What do you take of a family with all names starting with the same letter? Names looking like they are the same? Isn’t it catchy and touchy?

Well, did you know Mzazi Willy M Tuva’s children? Have you ever seen them? Or did you know that Mzazi has two beautiful kids?

Today we present them to you. They are Tina Tuva and Tanya Tuva. Double T.

The two children make the radio citizen presenter’s wonderful family and the proud father has penned a very emotional message for the two angels.

In his instagram account, Mzazi shared a message of love for his children, narrating how he has missed them dearly and how he is looking forward to meeting them after his Western Kenya tour.

The photo he shared also shows the children missing their dad.

Here is the photo and the message:

“I miss you….. Being away from you makes me feel so lonely. I miss the, “I love you dad,” you guys are my best friends. I love you more than…. I can’t even explain….Wacha niwatengezee future itakayowawezesha kuwatengezea future wajukuu wangu. See you soon Tinya & Tanya : Western Kenya & Rift Valley ni zamu yenu..”

Legislators yesterday traded blows turning parliament into a chaotic wrestle ring; the opposing sides faced off during a heated session when passing the controversial Security Bill 2014.

Gatundu South MP, Moses Kuria is accused of allegedly stripping and punching Mbita member of parliament, Millie Odhiambo, during the tussle in parliament.

Millie disclosed Moses Kuria punched her in the eyes as other MPs pulled her panty and tried to undress her; she revealed she shouted the famous Shebesh’s slap utterance “ayayayaya you have slapped me” after Kuria punched her.

The MP for Mbita further revealed she wasn’t intimidated by her strippers; as a matter of fact, she completed the process for them (undressed for them to see) saying she was fearfully and wonderfully made and had no embarrassment over her body.

Down is what she wrote on Facebook:

Today was a day and a half but am happy we fought against tyranny though we lost partially. Our strategy worked and they don’t even know. In the process notable incidents: My security was disarmed, manhandled and thrown in the cells for a while. Muturi started off the session by reading us the riot act and threatening to send us home for re-elections. We tell him “Go ahead”. Jubilee Mps went and physically attacked senators Muthama, Orengo, Khalwale, Wetangula and Ongera at the public gallery and we repulsed them. We managed a stalemate whole morning. Afternoon they came back better prepared. Many Mps beaten up. I was boxed in the eye by Moses Kuria as one permanent drunk pulled my panty and another two pulled up my dress. But I am not of the ” ayayayaya you slapped me fame!” Moses Kuria amejua why am MP Mbita elected and not appointed. Plus learn, we pride as a people in nakedness Na wamejua. When they tried to undress me I completed the process for them. I can not and will not be intimidated using my sexuality. Anyar gi Mboya, nyakwar nyobiero, nyamin Captain. Ok unyala. One MP had even told us they have to kill one of us. He is ordinarily my friend. I excuse the temporary madness. CORD MPs am so proud of you. If you bear any number 2 to your name. The joke is on you.

 

 

Although slavery is now illegal in all countries, it is still going on especially in the Middle East. I’m sure that you have all watched clips of house helps sent to work in households in the Middle East being beaten for sport, some getting stabbed and others getting badly scalded.

But according to new information that I have received, the situation could be much dire than the clips that make their way back to the country.

A girl by the name Lillian (name changed to protect her identity) has come back for holidays form Lebanon. Yes, she is among the lucky few house helps who get to go on holidays as their employers have been exposed to other cultures and are more tolerant of other human beings who are different from them in terms of religion.
But Lillian is among the lucky few. She tells me that her counterparts are not so lucky, Kenyans are really suffering in the Middle East; they are subjected to rape, religious persecution and murder.

Lillian says that before she jetted off to Lebanon, there was a house where they were held with other house helps. And the stories she was told her made her to want to board the first plane back home.

She met a lady in the toilet who confessed to her that she had been brutally raped about ten times by her employer. Saying that she was just waiting for death because soon she would be following in the footsteps of some of her fellow house helps who were killed some for just being Christians. While telling her this story, the young lady was crying and saying that she was waiting for death since there was no hope. She would soon follow in the footsteps of her comrades who had been brutally murdered and their bodies secretly disposed off in the dead of the night.

Once the helps were killed, the masters store their dead bodies in a refrigerator and got rid of them one by one. And that is why you hear that some Kenyans’ went to the Middle East to work and were never heard of again, chances are that most of them are dead. Their documents destroyed.
If you go looking for your relative or someone that you sent to the Middle East just to find out how they are doing, you will be told that they have gone to look for employment elsewhere. You are told “I released her, she was employed elsewhere but and I don’t know which place she went specifically.”If you hear someone has gotten another employment they are dead. For those who survive rape and death they are forced to convert from Christianity to Islam.

Lillian says in conclusion that “I really hope that the government will take the slavery in the Middle East issue seriously, Kenyans there are really suffering and I hope that  the government to come and rescue them and warn others not to travel for work there.”

And the year is officially coming to a close today; okay maybe for those who have angels as employers. But all in all, when the party starts today, then I’m pretty sure it won’t come to an end until 2^nd Jan 2015.

And what is a party without selfies; this craze that has become part and parcel of our lives? Your guess is as good as mine, not a party at all. Have you however sat and thought that maybe you can get paid basically by taking selfies? No no this is not a Christmas prank.

With the Guinness Get Booked competition, you basically get rewarded for engaging in your favourite past time. All you have to do is take one as you sip a Guinness and send it to the Guinness Facebook page; you stand a chance of winning at least 5000 bob in cash.

And not only that, if you have plans of catching up with football over the weekend and you get spotted by the Guinness crew sipping a Guinness of course, you stand a chance of winning merchandise, 100,000 in cash or a trip to the UK.

Now tell me if that’s not the ultimate Christmas special?

And the most anticipated time of the year is already here with us; it’s Christmas people. And the mood has already started kicking in if the Ghafla office is anything to go by.

My colleagues are jollier, elated and less grumpy. Maybe it’s the chapatis they’re waiting to indulge in or maybe it’s the big derby bound to go down on Sunday night. I know I’m waiting for that, especially being a Liverpool fan. This is the match to redeem ourselves and establish ourselves as title contenders after the thrashing we received last week.

But that is beside the point, what you should be paying attention to is the fact that Sport Pesa is also in the picture; they plan on making sure you celebrate your Christmas in style by awarding you with some cash.

I mean what is Christmas without money and some good money for that matter. All you have to do is log in to their site and make a bet which I deduce might be one of the wisest decisions you make this year considering the odds. This is what I’m talking about;

Time                      Game ID                                  Game of the Day with Odds    

19:00

1953

Liverpool 2.55

3.09

Arsenal 2.30

Assuming I am for a Liverpool win which I am by the way, and I put 2000 bob on it,  this is the much I will make  immediately the match is over 2000X2.53=5,060 (An extra 3,060 bob; which is basically a whole mbuzi) isn’t that fun?

Supposing I’m feeling neutral today because who knows! The Match might end up on a draw so I’m putting 1000 bob. This is the much I will make 1000X3.09= 3,090- now that’s a lot of money from just 1000 bob!

Now here is the complete plot twist if things go the Arsenal way and I had placed a BET worth 500 bob only. This is how much I will make 500X2.30=1,150. Mind you from only 500 bob.

 So there you have it, it can actually get better? Log into www.sportpesa.com and smile your Christmas away.

There are two kinds of celebrities in Kenya. There are those celebrities who demand the spotlight and always want to be the star wherever they go. They are flunked by bodyguards and would ‘catch mafeelings’ if you fail to acknowledge their presence.

They want to be seen entering events with the latest eye-candy in town and when you ask about their new lover, they are more than willing to spill. Even the most scandalous details of their overt affair. The word privacy is gibberish to them and would even fake their own death just to make a dramatic ‘comeback from the dead’.

And the saddest part about it all is that despite their outrageous ways of getting attention, the attention they get is usually fleeting and the public moves on to the next hot thing. And they are left singing:

Then there are those celebrities who are always the center of attention whether they like it or not. While others are busting their behinds trying to get a mention in the blogs, these ones get attention so effortlessly .People love them, people adore them and entertainment writers are always falling over each other trying to get as scoop of their private lives. But are met with a wall, greater than the Great Wall Of China.

And what makes them even more fascinating is that they are A-Listers but people know zilch about their private lives. And one of these women is Caroline Mutoko who keeps her dating life under lock and key.She is part of the clique of celebs that like to keep their lives private, even though they are always under the radar.

But for once, Caroline spills the beans about her first boyfriend on her You Tube Channel.

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She says that her first boyfriend was one Benet Maina whom she grew up with .He was her mum’s tailor’s son whom she describes as a ‘Really cool and sharp guy”

So is this Benet still in the picture you ask? Nope he went to Chicago and she has never seen him again.

 

With over 900,000 vehicles on Nairobi’s roads alone, tailbacks are a common phenomenon to city dwellers. But there is a positive side of those traffic jams.

True to the proverb; one man’s meat is another man’s poison, e-commerce companies have hurried to cash in from the agitated motorists in Nairobi. The perennial traffic jams have driven more Kenyans to on-line shopping.

The fear of getting stuck in traffic jams dotted with thousands of stationary vehicles in a bottleneck entry into the nation’s capital is what has led to the shift in consumer trends as residents move to online shopping.

JUMIA, an e-commerce company which offers an easy, safe and convenient shopping experience to customers with just a click of the mouse, has become the darling of many Nairobians. JUMIA delivers goods purchased by its clients to their door steps; this has attracted lots of people who would otherwise be stuck in traffic jams if they went shopping physically.

Backed by Millicom, MTN and Rocket Internet, JUMIA set base in Kenya eighteen months ago and has grown by double digits with new hubs in Nakuru and Mombasa and a similar move expected for other cities in Kenya. JUMIA, which is part of the Africa Internet Group, spearheads e-commerce in 9 countries across Africa: Kenya, Cameroon, Egypt, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Morocco, Nigeria, Uganda, and Tanzania.

Parinaz Firozi, MD JUMIA Kenya, notes, “Our Nairobi hub is the biggest, the growth is fuelled by many factors but traffic is a major catalyst and the reason why most residents prefer to shop online.”

“Most people shop between 6:00 AM and 9:00 AM on mobile phones and tablets, this time they are certainly stuck in traffic on their way to work. The numbers go down slightly and rise massively over lunch hour until 2:00 PM, most orders are placed via desktops and laptops at this time,” adds Firozi.

The rush hour between 4:00 PM and 8:00 PM is what Firozi calls the ‘crazy hours’ when the orders and website traffic hits peak from mobile phones, tablets, desktops and laptops. However, neither is JUMIA immune to the traffic dilemma, delivery vans also get stuck in traffic, which can result in a delayed delivery, a challenge Firozi says the company solves with ‘’increased number of riders and offline pick-up points.”

The fear of buying counterfeit products online or products of varying quality than those on site, as well as sharing personal information and credit card safety issues remain the major challenges for online shopping in Kenya but as more e-commerce companies shift to offer cash on delivery and flexible returns and exchanges of products, the re-assurance is taking shape, upscale is inevitable.

The recent entry of KAYMU to rival OLX is a major indication that more online retailers are on their way to Kenya as the government continues to devise ways of tackling traffic jams, estimated to cost the second fastest growing commercial hub in Africa over KSh. 50 million per day.

 

Jaguar’s songs are heralded as hits even before they are released. Sauti Sol’s too could be fall in that category. And as for,say,Kenrazzy,Or G-Kon,no matter what hot a track they do,It never really climbs the hit ladder. Or generates rave reviews.

In a country like Kenya,where the entertainment industry is controlled by an imperative clique,and chances of Your music getting played(Leave alone overplayed) depend on the whims of vainglorious Deejays,the term “Hit Song” really depends on who applies it,who sang the song and why it is a Hit.

There are Kenyan songs which ended up in the annals of HITS when,in all fairness,they weren’t anything close to seismic or phenomenal. The songs’ only ticket to ‘Hitdom’ was the fact that the guy who sang them was a well-heeled fellow…Or the DJ who blew them up was a prejudiced turntablist with vested interests in the artist or his/her career.

While a song like ‘Kigeugeu” had real Hit ingredients,many of the songs that King Jaguar(God,I have to call him that) did afterwards wouldn’t exactly earn that title. But,still,given that they were done by someone whose wallets were fat and who had enviable associations with State House,they immediately became hits. Barely 3 minutes after release.

Wyre too is another artist with an uncanny ability to ‘churn out hits’ as it is said in media circles. And while we agree that Wyre has done some quite phenomenal songs in the past,some of his songs have been a bland,flat joke that do not deserve even a mention on radio. Leave alone airplay. But still,given that it is Wyre,the good boy turned International fameboy,his songs have been treated as outright hits…By bloggers and radio DJs and pretty much anyone else who matters.

Juacali,however,hasn’t been that lucky. After releasing MEGA HITS in the early 2000s,which included ‘Kiasi’,’Kamata Dem’,’Nyundo’,’Kwaheri’ etc,his subsequent releases haven’t received as much reception and love as had his earlier jams.

I cannot even remember what song Juacali has released in the last 4 Years. A clear indication of just how flat they fell. And poorly they performed.

But here,I have seen songs promoted to super stardom even when they didn’t quite deserve the blitz and attention. Songs like ‘Fimbo Chapa” by Grandpa Family and many others by the same family come to mind.

‘Fimbo Chapa’ was absolute scum.

Many songs done by ‘Rapper’ Jay A (How did he even become a rapper??) have received mad airplay. And christened as HITS even when they were absolute balderdash. But we all know Jay A has tight networks in the DJ fraternity. Very tight….

This article does not mean to attack music done or artists who did it. And I am trying as much as possible to avoid naming songs and artists. Or zeroing in on a single artist. But still,how did some of the biggest Kenyan songs end up as his?? What was the criteria?? Who decided they were hits??

This brings to mind the story that Rapper DNA shared about how he approached DJ Pinye with his song ‘Banjuka’ hoping that Pinye would ‘make it a hit’ on his interminable TV show The Beat. Pinye,being the diva he is touted as,turned down the song. And led DNA away. Dejected,DNA left with his neglected song…A song that,after much deserved airplay on Nairobi Matatus,would end up becoming a Kenyan Classic party track, A hit of hits.

And while ELANI is my favorite Kenyan Band,alongside the astounding Sauti Sol,I watched in dismay as DJs tried forcing their song ‘Zuzu’ down on us. Elani,who have a history of churning out mega mega hits,didn’t quite hit the right notes on Zuzu. It was a fail,honestly speaking. But still,it was almost made a hit. With inexhaustible rewinds on Radio,TV and ummm,where else?? Yet it wasn’t hit material. Never will be.

And while rappers like Kenrazy and G-KON have managed to somehow,churn out very catchy songs…with thumping beats,masterful songwriting,witty lyrics and ingenious punchlines,they’ve never really made it to the very top of the Hit Category. Their songs,and many of such artists,are almost always treated as third-rate trash. And have always received minimal airplay. Very minimal.

Most a times,we’ve been forced to dance and jam along to songs that we have absolutely no idea how they even deserved this much airplay. We went along with it. And believed these songs were hits…Even when they totally lacked the ingredients. Or the elements.

But what makes a song a hit? Well, It all boils down to a number of not-so-difficult factors,including melody,beats,theme,lyricism,rhyme,wittiness,relatability and sometimes,humor. This article right here will also help You understand more on what makes a song a hit. And it will also help explain why people like DJ Khaleed are said to have hit songs even when they are not even musicians in the first place.

While we appreciate that DJs maketh a song,we must also hope that the same DJ will need to stretch their necks further and listen out to the next big hit instead of sitting idly and waiting for their favorite musician to drop their new song in a bid to madly popularize and overplay it even when the new song really is pure crap. But the artist behind it is a god.

And while WE DO not make songs hits,we must also learn to follow the Western pattern where amazing music spreads organically via word-of-mouth,social media and social gatherings hence ending up at the very top of the charts even if the artist behind them is unknown or unrespected by the Music Industry potentates.

Any song can be a hit. But NOT any Artist can be a hit. And that explains the origin of the word ‘One Hit Wonder’. Google that up,kid. And go make an unknown song a hit today! You  heard???!!?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is disturbing. Very disturbing. This boy’s mother should ungive birth to him. And I wish I could unsee this photos. Too bad,I have already seen them. And so will You. This is the most disgusting thing You will read today. And these are the most obnoxious photos You will see this month. Brace Yourself.

 

Meet Jordan Parke; he’s fabulous,trendy,lunatic and maniacal. The 23-year-old British makeup artist considers himself a very big fan of Kim Kardashian, so much so that he told British newspaper The Sun that he’s spent roughly $150,000(Ksh.13,000,000) on cosmetic surgery to look just like her “I love everything about Kim,” he said, explaining he developed his fandom after watching an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians (which is apt, because that’s now exactly what he’s attempting to do). “She’s the most gorgeous woman ever. Her skin is perfect, her hair, everything about her.”,Jordan says of Kanye West’s wife.

 

 

Yesterday will go down in the books of history as one of the days when Kenyan Mps stooped too low to show how unruly and selfish they can turn out to be when trouble ensued over the controversial security bill that was passed amid chaos.

The whole country was taken aback by the uncalled for behaviour that MPs displayed, with reactions flowing from all quarters over the same.

A number of celebrities have aired their views on the same, with majority showing their displeasure at the unruly behaviour.

This is the reaction:

 

 

I have never  been a sympathizer with dare-devils, But I love the thrill that comes with it, like I love people who can say what I wouldn’t say even If I was down with 33 bottles of Konyagi on my bill. 

Well Sheer dare-devilry has landed one Robert Alai in trouble, shortly after he was released on a 200.000 cash bail, his Twitter account has been suspended. He can no longer make those scathing daring remarks that we had come to associate him with- He can’t even tweet  that his account has been suspended! 

Just like a house of cards, his empire has come crumbling all around..He is like an eagle, with its wings clipped.. but you can never be too sure about a twitter big-wig, He probably has a plan up his sleeve.. and sooner or later he shall pull a rabbit out of a hat… But Alai will need a lot of Mayonnaise to make chicken salad out of chicken poop. 

 

 

Guys on twitter Tweeting after his account went suspended. 

 

And this is the kind of Magic that happens when you try to access his account. 

 

Prof Wangari Maathai was not celebrated  at home until she won the Nobel peace prize,and even the excitement died untill her demise shortly after bagging the coveted award that saw her ranked against people who had actually made an impact in the world in their own small way, her way was by changing how our eneviromentwas by planting more trees and encouraging conservation. Yesterday, we heard news that a statue of her had been erected and was unveiled  by her friends at Benedictine College.. Ok point is:- Heroes don’t get celebrated at home.

 This then brings me to Socialite Corazon Kwamboka who has been featured by a Ghanaian Magazine as one of the curviest women in Africa, just in case you sat and thought that hers was horseplay. Again her global-changing behind has gone beyond  the boundaries of our small country to a land of oil and money. And just like Wangari Maathai, she has not been celebrated at home..Like she hasn’t planted any real or imagined trees.. but she has a nice figure and deserves to be on the cover of every fashion magazine.. 

Oh and you are wondering what number she has been ranked? Corazon Is Number 3 in Africa! This happens shortly after leaving Spain where she had gone where she had gone to satiate her fetish for FC Barcelona. Tonight Apparently she will be in Ghana, showing some love for her Ghana fans.. well? Heroes and home? Bad idea..

 

 

 

 

Today, our elected and nominated members of parliament and senators showed exactly what they are, and are still showing, when they picked fights and fracas that left some like Machakos County Senator Johnston Muthama badly injured and with his clothes in tatters.

The events have been covered by the media, which is largely opposed to the proposed security bill because it is believed to be draconian and suppressing the media freedom.

CCTV’s Ramah Nyang, aho is among those opposed to the bill has now predicted what is likely to happen after today’s chaos.

Nyang’ firmly thinks that after today’s fracas appears in the international media and shown to the whole world, the government will again come for the media and blame it for the coverage.

This, according to Nyang’ is another way showing how the government is determined to silence the media which has continued to inform the public.

This is what Ramah said in his social media account:

Some celebrities like their lives to be private. Very private that they do not want the public to have a glimpse of even their families for those who have one.

However, comedian Obinna Ike Igwe of Nation FM and NTV is a happy father. He is a father to a very handsome young boy whom is following in the footsteps of his father.

According to the photos Obinna shared, it seems he is gradually introducing his ‘Ninja’, as he calls the boy, into comedy and the boy is not disappointing his dad after all.

Check out these photos:

It takes a special kind of evil to tear into the hallways a school killing children indiscriminately while yelling “‘God is great’“.

And that is what Taliban militants in Peshawar, Pakistan did in an incident that has left 145 people dead 132 of them children, making it the deadliest attack in Pakistani History. This incident has left the world shocked to the core because of this act that is so vile, so unnatural that is seems even fictitious.

Pinky Ghelani who will soon be a mother of two was so shocked by this unpleasant incident that she posted this