes to cars, a man’s nature of influence is determined by his modern-day chariot of choice. The Probox driver epitomizes ‘slave of hustle’ while the Mercedes driver epitomizes ‘master of hustle’.
A cool car is the most reliable index of a man’s material affluence and tribal status. When a guy has a Range Rover, you can quickly conclude that he’s rich. You can safely assume that he has kakitu. That’s how Luo men want to be seen. Even if they aren’t that rich.
Just as in the eyes of society, females are valued for their youth and attractiveness, males are valued for their wealth and power.
It’s in the genes
This explains why a luo man who can never wash a spoon will devote hectolitres of water to washing his BMW. A luo man might not be able to bring to mind the date of his son’s birthday is will be able to tell you all the specifications of his motor. He will know how it measures up against all the cars in its price range, year or model. More so, stories of luo men who spend fortunes on car after car when they hardly have houses or land of their own are commonplace. There’s nothing wrong with that.Kikuyu men are like white men. They get money but don’t spend it. Luo men on the other hand are like black americans. To them, money was made to be spent.
Luo men are obsessed with engineering prospects
The luo community as a whole has more engineers than all other tribes combined. Just as the Luhya community where i am from has more ‘bedroom mburis’ than all other tribes combined. Every luo boy wants to be an engineer when they grow up. And maybe this is why Luo men love big cars. A luo man just doesn’t have his beloved Range Rover Sport just because somebody in Britain built it. He has it because an engineering team focused on the mechanics, an aesthetics team worked on the looks, the QA guys put countless hours into testing it, and so on.
The means that lead to the end of a pretty car are hundreds upon untold hundreds of man hours. There are innovations upon innovations, processes upon processes, pressed unto themselves over and over, folded and tempered like a sword until, at one particular point in time — they all came together to make one amazing car.
