Back in March 2016,a little-known average village girl with no social media following,very bad clothes and no past history with fame swept the entire global Internet after her horribly horrible photoshop skills were broadcast on Facebook.
Seve Gat’s or whoever is was,took her image and superimposed it next to famous Chinese landmarks. And then cleverly lied to the World that she had left for China.
The Internet reacted immediately – falling over itself with hysterical laughter.
Seve Gat’s,a regular girl from Meru,never quite anticipated the kind of notoriety her little Facebook pranks would bring her.
Her photos quickly swept the Internet gathering thousands and thousands of LIKES and shares.
Everyone was now talking – and blogging – about her. From TV tabloid show hosts to the likes of Caroline Mutoko.
Girl became an instant sensation attracting attention even from reputable global websites like the Daily Mail,BBC and The Telegraph.
The photoshopped image that first made Seve Kinya a viral internet sensation
All because she made a little joke about going to China. And followed it up with what would be classified as the most hilariously awful photoshop job in the World.
Some IT gurus led by Sam Gichuru quickly took notice too and,just like that,organized to ACTUALLY take the girl to China for real. Again,the Internet drowned in a collective ‘awwwww’.
Couple months later,the girl ACTUALLY did fly off to China,for an all-expenses paid luxury tour,her bad hair,bad clothes and awkward smile notwithstanding.
But before jetting off to the vast land of Mao Zedong,Seve Gat’s (Lawd,what sort of name is this!???) spent a lot of time at the Sam Gichuru offices as an intern on some program called ‘Kuhustle’ that we all don’t quite understand very well.
Either way,Mr. Gichuru,a renowned tech guru and youth inspiration,took the young lady under his wings and put her through a mentorship and extensive tutelage meant to better her and equip her for life and the job market.
But even after amassing thousand of new followers, her Facebook went quiet.
It later emerged that this was not an opportunist who will quickly jump at her sudden popularity to publicize herself and her antics further,Seve Kinya (as I shall call her now) turned out to be a total social media novice who didn’t quite understand who she had suddenly become and who didn’t really care about pushing her brand further and keeping her ‘fans’ hooked.
She appeared very indifferent to everything that was suddenly happening to her. And, even from her tone,you could tell that this was the same village girl with a Facebook account that cared very little about going viral or even becoming famous.
She didn’t cash in on her sudden popularity. And didn’t even seem to care that she was buzzing allover town all of a sudden.
And then she went to China… On what seemed like a lonely trip of her standing idly and in a rather melancholic way around some of China’s most famous landmarks.
Too bad that the guys who sent this young woman off to China didn’t even consider throwing in her friend or boyfriend or at least her sister to the trip for the sake of her company.
It was made for her. Just her. Two long weeks in such an enormous enormous Country full of strange Asians all by yourself.
Two weeks all by yourself in a land millions of miles away.
No one to party with,take photos with,laugh with,climb hills with,share memories with,act silly with,eat with,take selfies with,admire the landscapes with or even spend a night with.
Just you.
Of all the photos that Seve Kinya shared of her Chinese itinerary,98% of them showed a rather sad woman – lonely,confused,bored, tired and with a fake smile surrounded by random Chinese faces she could barely remember an hour later.
She visited some of China’s most reputable places but she went alone.
No one to share a memory with.
All were saw were photos of a haggard-looking Kinya staring into the distance,looking forlorn or lazying by a river,alone,not laughing or even smiling. She even shared a series of photos of her standing confusedly in the corridors of a mall,alone,with the caption,‘I really miss my friends…”
Most of Kinya’s China photos displayed a lonely woman already tired of her trip.
Clearly,this wasn’t somebody who was fully enjoying that trip. But she had to fly off anyway…Just to please her benefactors.
And then she flew back – to a whole new landscape that had since moved on from her and her photoshop antics.
She crept back into the Country silently – tired, lonely,stiff but thankful all the same.
A week after her China trip,she came back on Facebook to announce that she terribly needed a job. And she made it very clear,saying,and I quote ;
Looking for a job on a serious note..
That Facebook update immediately prompted her followers to laugh at her and mock her for her sudden ‘fall from grace’ igniting a divided,tempestuous storm in the comment section.
People wondered why,after all the fame and exposure,this woman still remained jobless and unable to pay her bills.
Why,for instance,didn’t Sam Gichuru and his confederates offer this girl a job?
But Sam’s job was simple – to fund her useless trip to China. That’s all.
He wasn’t tasked with employing her. Not tasked with finding her a job amongst his associates.
He did his part and moved on. The rest would sort itself out.
And even before she’d recovered from jetlag and joblessness,yet another bunch of opportunists jumped onto her offering her a chance to host a club event.
The architects of vanity came calling and extended her an opportunity to do what cheap women like Huddah Monroe and Vanessa Chettle do- host a drunken,rooftop revelry at a swanky club.
Why was Seve Kinya,a jobless young woman with no social media appeal,no charisma, no allure,no panache,no swankiness, no flair,no talent and no pop culture influence of any kind being asked to host a club event?
Heck! She doesn’t even have proper clothes to appear in a club with.
She probably doesn’t even go to parties and clubs and suchlike benders.
What,exactly,qualified this girl to host a club event?
Promotional poster announcing Kinya’s big date
Yet again, someone is reacting to Seve Kinya’s 15 minutes of fame and hopes to make a killing by having her host an event in his club.
It’s sad that this woman is consistently being used and abused and pushed to causes and ideas she isn’t really into but she has to do them for her own sake.
What Seve Kinya actually needs is a silent,normal accountancy job at some less dramatic office.
That’s all she needs.
Clearly,this is not the type of woman that was made to make wild trips abroad for her fans.
This isn’t the type of woman with the flair,aptitude,glamor,skill and even sexy allure required to host club events and pull massive audiences.
The World is tirelessly trying to carve out a Huddah Monroe out of this poor village soul.
But she lacks all the ingredients needed to do what her handlers are pushing her into.
She can barely construct a brilliant text on Facebook.
What, for instance,is she expected to do at the Best Western event tomorrow?
Dance? Sing? Strip? Talk wild? Hype up the crowd? Give a lecture? Preach? Display her Chinese trip photos!?
For goodness’ sake,the girl cannot even smile properly!
It’s so sad and so confusing. But the woman can’t say no. She just can’t.
She really needs whatever is being thrown her way.
But what she truly needs is an actual job. And to be left alone.
Everyone should STOP wasting the poor village girl’s time with the wanderlust trips and the senseless club events.
That’s absolutely NOT her thing.
And I can tell you for sure,less than twenty people will attend her club event at the Hurlingham-based Best Western hotel tomorrow.
Or even less than ten.
And while we are at it,who even designed that terrible event poster? Her little brother in the village?
Sweetheart,your time is up. But you just don’t know it yet.
Social media can build . But it can also demolish.
Seve Kinya just ain’t the girl for the job.
Just let his poor girl go home….Her time,seriously,is up.
