Hapa Kule News used to air just after Jameni Show every Thursday from 8:00pm to 8:30pm before it was replaced by another comedy show dubbed ‘Mazagazaga’ on KTN.
According to a well placed source at KTN, the show was scrapped over poor ratings.
Fans of ‘Hapa Kule’ will be pleased to know that the show has found a new home in Maisha Magic East.
Have a look:
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Kenyans are feared regionally due to their entrepreneurial spirit and hardworking nature.
They have a tendency to overshadow the locals in the pursuit for the shilling. It appears the fear has gone international first with Donald Trump particular hate of Kenyans and now athletes from Kenya seeking to represent the US in the Olympics are facing the wrath of some of the citizens over the move. This reaction came following the announcement of that three Kenyans will be representing the US in the coming Rio Olympics.
Shadrack Kipchirchir, Leonard Korir pictures above, have already made the team for 10,000 meters as were to be joined by Paul Chelimo on the 5,000 meters. The three have made it through US army where they enlisted speeding up the naturalization process as they bare serving in the army and joined the World Class Athletes Program provided by the army.
However, the news has not been treated well in several forums with some asking why a US Olympic team would be made of citizens from another country. other questioned the patriotism of the Kenyans as others saw them a threat to American athletes who will lose out places in college scholarships and even Olympic places. Others were blunt racist in their objection saying the Kenyan and Ethiopian athletes are just after the money. The comments on various running forum include opinions like the following;
I follow Track And Field closely and I don’t recall this happening in the past. So not only are Americans being displaced in college scholarships by foreign athletes, they are now being crowded out of their own Olympic team by these same people with the aid and approval of the US military.
One can only wonder why the current group are all from the President’s father’s homeland and the conduit–the United States Army–is linked to the Commander-In-Chief.
my glasses are clear wrote:
I’m going to tell it like it is, and this has nothing to do with xenophobia or racism. This is the full truth. They are only in it for the money. They don’t give two seashells about “the American dream”– it’s a facade. They want to race on the American circuit, make way more money they they otherwise would as a C class Kenyan, and send the money back home to their families.
They will join the Army, marry an American (and possibly divorce soon after), continue to take minimal college courses to remain in the country, overstay their Vida, claim “asylum”, etc.. Whatever it takes to be able to stay in America and continue to make much more money than what they’d make in Kenya, Ethiopia, etc.. These are not well intentioned Kenyans living the “American dream”.
This is why so many are opposed to what’s happening. It’s all so fake, and we’re seeing through the rose colored glasses.
I don’t care that native Kenyans are running for the US Army. But I’m not a fan of people who were born outside of the US being US olympians. Doesn’t matter if they’re from Africa or Asia or Europe, etc… If nationalism has no place in the olympics, then their shouldn’t be national teams.
However, since there were no American-born athletes that were close to the Kenyans in the race I don’t care too much in this particular instance.
BTW, all of the Kenyans I have met during collegiate racing and post-collegiate road racing have been great guys. You message board heros who like to make this debate about racism are being silly. Most or all of us respect Kenyans and immigrants from anywhere else. We’d just prefer the US Olympic team be composed of US-born athletes, including those whose parents are immigrants.
The current WCAP track and field roster under Browne has eight members: seven native Kenyan distance runners and a race walker.
Five of the Kenyans have joined the Army since 2014. The race walker joined in 2000.
Make of that what you will.
Ok, so they’re in this World Class Athlete Program. I did a little googling and it looks like Chelimo and Kipchirchir are both in Oregon (and affiliated with Nike), while Leonard Korir is in Colorado Springs. So my question becomes, what actual obligations do these guys have to the Army? Chelimo’s training in Oregon, at Nike in Beaverton, with Dan Browne. So what is he actually doing for the Army? Does he have army-related training/work responsibilities?
Read more:http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=7163051#ixzz4EMkidc00
Read more:http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=7441269&page=3#ixzz4EMkCEyVD
Omera was flossing a black Lamborghini bwana!
Fred Omondi left Kenya a week ago to kick start his world tour with a show in Berlin, Germany last Friday 8th July.
Fred’s world tour will see him perform in different cities in France and Germany until the end of the month when he will have his last gig.
But Fred is not in West Europe to perform only, the comedian also has time for ballin. Fred caused lot of excitement when he was seen showing off a Lamborghini.
Obviously the pricey Italian-made sport car is not his but all the same he made a statement.
Long before he was a multi award winning photojournalist, a TED fellow and numerous other accolades,
long before he was an activist with resources, Boniface Mwangi was just another teenager about town trying to eke out a living. In doing so he tried a couple things and at one time he was selling books on the streets of Nairobi.
On Sunday he turned 33 and shared a photo of his formative career when all he had was a dream and it is hard to relate how that teenager has morphed into one of the most powerful activists involved in a multi faceted movement. A divisive figure he may be but there is no doubting his influence especially among the youth.
Here is the photo of a much younger, and quieter Boniface Mwangi
Gloria Muliro ex-husband the disgraced Pastor Omba has joined her in the mourning of her father who passed away last week.
Despite the existing differences which led to their separation and his numerous unheeded pleas for another chance, Pastor Omba decided to send his condolences and express sadness over the incident.
He said he is at loss and distraught over the death of a man he termed ‘my hero’ and said he will greatly miss his father in law. Taking to Facebook to convey his sadness, this is what he wrote
“I sincerely convey my heartfelt grief to my family, Words cannot express my sadness for the Loss of my father in-law, My Hero Mr David Muliro. My deepest condolences. May your soul rest in peace papa. I will miss you forever,”
It is not yet known if he will travel to join the family during the funeral.
Mgenge True is going back to class after a winning a scholarship!
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” Nelson Mandela. Many won’t see the essence of Nonini going back to class given that he’s already a success story, a legend in music industry.
But Hubert Nakitare better known as Nonini is going back to school nevertheless. The godfather of Genge has won a scholarship to study a UK Business undergraduate programme at Edulink International College.
Edulink International College has partnered with England’s University of Northampton to offer the course Nonini will be studying for the academic year 2016-17.
Girls looking for a shortcut in life settle for sponsors for that desired life in the fast lane. But Akothee reveals it’s not easy making money even if you have a sponsor!
Only girls with a certain set of intelligence will make a killing out of sponsor money to become financially independent.
Some well known socialites have been jumping from one sponsor to the next just to get money to foot their expensive lifestyles.
The trend of girls searching for sponsors has been on the rise and Akothee has advice for those looking for sponsors.
Speaking to Mzazi Willy Tuva on Radio Citizen’s Mambo Mseto, Akothee informed girls only their brains would make them rich.
The songbird said girls could spread legs as much as they want but if they don’t have discipline and ambition they won’t ever make enough money to be rich.
“Hakuna siku mwili yako inaweza kupatia hela ,ni akili yako itakupatia pesa, if you disciplined, you have an ambition, and you have a passion of doing anything God will hold your hands” Said Akothee.
Akothee and Mzazi Willy Tuva on Radio Citizen
Bungoma is proving to be a county of quite many firsts and undiscovered talent.
In this land of heroes long since passed into legend like Elijah Masinde, the men here are proving to be followers of their dreams and desires even if it means squeezing water from a stone. The last couple of months have seen sons of this county write their way into history brooks or the national folklore.
There have been many instances past and present that have made the third most populous county in Kenya to forever be etched in the memory of the public. Its politicians from Masinde Muliro to Kijana Wamalwa to Bifwoli Wakoli, Musikari Kombo and Wetangula have a way of being famous for both their skill as their comical ways.
However, it is the deeds of normal citizens that make this count merit a national heritage status. There must be reason why one county develops such an uncanny ability for the humorous and extraordinary.
Consider the following five instances
Jehovah Wanyonyi
At the top of this list has to be the ‘Immortal’ Jehovah Wanyonyi. This is a man who believed he was the creator himself, had about 25 wives and almost 100 children. He started from his home place in Bungoma and would disappear/die/ascend into heaven in Uasin Gishu. He had once threatened to curse the nation with an AIDs epidemic if the government did not give him 3 billion shillings. Even in his death his shadow is still looming large and he will be forever remembered.
Baengele Clan
They rose to prominence at the burial of the Late VP Kijana Wamalwa. The rituals they came up with from stopping the body getting into the compound, the position of the body in the coffin, travelling 12 years later to London to fetch Wamalwa’s spirits made for a good National Geographic feature.
109 k Wheelbarrow
This one was the most standout product among the many that just showed how corruption had devolved to the counties. It stood out because of the absurdity both of the product and the price as well as the explanation given by the Bungoma Governor Ken Lusaka for the cost. The this was a special wheelbarrow with no carcinogens.
Nabii Yohanna
Just when the nation was done mourning the god, Jehovah Wanyonyi, in his place stepped Nabii Yohanna. His claims and achievement make the entire Pentecostal prophets a joke. This man claims he is the last prophet of God coming behind after only Moses and Jesus. He first got a vision when Just 7 years old and started writing the ‘New Bible’ which would take him 68 years and now is complete with 93 books. His Bible is aptly titled ‘Agano Mpya na ya Mwisho’ he also has a new set of 12 commandments. In pursuant of the command to go forth and fill the earth, the prophet has 36 wives and 99 children. If ever you thought you had 99 problems…
Bungoma Cyclist
This guy sure needs to go professional. You do not just ride 400 KM like it is a hobby, arrive at the destination in good spirits all just to watch a football match. The mental strength needed and the physical muscle to bend a normal black mamba to your will on an unforgiving terrain for 27 hours is just superhuman. Bungoma have their new hero and he is trending under Bungoma man. He sure would make a good sidekick to captain America now that Raven is dead.
Bungoma Chopper guy
The ultimate stunt man who did such a maneuver without even knowing he was pulling a Chuck Norris like move. The Bungoma Rambo gets into the history annals as being the only Kenyan to inspire a game. If onl we could be appreciative of such talent instead of handcuffing him.
These are just some of the few instances that have become something sort of urban legends, there are more interesting people down in Bungoma you can be sure another will burst on the scene in the very near future.
With the UK already having a female Prime Minister and the US expected to vote Hillary Clinton as first US female President this November, Fadumo Dayib hope of clinching the presidency has received a major morale boost.
Women are literally taken over the world; Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff, German Chancellor Angela Merkel and South Korean President Park Geun-hye, have given women reasons to run for the top seat in their respective countries.
Theresa May became UK’s second female Prime Minister as of today and many hope Hillary Clinton will make mincemeat of Donald Trump come November 8th when Americans go to the ballot to elect their next president.
The revolution is also happening in Africa; Kenyan born Fadumo Dayib has tossed herself to the electorate in hopes of ousting Hassan Sheikh Mohamoud as president in the forthcoming Somalia presidential election slated for August 2016.
Fadumo was born in Kenya to Somali parent but her family was deported back to her native due to political reasons when Somalia civil war broke out.
Fadumo has master degree in health care and public health, she recently graduated from the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.
Despite receiving death threats for daring to vie for presidency, the mother of four is undeterred in her quest to be Somalia’s first female president.
A lot of Kenyan fashion bloggers have gotten a bad rap of just being pretty girls who take good pics but have nothing much to offer when it come to content or style. Yes there a few out there who have something to offer but most of them have been criticized for being ‘basic’ in their fashion ways.
Perhaps their most vocal critic to date has been Huddah Monroe who thinks that the clothes most of these fashion bloggers wear are only good for their villagers and the walking dead.
Here is her full rant as seen on one of her social media accounts:
“It is funny that 99% of fashion bloggers in Kenya know ZERO About fashion. You are a fashion blogger but I can’t hack any of your outfits even for a funeral. I don’t know who these Kenyan fashion bloggers dress tho. The walking dead? Coz none of their outfits are impressive
You think if you dress your villagers you are already an award winning fashion blogger? LMFAO! 99% of you are jokes, Check out songs of Styles, Sidney fashion blogger e.t.c.
Fashion is not a 2 piece crop top and skirt. Fashion is not wedges and a maxi. Fashion bloggers go out of their way. Out of the ordinary and make magic.
SMH! 99% of Kenyan fashion bloggers are a disappointment to the fashion world.
Kaveke was fashion…and some other old school ladies, not these wannabees.
I’m out.
You can’t find anything impressive on these so called fashion blogger posts, and on their BIO they are Award winning…What did you win? Dressing your villagers? SMH “ she wrote.
She then went on to reveal why she was disgruntled with the Kenyan crop of fashion bloggers.”This came out coz I was look ling for an outfit to wear for a very high end event. And the award winning fashion bloggers have nothing to offer. Misplaced awards. I would rather give a mtumba guy an award coz they know what is kupiga look. Sio hi ufala mko nayo kwa IG!” she concluded.
For some people, getting famous is a constant struggle and a full time job. And they have been forced to do the unthinkable for just a moment in the spotlight. But for others, fame just came their way without even lifting a finger.
Here is a portion of a few Kenyans who effortlessly became famous after becoming an Internet sensation. Some of them have vanished into oblivion but others are still famous.
1. Jane Anyango Adika
After the aggressive Nyando floods swept away her possessions in 2012, Jane Adika became a countryside sensation for her ‘serikali saidia’ cry.
3 years later, the flood victim found reprieve from poverty after Kisumu Governor Jack Ranguma appointed her as the Kisumu Disaster Preparedness Ambassador and Safaricom picked her for an ad.
2. Bonoko
His is truly a story of grass to grace. When Bonoko shared a witness account of how a suspected thug was killed in Ngara, he had no idea that he would become an Internet sensation.
But a few years later, he is a notable radio presenter on Ghetto Radio and has appeared in a Safaricom advert.
3. DJ Nakumatt
What started as visibly drunk ‘old’ man remixing songs from different genres and entertaining villagers became an internet sensation after Kenyans fell in love with his ‘Deejaying’ skills.
After blogs highlighted his story, he was featured on Churchill Show and Nakumatt launched a hunt for him. What transpired between the DJ and the supermarket chain is still unknown .
4. Linda Okello
The cop unconsciously brought sexy back to the police force after a photo of her enviable rump surfaced online. With that picture, Linda Okello automatically became a household name and an internet sensation.
The last we heard about Linda Okello was that she was demoted after getting busted at Kirigiti area in Kiambu receiving a bribe.
5. Alice Wambui a.k.a the ‘Kifi Kifi’ Woman
Alice, a mother of 8 kids became an internet sensation after her hilarious account of how a drunk police officer was frog marched to the police station after trying to force a woman on to a motorbike which she pronounced as ‘kifi kifi’
Following the video taken by NTV, Alice became and internet sensation and a local celebrity and was soon featured on Safaricom’s Storo Ibambe advert campaign alongside Bonoko, Adika and Kasarani Witnesser.
Bungoma county is back in the news. As is with mot previous cases it is as a result of something pretty extraordinary and even a first.
A man from Bungoma Ken Wafula rode an old but trusty black mamba from his home in Kanduyi Bungoma all the way to Lodwar to watch a football match. Ken Wafula say he is a football fan and a diehard supporter of his local secondary school team Bukembe High School which is participating in the regional games there.
He basically travelled a disntance of about 400 Kilometers and according to him in just a day. He left Bungoma on Sunday morning and by evening he was at Kainuk Township in Turkana where the police at the point would not let him pass forcing him to wait and get to the main Town Lodwar on Monday morning. He took about 27 hours.
You may think he had anything special but Wafula only had 20 ‘Kangumus’ and three liters of water through the whole rough and tiring terrain. His endurance, skill and strength can sure see him on quite a good level in the Tour De France. The school has promised to take him back on their bus on the return journey.
Here is the new Bungoma hero
Apart from Kush Tracey, Kristoff, Nebulazz and Rankaddah which other Kenyan artist is kicking right now? Apart from Sauti Sol of course? None right?
Now what if I told all these stars I highlighted above and so many more in the Biggest Kenyan recording label will be coming together led by their CEO Rapdamu for one hell of a show dubbed Pacho Party scheduled to happen at club romours, CBD this coming Thursday, would you believe me? Now what if I also told you that you don’t need to part with anything just to be part of this massive party?
Well it’s happening alright and it’ll be hosted by Funny man and number 1 party host Obinna who will be taking care of your entertainment needs for the night.
A polite plot for a Thursday if you ask me and considering they will be dropping some new exclusive jams in the process, this has to the best place to dance away the cold. Plus you can never go wrong with a Pacho party they constantly keep reminding us.
About 2 years ago Adelle Onyango and Willy Paul had what kids nowadays call an ‘epic tweef.’
This was after Willy Paul called Adelle Onyango a lesbian on national radio after she rejected his advances.
Adelle defended herself of course and took to social media calling him a ‘basic mitch’ and urging him to take his publicity stunts elsewhere’.
See Also:Kiss 100’s Adelle Onyango Tears Willy Paul A New One For Allegedly Calling Her A Lesbian
What resulted was some intense bullying by Willy’s fans where Adelle was called nasty names and even told some hateful things like ‘she looked like she got AIDS after getting raped’ . Yes, people actually went there.
Following this beef, Adelle and Willy Paul have never spoken again, but things changed today when Adelle and Shaffie called him up. Shaffie urged them to ‘kiss and make-up’ to which Adelle replied “We will not kiss, but we will make-up” but Willy Paul jokingly said “Nitakumunju tu…”
Listen to the conversation below :
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It’s been one hell of a roller coaster for Kenyans in the past few weeks. It all started a week ago when Israel’s Prime minister visited the country and caused a massive traffic snarl for a whole two days leaving everyone disgruntled and in dismay. This however didn’t last long because India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi also came through, bearing good tidings which washed away the bad mood that had engulfed us.
Now before this could finally sink in, we’re sad again and Ethiopia has everything to do with it. Apparently they have pulled out of the lappset deal following in the footsteps of Uganda. According to them, they were not in the deal in the first place.
This is heartbreaking and frightening. Are we loosing the hold we have always had on East Africa? Are we losing our charm and macho? I don’t know but all I know this is something worth being deliberated on and discussed in the length. In entails a walk to the bar or better still a short vacation. If that’s your plan, then let’s meet in Magadi on the 6th of August and discuss where to take this country.
What will it take? For only Ksh 14,500, you get transport to and fro including a train ride from Kajiado to Magadi, A two man camping tent, mattresses, pillows and beddings, Full Board meals and breakfast: Lunch, BBQ Dinner, and Breakfast. Wait, there is more. Magadi conservancy Entrance fees, Mineral drinking water and snacks in the train. These don’t forget are to be accompanied by a Mugithi Live Event ticket and we can finally get demystify this long held assumption about Mugithi nights.
After such an eventful event, you want to relax and unwind, you know rest easy. Does swimming come off as a great remedy for that? Of course it does so your 14,500 again secures you access to Magadi Sports club where you can get to enjoy a swim amid other co-curricular activities.
I know it’s pretty tempting so you are probably wondering if they have special offers just in case you decide to tag along all your friends. Guess what? They actually do. If you are 10 people for example, you get a live goat, barbeque spot and a Maasai chef.
Don’t let me tell no more, I’m just a messenger so log into Magadi Adventures and learn more.
When news broke out that USIU were going to have a protest, many were surprised and even did not expect the protest to take place.
It was with good reason because this was going to be about just the second protest at the institution and hardly anyone remembers what the first one was for. Jokes were made about how they will show up with selfie sticks and high heels. Well, the protest did happen this morning and it was in quite a class you would think going by the Kenyan protests tradition that this was not a protest just a march marking an event.
The whole school was there from the Vice Chancellor, Professors and the students and even some alumni. They came organized complete with an ambulance and a band to boot. The placards were orderly and even Manu Chandaria joined the protest march from USIU to Muthaiga Police Station. Even rowdy protesters like Boniface Mwangi were orderly and had time for that selfie moment.
Here are the photos
He’s one of the most recognizable VIP faces across the World. Besides having a knack for making obvious blunders,and incarcerating his political enemies,he’s also more infamous for bungling pretty much every election he’s held for decades. And also,for being one of the Presidents who’ve served for the longest time across the World.
He’s also a no-nonsense political behemoth who has studiously refused to step down or accept defeat,violently crushing any dissent and firmly holding on to the reigns of power,controlling every aspect of the nation and becoming a ubiquitous figure across Uganda.
He’s President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni. A man that doesn’t need much introduction and a man that entertains little opposition.
He does what he wants. When he wants and no amount of pressure – international or regional – has ever stood in his quest to totally vanquish his foes and deify himself across the Land Of The Many Hills.
A former guerilla warrior,and a man with vast knowledge on how to usurp power and keep it,Museveni strides across the African political corridors like a colossus,feared and admired in equal measure,loathed and loved in equal measure.
Nothing fazes him. Nothing stands in his way. And surely,nobody questions him. Or his oft-controversial statements and moves.
He’s the man who will insult Luos to their faces during a Migingo Island standoff. And a man who will,while addressing Kenyans from their own stadium in Nairobi,call Pokots and Samburus thieves who have stolen his cows.
He chuckles after every one of his many verbal gaffes. And the World chuckles along… Irrespective of how disrespectful or insulting his statement was.
Enigmatic to the core,and powerful beyond compare,He is Museveni. Or Ssebo. Or M7 according to social media.
And so yesterday,this sphinxlike doyen of African politics was on a little trip from the Western part of Uganda,in Isingiro village to be precise,when he received a phone call – An urgent call that needed urgent attention.
And what happened next blew up Twitter. And shook Facebook,opening up a can of memes that are,to this minute,still Trending.
09.35am : President Is Leaving Isingiro
The motorcade is cruising along Kyeirumba road,in Isingiro district at a speed of 110 Kilometers per hour. It’s like twenty six cars all of which are ferrying the President,his press team,his aides,his boys,his papers,his security,his food,his soldiers,his family,his secretaries,his traditional yams,his suitcases,his extra pair of socks,his hats,his shoes,his books and his chair. Yes, chair. The vehicles are shuttling down Kyeirumba road in breakneck speed. The road has been cleared for the Big Man. He is riding in a black,suave Land Cruiser V8 that is between some twenty other cars. Mzee is sitting at the back left of the V8. He’s from some conference and he’s tired. Mzee is actually sipping some traditional Ugandan tea and biting some mandazi. He’s trying to initiate a friendly conversation with his driver who is too scared to talk along. Or laugh with the Big Man. There’s only four people in his car. Mzee,his driver and two heavily-armed soldiers. There are more soldiers in the other cars behind mzee. The Big Man is now done with Chai and maandazi. “Pass me the newsipaper Kasingiro…” Mzee says to his aide. He’s passed the New Vision newspaper. Mzee sinks his head into it. “Oh Besigye is goin-i to be released today? I didn’t even know! Good luck to the poor gentoroman….” He says and laughs. His driver tries to laugh and put on a serious face at the same time.
09.47am…Mzee Falls Asleep
Like I said,Mzee is tired. He’s from a World Population conference and they made his sit up all day and make a twenty-hour speech. But Mzee likes talking. And all of his speeches are usually full of blunders and ignorances. He likes to be funny and annoying. Now, the Big Man is tired. And he tells his aides so. “Kasingiro… I’m tired. I need to take a nap. Don’t drive too fast Karutunda, I’m tryn-i to catch a nap… He he he” he say and chuckles to himself. And then the Big Man slips away… Into a deep slumber. Karutunda,the driver,is now driving less faster. Mzee is at the back left of the black armored Land Cruiser napping away. He doesn’t want to disturb Mzee. Or knock potholes and wake up the Big Man. “Priiiss close that window Kasingiro…” Karutunda the driver says to one of Mzee’s security men. Mzee needs to feel warm. Doesn’t need to have the wind blowing across his old face while he’s trying to catch a nap. And dream about how to jail Besigye next. Mzee is now snoring. Kasingiro wants to take a selfie. But he also wants to stay alive. So,to hell with the selfie.
10.08am – Villagers Line Up The Road
At around the Isingiro Market,the poor villagers of the region are now starting to line up the road in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the Big Man. From one end of the road to the other, villagers are piling up. Most of them look like they’ve spent the last sixteen days on an empty stomach. And the rest look like they survive on monkey soup. These are villagers. Poorly dressed villagers who,from a far,look like a the cast of the Walking Dead. But they love the Big Man. Even though they cannot really tell what the Big Man has ever done for them. For the last 30 years. “Your Ekisellency… Your Ekisellency…. Villagers want to greet you…. Your Ekisellency….” Kasingiro whispers to the Old Man who is now snoring. “Wake him apu priiss….” Kasingiro tells his fellow security guy Byarugamba. “No… You wake him up…” Byarugamba tells Kasingiro. Finally,Karutunda the driver takes up the challenge. He decides to wake The Big Man up himself. Big Man wakes up. “Is everything oraiti??” The Big Man asks, rubbing his eyes and straightening his suit. “Yes Your Ekisellency…. Yes…. It is… It’s just that the villagers are lining up the road-i. They want-i to wave at you Your Ekisellency…” Byarugamba mutters. “Oh! They are already here? Fine! Open-i up the roof… Let me see my people he he he…” Big Man says and laughs. The roof of the Black Land Crusier V8 is quickly opened up. Big Man steps on the foot stool in the car. He lifts his head high and slowly sticks his old body out of the roof of the car, “Ssebo…. Seebooooo” the villagers yell,clapping and cheering. Big Man waves at them and laughs at how malnourished they look. “Kyeirumba Hoyyeeeee” the Big Man roars. Villagers go bonkers. They scream themselves silly. Women almost catch a seizure. “Hoooooiiiyeeeee” the poor villagers cluttered around each other like wild puppies holler back. Big Man is done with the greetings. Remember he’s tired. He needs to wiggle back into his seat. And wave from the window instead. Villagers can’t stop screaming. Mama Bushongere is almost removing her clothes. The scene is total chaos.
10.49am – The Phone Call
Museveni does not travel with his mobile phone. It has its own special car in the entourage to ferry it around. The Big Man does not need a silly little gadget ringing around him the whole time. He’s a busy man. And mostly,an old sleepy man. The only thing ringing in his head is usually the next election. Not some silly little ka-mobile phone. Created by white people. So,as the motorcade passes across Isingiro district,some VIP decides to call the Big Man. The phone is in the other car. A blue Mercedes Benz that is carrying ONLY four things – The Big Man’s secretary,the Big Man’s Nokia mobile phone ,the Big Man’s charger and the Big Man’s chair. And of course,a driver. So,as Namusonga is busy minding her business,she notices the Big Man’s phone ring. Quickly she uses her own phone to call Karutunda. “Tell His Ekisellency that his mobile phone isi ringing…. It’s a Very Important Call…. Tell him NOW. PLEASE!” Namusonga, the Secretary says to the President’s Chief security. “Your Ekisellency…. You have an Important Phone Call… It has been declared Very Important-i Sir!” Karutunda says to the Big Man. “Tell them-u I am busy. The President is busy. He will call them-u back later….” Big Man says to Karutunda. Karutunda tells Namusonga that the Big Man is busy. And that he will call back. Namusonga almost goes crazy. “Karutunda! Do you know who is calling?!! Karutunda priiss! Ask the President-i to kindly priss pick this call. It’s urgent and powerful!” Namusonga pleads. “Your Ekisellency…. It’s a very powerful call Your Ekisellency Sir!” Karutunda begs the Big Man. Big man is now getting pissed and impatient. He stops waving at the villagers and asks for the windows to be rolled up. “Who is this?? Who is that that cannot wait-i for the President-i to call them-u back? Is it The Pope? Or Obama!” the President snaps at his aides. Quickly,Kasingiro the driver is asked to stop the car. All other cars are signaled and asked to immediately STOP. “Your Ekisellency… Let’s stop some three more kilometers ahead… For your own safety…” Byarugamba says. And some three kilometers ahead,they stop at a safe, lonely road with no people and no commotion and no noise. “Ask Namusonga to bring me the phone… Tell her to hurry up prisss…” Big Man orders his men. All the cars have now stopped.
11.23am – The Phone Call
All the drivers have been asked to pull over. The Big Man needs to make an important phone call. Namusonga rushes out of the blue Mercedes Car with the Nokia phone tightly clutched in her arms. President’s security men have all jumped from their cars and positioned themselves around the whole area. Civilian cars are being ordered to turn around and drive back. Villagers are now being chased away. It’s a critical time. And it’s a sensitive place for the Big Man to be. All the men traveling with the Big Man are worried stiff. What’s going on!? Why have we stopped? Who might be calling the Big Man? This is so weird! They are thinking to themselves. But this is Yoweri Museveni we are talking about. The Most Powerful Man in East Africa. Namusonga brings over the phone to the Big Man’s car. Karutunda picks it up and passes it to the Big Man. The President almost collapses upon seeing who is calling him. Surely,this is an important call. It’s a dangerously important call. He must pick it up. He’s going to risk his life and time for this call. “The Chair! Quick! Get me the chair!” Big Man roars. “Get the chair! Quickly!” Byarugamba orders Namusonga who runs like a crippled warthog to grab the President’s chair. Everyone is wondering what’s going on. Why is the Big Man asking for a chair? Where does he want to sit? Just who is calling the Big Man? The whole entourage is bewildered. Namusonga brings over the chair quick. It’s quickly unfurled and placed by the road side. The Big Man steps off the powerful Land Rover V8 and walks towards the chair. Mobile phone in his hand. “Dial this number for me…” He orders Karutunda. Karutunda dials a number. The President picks up the phone. This call is the Most Important Call the Big Man has ever made. It’s a history-making call. He sits on the chair. And says, “Hello Margaret….”
Margaret??? WTF???? Who is Margaret? What is Margaret? Who has ever heard of Margaret? His whole entourage is now wondering….
(TO BE CONTINUED)
Lebogang Brenda Motsumi is an aspiring Social Entrepreneur and social worker who has become and international sensation for her brave stand on HIV.
She contracted the virus at 17 years after dating a famous Kwaito singer who wasted away before her very own eyes. The said Kwaito star knew he was HIV positive and deliberately infected Brenda and others as he didn’t want to die alone.
She describes having unprotected sex with this guy as ‘the worst mistake of her life’ , but she is not letting HIV Bring her down.
“ I am NOT HIV, I am LIVING with HIV. I am not the virus, the virus lives in me.I am not defined by HIV, but I define HIV.” Is perhaps one of Lebogang’s most famous quote a quote that has been shared widely on social media.
Though revealing your HIV status is not something many people do, Lebogang reckoned that it was important to have this kind of conversation.
Speaking to People’s Magazine in South Africa, Lebogang said “ The reason I decided to disclose my HIV status was because I wanted to help and change a lot of lives, especially those of young people. I feel that the only motivational HIV speakers are much older and we young people cannot relate to their stories nor can we listen to their advice on how to live a positive and healthy life because of the age difference. My target market is young people infected and affected with HIV, and those who are still uneducated when it comes to the virus.
Additionally, I’m working on opening a foundation with five other young people infected and affected with the virus. This foundation will strictly be working with the youth. The vision is “WE ARE THE YOUTH FOR THE YOUTH”. Our main focus is HIV/AIDS, but we also look at all issues that are affecting the youth, for example, substance abuse, teen pregnancy and rape. Fighting the stigma and discrimination towards infected youth is our mission. We also have workshops running at school where we train some of the learners to be peer educators. The aim is to leave them with something they can also work with and pass on to others.”
Brenda Wairimu and Juliani’s daughter is growing up pretty fast to the excitement and delight of her mother.
Brenda Wairimu who gets to host the Mommy 101 show on Ebru television has been sharing the moements when she and her 18 year old daughter get to recite and count together and it is really wonderful and quite a beauty to hear the two.
She has finally cut down the kids braids. There is no doubt Brenda is really digging the motherhood responsibilities. Here are the two having fun, the daughter’s effort will leave you pining for a kid.
Well, it seems that Akothee’s hunger for publicity has landed in trouble. You might remember how the singer who happens to be the living, breathing embodiment of Oscar Wilde’s maxim, “If there’s one thing worse than being talked about, it’s not being talked about”, posted photos of herself in a wedding dress kissing a mzungu guy. We all thought she had gotten married but she later came out to deny this claim saying that those were just video shoot photos. The guy she was kissing was not her real man. Apparently, all this has not gone down well with her real european fiancé who has more jealousy than the biblical Cain. As a result, he has severed ties with her and called off the engagement.
“I was convinced that I had found my soulmate, my kindred spirit, the woman I could grow old with and have more babies with,” Akothee’s fiance said. More babies? Doesn’t she have enough already? Anyway, he continued “Then, out of nowhere, I come across these photos of her kissing another man. When I saw her doing this yet she hadn’t asked for permission, I knew it was over. I can’t tolerate such kind of disrespect as a man”
Akothee’s devastated lover said he was repulsed by the sight of his lover locking lips with another fella. “It made me sick.”
“It struck me that this kind of reckless behavior could be a foreshadowing of things to come. There are things I can fathom and things I can’t” he fumed.
Despite these strong reservations, Akothee’s fiancé said he “remained in deep denial for several days.”
“I tried to make it work, I tried to tell myself that maybe the old Esther would give a solid explanation but she didn’t so I didn’t think I could wait it out.”
When I tried to contact Akothee, she simply said , “Pili pili yakwashia nini?”
The charismatic Luo songstress must have come back to my senses because she later called me back and said the sudden breakup had left her devastated, confused, and “so depressed I can’t eat.”. So sad for the woman who has become the poster girl for go-getting. Akothee’s parents who were hoping to receive lots of cars and money from the mzungu guy’s family as part of the dowry settlement are now distraught
Reached for comment on whether he could forgive her, Akothee’s fiancé said: “It’s too bad she didn’t display a little bit of that self-discipline earlier… We might still be together today”
All this is according to my dreams last night. Kenye nilivuta kabla nilale ndio sijui. Thanks for paying attention though. You’ve been pranked. If you are getting the craving to beat me up for wasting a few minutes of your life, tupatane hapo nje.
Note: This is a satirical article, Etemesi shall not be held responsible for any feelings caught by the reader
She is not afraid of being trolled, Caroline Mutoko’s mission was to hammer home an inflammatory message to the people of Meru.
Meru region is known for the growth of miraa, the green gem that has been the backbone of the Mount Kenya region for decades.
Most of the miraa grown in Meru is usually exported to other areas in Kenya and abroad. But the European Union closed its door on miraa from Kenya leaving farmers in agony of exploring other markets.
That’s where Caroline Mutoko came in handy with a brilliant idea; stop growing miraa altogether as no one in Europe or America is going to buy it.
Caroline wants miraa farmers to start growing cannabis or at least she’s calling on Meru legislators to champion the legalization of bhang in Kenya.
Caroline’s defended her hard-hitting message saying Meru politicians were not sincere with the electorates to tell them to change to another type of cash crop farming like bhang, since the West was banning miraa consumption.
“Your days of miraa are OVER. Let me say this again. Am not a politician, it’s not my job to lie to you but the days of selling miraa are over. But there is a new day, it’s called marijuana, it’s also call bhang, weed, pot… sell it!!” Caroline advised miraa farmers.
Watch Caroline hammer the message home to Meru people in the video below:
Sheila Manyigha lost her job at NTV late last year after dedicating more than a whole decade to the Kimathi Street-based media corporation.
Word on the street is that Sheila and other Nation F.M presenters were sent packing since Nation Media could no longer sustain term due to financial constraints.
But losing her job was a blessing in disguise as she dedicated her free time to something she has always wanted to do, to create a magazine.
Together with her team, Sheila has been able to bring ‘Rembesha’ Magazine to life. Rembesha is Kenya’s first digital and print magazine, which showcases the latest in hair and beauty.
And Rembesha is already making waves as it won the award for the best magazine at this year’s Kenya Hair and Beauty Contest
Following her win, Sheila wrote this message
Venture out and create the dreams you have! I’ve always wanted to create a magazine, and here I am with Rembesha Kenya a digital and print, hair and beauty magazine. We won an award for best magazine at this year’s Kenya Hair And Beauty Contest and I am so grateful and thankful to Team Rembesha, the salons and product providers who are working with us!
Artists and friends of the celebrated gospel musician Gloria Muliro are coming together to support her following her bereavement.
Gloria lost her father on Sunday and broke the sad news to her fans. Now the family and friends are preparing for the burial with arrangement plans on going at the PCEA St Andrews Church. Here is the message sent from the family informing the public of the plans.
#TeamGloriaMuliro : See you at PCEA St. Andrews Church located near University of Nairobi hostels (Main Campus) today evening as from 5 PM to 8 PM. All your favorite artists will be present to facilitate the fundraising process. Feel free to send your contribution to MPESA number 0720548193 (Timothy Kwabi). #Comeasyouare. #Weweniwamaana
We pray that the singer and her family emerge even stronger and are at peace during this time.
What makes a good DJ? Is it the hype? The skill set or the marketing strategy? But perhaps it’s the passion? The persistence? What is it exactly? And does the ability to make you nod your head to some really cool jams while sitting at the counter of some swanky bar thinking about life count?
Because this Tee bone guy was really doing it for me when I was chilling at Kiza lounge last night. I needed to clear my head and being Jazz night at the place, I decided to make a stop by, to think about life while sipping some whiskey and listening to good music.
I wasn’t disappointed trust me. Chris Bitok really held it down for me with his prowess on the saxophone and being complemented by Atemi on the vocals, it was like heaven in my ears. Just the kind of relaxation you need on a Tuesday trust me.
And when the drink kicks in and you want to jiggle a little bit before going home and facing yet another day in Nairobi. This DJ Tee bone just did for me. He started me off with some cool jams from the 80’s getting me in the mood before playing some brandy and some Usher from the 90’s making sure I was warmed up proper.
And just when I thought the high was over, there he synchronized Wizkid and a little bit of Davido making sure I was gone. Too bad I had to work today, I have a feeling I would have left the lounge at 4 Am in the goddamn morning.
Anyway, the point I’m trying to put here is that this guy is a really good DJ and needs to be out there a bit more, he’s got incredible talent. I wonder if reads Ghafla, hmmm because he really needs to start doing something and I mean like from yesterday.
Yesterday Museveni proved once again to be the top newsmaker in Uganda and one of the most intriguing presidents in Africa.
A few days after causing some sizeable embarrassment while receiving the Israel Prime Minister, the president out of nowhere decided to have Besigye released. This got him trending but not before he pulled of the stunt to sit on a road side and make a phone call for about 30 minutes.
The above phone call was quickly adopted into a challenge and the creative minds online came up with a number of hilarious and naughty memes. Here is a sample of some of the crazy ones
Johnson Sakaja is the perfect poster boy for the youth in politics.
He is eloquent, ladies fancy his looks, he sure can sell a vision, can entertain a different opinion, energetic and all that you would want to look for in a leader. Having weathered several storms and pitfalls, he always emerges the better off. One of the things that have seen him create clout is his charm and ability to mingle and it seems it is something he does straight from home with his two children.
The first time parliamentarian has proven to be an adept dad with his two sons he always like having fun time with. Here are the lovely pictures showing father and son’s moments. His sons sure take after the daddy from his appetite to liveliness
Reality shows ride on relationship drama, controversy and money. No one tunes in to watch positivity and that is why Ella and Nairobi Diaries were not a great fit.
For the ardent viewers of Nairobi Diaries, you have noticed that in season 2, Ella avoided controversy like a plague and instead decided to focus on being positive and upping up her body confidence.
Well, that kind of thing was not allowed to fly as positivity is not very good for reality TV ratings and that is when the producers asked Ella to up the ante when it came to the drama. But Ella was not up for it and so she left.
In a conversation with one of the Ghafla people Ella said that the producers of Nairobi Diaries wanted scandal and she couldn’t give them that because she prefers to uplift people and not to bring them down.
And she didn’t want scandal and malice to be part of her brand.
A former TV presenter shook up social media after she revealed that Nameless’ and Wahu’s Marriage was purely ceremonial and we should not be fooled by their lovey-dovey acts.
“ Whose your best Kenyan couple? Post a pic and please don’t say Nameless & Wahu *rolling my eyes* the whole world knows that’s a long time DEAD relationship just for showbiz and for appearances! I can just tell Nameless & Wahu are so over one another hata siwezi kuwa surprised if they sleep in separate bedrooms kwao!!!” part of Elizabeth Irungu’s post read .
A post that has since gone viral with various blogs picking it up .Following this disclosure, Wahu has taken to social media to prove that her marriage is alive and kicking and that she and Nameless are partners for life.
When love turns sour for filthy rich couples, dejected sweethearts usually embark on a mission to milk dry their partners. This quagmire has befallen Sports CS Hassan Wario.
Divorce suits involving the high and mighty have shocked Kenyans as shocking revelations about sex, infidelity, violence, money etc, are usually exposed to the public.
Former Chief Justice Willy Mutunga, Transcend Media Group owner Michael Njeru and now Sports Cabinet Secretary Hassan Wario have had their dirty linen aired in public in divorce suits.
The ex wives of the above prominent persons demanded insane sums of money as upkeep not forgetting they accused their ex spouses of uncouth behaviors.
For Mutunga, his ex wife, Prof Beverle Michele Lax, accused him of denying her conjugal rights among other things. She demanded payment of Kes 150,000 a month in maintenance from her ex hubby.
Mutunga filed the divorce in December 2009, nine years after he married her. The ex CJ accused her of cruelty in the lawsuit.
Another tycoon embroiled in a divorce case is Michael Njeru. Njeru’s ex wife, Anne Evelyn Wambui, wants the court to order him to pay her Kes 1.3 million as upkeep every month and a further Kes 3.3 million as school fee for their children.
Wambui also wants Kes 10 million as insurance cover plus a court order restricting Michael Njeru from accessing their home.
Also Read: Stinking Rich Nairobi Tycoon Michael Njeru To Be Arrested Upon Returning Home From Mozambique
Sports Cabinet Secretary Hassan Wario is also suffering the same fate like Mutunga and Njeru. Wario’s ex wife, Kaltum Dima Guyo, has taken him to court demanding Kes 400,000 as her monthly upkeep.
Ms Guyo had initially sued Wario in a court in England but the Sports CS ignored to file responses prompting her to file the matter before a Kenyan Constitutional Court.
Wario and Ms Guyo got married in Kenya, never sired children and consented to a divorce before the Supreme Court in UK in 2012.
She wants the court to compel Wario pay her Kes 400,000 as monthly upkeep which include; 150, 000 for rent, 50,000 for food, 50,000 for medical expenses, 50,000 for entertainment and 25,000 for utility.
World’s youngest Nobel Prize laureate Malala Yousafzai is jetted into the 254 to celebrate her 19th birthday in Northern Kenya.
For starters, Malala won Nobel Prize in 2014 aged 17 for her activism for female education in Pakistan. Her resilience in advocating for female education saw her get shot in the head by terrorist group, Taliban, which was against women education in Pakistan.
The Pakistani youth activist jetted into the country yesterday to visit refugees at Dadaab camp as she also celebrated her 19th birthday.
The visit to Daadab is seen as a kind gesture to the Kenyan government to change its intended decision of closing the camp.
Daadab camp is the world’s largest refugee camp hosting over 300,000 refugees mainly from the war-torn Somalia.
Kenyan government’s plan to close Daadab by 2017 has sparked fears in the international community as the refugees will be forced to return to Somalia which is still overwhelmed by conflict.
See photos of Malala at Daadab below:
Tracy Wanjiru is among the current beautiful crop of hosts who bring the whole package on the table and are attracting respect from both the older and younger audience.
Her looks and charm and her interaction gift with her audience have seen her make a popular TV host for Teen Republik and also quite a popular events MC. In quite a lengthy and exclusive discussion with Ghafla she did reveal a couple of pointer s and most interesting was how she relates and handles all the admirers that flock her way.
Surprisingly she is quite outgoing and not too choosy but a number of things can put her off. She shared some of the mistakes men make when approaching her while also revealing just what you can do to get that phone number. She is not a shy one and she will let you know if she is feeling your vibe.
So guys take notes, this is what she shared
Vinnah Morangi, 21, and Valerie Wangari, 20, were killed in the fatal accident that occurred on the Kisii- Kilgoris road last week.
Vinnah was a third year Mass Communication student at Kenyatta University while Valerie was a first year student pursuing Bachelor of Arts in Education in the same varsity.
The body of the deceased were taken from Hema hospital mortuary yesterday and ferried to their home at Nyamataro village, Kitutu Chache South, Kisii County for an overnight stay.
Vinnah and Valerie were today laid to rest after a funeral service which was held at St Joseph’s Nyabururu grounds.
The deceased mother, Rachael Muthiga, is now left with a son only after she lost her two daughters in the tragic accident.
See photos of the funeral service below:
Vinnah and Valerie
Photo credit: Courtesy
At the moment, everything Kenyan seems to be trendy like hot cake.
Whether it is the country attracting top heads of states, celebrities and trade summits or its athletes dominating abroad, Kenya is on the news. Now there is another new attraction, the Swahili classic songs. Since the days of Malaika by Fadhili Williams, Swahili classic have proved an attractive catch for renditions and covers world over.
Today a new rendition of a praise song that used to be popular long before the Bahati- Willy Paul axis happened on the local scene has taken everyone by surprise. Not only is the song retouched in such an interesting and ethereal way, it is the fluency by which the choir have done it that has captured the feelings of many. The group is Gracias Choir from South Korea. They are visiting Kenya and performing at Moi Stadium 24th~29th. You would think they were doing it with in their first language
About a month ago, a delirious Ray C was huddled into a police van, screaming and talking incoherently after causing a scene in Kinondoni area is Dar es Salaam
The reason why Ray-C was in this unhinged state was that she had gone back to abusing drugs.She was later taken back to the Rehab, Life and Hope Rehabilitation Centre, in Bagamoyo, Dar es Salaam to receive treatment.
We sat down with Eddy Kenzo of the ‘Sitya Loss’ Fame to get his thoughts on the incident that was captured in a viral online video.
“When you become a star, there are people who get close to you and they are the ones that make celebrities go crazy like that.” he said.
An earlier photo of Ray-C and Tanzanian rapper Lord Eyez who introduced her to drugs
“Another thing is that the industry comes with too much pressure that is not good. Don’t put yourself under pressure. You have to learn to chill as an artiste. You don’t have to have a hot song everyday, chill. Spending a year without a hit song doesn’t mean that you are a failure. Most of these artistes put themselves under a lot of pressure and end up taking drugs which make them crazy.” He said.
He then went to talk about Albert Mangwea aka Mangwair who died of a drug overdose about 3 years ago.
Mangwea and M to the P before they passed away
“I used to live with Mangwea back in South Africa and he was under a lot of pressure so he used to drink a lot and use a lot of drugs including cocaine. So as they planned for a trip back to Tanzania, Mangwea and a fellow artiste (M to the P) decided to get high on cocaine and they overdosed and passed away .” he said before urging his fellow artistes to stay at the top of their games but they should not let the pressure get to them.
“Ray C and Mr. Nice are still great artistes and it’s sad to see them in their current situation because if they performed here I am sure we would all dance to their music because they are very talented. All they need is our support and the government support to get through their current predicament” He concluded.
A Kenyan journalist based in the U.S. A has caused quite a storm on social media after making some comments that were viewed as inappropriate due to the current political situation in America after the murder of two black men by police officers.
Two awful incidents that were followed by the tragic death of Dallas police officers during a black lives matter protest in Dallas.
Njeri Thomi Kariuki, the CEO of Texas-based Karisan Media Company, made these comments on social media that roused angry emotions from fellow Kenyans in the Diaspora “One time… I was told that I sound like a white woman. The guy was coming to fix my cable connection. He showed up and stated… “damn you’re black!!!” I wanted to kick him out of my house… The other time… I was working as a supervisor at countrywide home loans… and this dude approached me, while being reprimanded for not doing as asked of him, came up to me and stated… ” we black people need to stick together…” I wanted to tell him that I am African and the whole sticking together does not work. I told him that he is as alien to me as the white man… While I feel for the lost souls and RIP to the Dallas Police Officers who lost their lives…
I will not lie to you but tell you that I would think that I feel safer walking towards a group of white males than walking towards African American men. … So do not tell me that African American males are not a concern to your level of safety. I am sorry but that is truth… I do not know how to tell you something different… SOME African Americans, many of them are vicious… Mad love to them but they need to also learn to become better than they are… Again.. I tell of this because it is our reality.”
After a lot of hate on social media, Njeri took to social media to write this “It is fortunate to read hate … I said it clearly… In Diaspora… I have acquaintances.. not friends. I can count friends and they are like 4 of them… Today I received hate mail…Why…. because of my post. I also received 5 calls from people who wanted to justify reason to state what they did… I was also featured on a post… #someometellNjerithomikariuki… what a long hashtag… This will not trend… I am not that popular… But for Diaspora… own YOU… own US…. I am glad am in the receiving end of diaspora hate… I am also good to know that those who write ill of me… are those i dismissed. years ago… 🙂 Wait… Some of you showed up for the first time… because I posted and you disliked it,,, Please do us a favor…. Support our Artists. Support our Kenyan Initiative… Fighting me does nothing… I am not that relevant.. Supporting cause… What a great experience to go through
The former Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka has long been known for his ageless face and physique.
Despite being in the industry for long he does not spot any of the physical signs that show the ravages of time and the political life. Despite being amongst the long serving politicians he looks very much like the youthful lot.
For so many years people have wondered what is the secret behind this with several theories and claims being put forward including him being an ‘illuminati/ devil worshiper’.
Well, today Kalonzo Musyoka has revealed one of the key aspects that has seen him age very gracefully. The answer is simple, working out and staying fit. Kalonzo shared a video of him working out at home using a skipping rope that he handled dexterously.
Mugo Wairimu has refused to follow the path of shamed individuals fading into oblivion and away from the public conscience.
On the contrary, he is busy campaigning to be the MP for Roysambu in the coming general elections. When he is not busy spewing anti-Raila venom and trumpeting his candidature, Mugo Wairimu gets time to tell some of his life experiences and each story always crazier than the preceding ones.
He recently revealed about his time as a mortuary attendant in Chiromo while he was a student at the university. In it Mugo Wairimu narrated how the attendants would profile the corpses based on the tribes and how Kikuyu families were the ones many avoided as they could not easily part with money.
Here is part of the story from the Horse’s mouth
Kikuyus in particular bore the blunt of ethnic profiling and discrimination. The relatives of the bodies of Kikuyus used to be so mean; They could not part with a ten cents for services offered other than the official mortuary fees. None of us wanted to deal with Kikuyu bodies; Kikuyus are neither fearful nor superstitious about death and so they don’t spend on dead bodies. Luos and Luhyas are particularly superstitious; They wanted to receive first class service; They readily parted with handouts so that their bodies would be given “Special Preservation” in “special cabinets”. This was nothing but a money-making gimmick; As soon as the superstitious relatives left the mortuary precincts, ‘their’ body was dragged alongside others and piled on top of others awaiting preservative formalin treatment. In addition Luo and Luhya relatives used to request for additional special services and favors for which they paid handsomely. It was damn lucrative handling Luo or Luhya bodies irrespective of whether they came from affluent or poor families. The body of a very poor Luo previously living in Kibera slums could fetch tens of thousands in viewing fees only, the official mortuary fees aside. The arrival of a Luo or Luhya body was met with some excitement as it was a source of cash. For instance, no female body could be buried with braided hair or with a weave. The relatives feared the bodies and could not touch them or come near them and so we took maximum advantage of their ignorance and superstition. The relatives had to pay us to do the job of either shaving, unbraiding or removing a weave. A ‘shave’ on such a body could fetch between Ksh. 3000.00 and 20,000.00 or even more mostly depending on your negotiation skills. Similarly the arrival of the dead body of a pregnant Luo or Luhya woman signaled the lining of our pockets with bank notes; It was a strict taboo among the two communities to burry such a body with the foetus inside the uterus of the dead woman. The baby(foetus) would have to be removed. That was a clean source of cash as the office had no provisions for such provisions and the mortuary office referred the relatives back to us. The removal of a dead foetus from a woman’s body was typically referred to as a CS, an abbreviation for cesarean section. A CS could fetch between Ksh 10,000.00 and Ksh 30,000.00 again depending on how convincing you were. You can rest assured I was an expert at that… I remember one fine Saturday when I pocketed over 80,000.00 from a ‘CS’ and three ‘shaves‘
A while back the president became the talk of the town after he showed up looking very dapper in military regalia.
Now Hassan Joho the Mombasa governor left the ladies breathless after he showed up in these cool get ups usually reserved for the sultans. Check him out and go gaga ladies.
Friday 1st May witnessed the darkest chapter in Kisii since the year began. 7 lives were lost in a tragic road accident!
Fingers have been pointed as blame game continues following the accident that happened at Etora near Sameta in Bobasi sub-county, Kisii County.
But what has been done cannot be undone; the accident claimed seven lives and spared a single girl who survived mysteriously.
The families of the fallen students and that one of the lone survivor have not only suffered emotionally but have also incurred financial expenses in funeral arrangements and treatment.
The emotional suffering is a bit hard to mitigate but the financial part is easy to cushion. To avoid unforeseen accidents that cost lots of money you need a medical cover, and not just any cover but an insurance cover that cater for everything including funeral.
Imagine you are involved in an accident which you survived but the medical bill is enough to make you sick over and over again.
It’s for this reason that everyone should cushion themselves against nightmares caused by accidents with a good insurance cover like Co-op Medicare.
The good thing about Co-op Medicare is that when you are involved in an accident or when you fall sick, you will not pay any coin or note for that matter, for your medical treatment.
You don’t need to worry about medical bills if you are covered by Co-op Medicare, just recuperate as the bill is taken care for you.
And that’s not enough, Co-op Medicare provides a wide cover as it is available to you and your immediate dependants.
God forbid but incase anything happens to you and you die and you were covered by Co-op Medicare, funeral expenses will be taken care by Co-op Medicare.
You do not have to worry about not having money for treatment in case you fall sick or you are involved in an accident, Co-op Medicare has you sorted.
See more benefits of Co-op Medicare and how you can get covered by Co-op Medicare by clicking the link below:
Just as there is compulsory military training for all men in some countries, it’s high time the government introduced compulsory cooking classes for all Kenyan women. Those that fail should be made to repeat until the recipes stick to their weave-covered heads
Kenya is becoming a hub of fat and ugly feminists who try to belittle the importance of cooking. Instead they try to champion for equal rights. They claim to be enlightened women and wear this distinction like a badge of honor. The hard truth is that the “what a man can do a woman can do better” mantra today’s women squawk about is grossly inaccurate and they all know it. Kenyan men are becoming better than women at just about everything and no amount of social reconditioning or media brainwashing is going to change that.
We are having a crop of women who prepare chapatis that look like 5 bob coins. Women who can’t prepare tea without some of it spilling over to the gas cooker. Women that can actally burn water. Women that weep endlessly while making lethargic attempts to chop an onion but don’t cough even once when puffing waves of shisha
You will have an easier time getting majority of these modern Kenyan chicks to lick your balls than you will getting them to prepare you an omelette.
I am a great cook myself and so are many other Kenyan men. Try as we might to hamster something into existence that Kenyan women can provide us that we can’t provide for ourselves outside of a warm, moist hole, we just can’t think of anything.
Every time I see a chick buying takeout food in tao or in my estate, I can’t help but to snicker to myself and revel in the self awareness(and probably arrogance) that I could probably make the same dish from scratch with no problem.
When I meet a woman who doesn’t know how to prepare simple meals such as ugali and rice, I can’t help but think that somewhere along the line, someone, probably her mother, fucked up. What type of mother would send their daughters into the world not knowing the basic skills needed to feed themselves?
Most of us men don’t need women to cook for us because we can do it ourselves. Don’t get us wrong, we would certainly like for women to cook for us because nothing’s sexier than an attractive woman slaving over a gas cooker for her man. But if she can’t or won’t, we’d be just fine.
Cooking is something that Kenyan women could be better at than men, but because they have no interest in expanding their value outside of their sexual allure, men have become the undisputed kings of the kitchen and the margin continues to widen by the day.
Today’s Kenyan woman is not interested in much other than riding the carousel, or bitching about how they can’t get a wi-fi signal at whatever overpriced coffee shop they’ve been taken to by a fisi. The ancient art of winning a man’s heart – that was once passed down from generation to generation – is dying with the advent of the modern, independent woman. Women nowadays believe that feminism gave them the right to put down their spatula, step on their domesticity and leave the oven to the maids.
THINGS NEED TO CHANGE
I think that women should know how to cook, clean, and keep a halfway decent home. I also think that men should keep a job, pay the bills, and do other manly things — like fixing stuff or changing light bulbs for instance. If a woman isn’t bothered with cooking, don’t bother with taking her seriously.
Still, the government must act. Some form of legislation should be set up to force all women to learn how to prepare basic meals. Things ar getting wors out here.
Hyena attack in Rongai left the country shocked as the body of the victim was mauled in a way that no horror movie could replicate.
A man was mauled to death on Monday June 26th by a hyena in Rimpa, Ongata Rongai.
Also Read: Shock And Horror As Body Of A Man Is Found Mauled In Half By Hyena
The killer hyena was not found as it escaped in time before the break of dawn. Today early morning at around 5:15am a hyena was spotted in Ongata Rongai.
School children heading to Arap Moi Primary School were the first ones to sound the alarm about a hyena freely roaming in the area.
Residents quickly responded to the alarm and launched an operation to trace the carnivore. Boda boda operators found the hyena and killed it before it could cause any more harm.
Photo credit: Kenya Alerts
From their promo images, there have been a lot of changes in Nairobi Diaries. Characters like Gertrude, Marjolein, Ella, Rida and Molly seem to have left the show.
The new cast now includes 4 new characters; Risper Faith, Vanessa Chettle, Luwi Capello (a dancer with Tsunami Dance Crew) and a new lady who goes by the name Hustle Goddess.
Vanessa and company are not new to the limelight but Hustle Goddess is. After doing some digging, here are a few facts we found about the ‘Hustle Goddess’
1. Her real name is Dana de Grazia
2. She is originally from Long Grove, a well-to-do village in Lake County, Illinois, United States.
3. Dana is a huge fan of tattoos as demonstrated by the countless tattoos that adorn her body.
4. She studied at the United States International University (USIU)
5. She is 22 years old.
6. She is racially ambiguous with some saying she is an Italian, others saying she is Latino but she is a white Jew.
7. She once hit a lion as a way to ascertain dominance during her time working with African Lion & Environmental Research Trust (ALERT) an organisation based in Livingstone, Zambia. “I can say that I have hit a lion in the face and survived.” Dana said during an interview with the Daily Herald.
8. Dana has dabbled in pageantry and once took the 1st runner up position in the Miss Life Pageant
Strathmore University has built such a robust and squeaky clean image over the years at times it comes off as too serious a place with no fun.
Even with its teams from rugby to hockey participating in the national leagues and doing pretty well, its stringent rules, imposing infrastructure that’s orderly and split across with lush greens, and quiet atmosphere lend it a solemn feel more like a monastery. However, a photo showing a business ethics exam question for an Actuarial class has changed that view.
This is after the business paper quoted from Kendrick Lamar’s Vanity song in relating to the effects of consumerism for its Compulsory Question. It was a pretty cool act that showed how popular culture can be integrated in the academic set up.
It had to be a cool lecturer and a Kendrick Lamar fan who could set such a question and earn the plaudits of many who came across the paper. Here is the question.
The long wait is finally coming to an end for DJ Pierra Makena. But pains stands between her and joy!
Pierra Makena’s gestation period of 9 months is almost coming to an end, she is just a few days away from welcoming a bundle of joy.
The pregnant DJ is expecting her baby in five days time, which will be anytime on weekend. She hinted the baby she’s carrying could be a boy.
“Me and my baby……..5 days to go. (Edd)” Pierra captioned her photo holding her baby bump.
Now only pain stands between her and her baby. Either way; whether she will be delivering her baby the old fashion way or through cesarean section, she still has to endure pain somehow.