Month: January 2015

I’m going to try not blow the horn too much for Kameme Fm, a vernacular station under the management of Mediamax Limited lest you say that my name betrays me. 

About 3 months ago or so, popular  vernacular artiste, Shiro wa Gp was going through a hard time, She had delivered twins at Mp Shah, one of the twins had unfortunately passed away while the remaining twin was fighting for dear life, as if it couldn’t get any worse, her bill had accumulated to over 2 million.

A popular Male presenter, Njogu Wa Njoroge made the distress call on Radio and in 3 hours Kameme Fm had raised 3 million to aid Shiro Wa Gp! It was Phenomenal! Even the president himself sent his contribution.

Fast Forward to 2015: Charles Kimani, a form 3 student at Kiambu High School needed financial aid to get an operation in India to remove a brain tumor. In less than 40 minutes the listeners had raised 2,800,350 Shillings! The man behind rallying up the masses for  this cause is Njogu Wa Njoroge. A man whose command of Facebook is way bigger than  Larry Madowo’s . 

Today Adelle Anyango dissapointed me and my Kind. She with all the glory and intellect bestowed upon her by the good gods forgot to ask One really important question, How did she forget to ask Mary What color underwear she was on? I mean, She asked Yemi Alade, (who said red) and Size 8 who Said ( blue) Anyway maybe the color of her undies was not as important as the revelations I’m about to make. So hold on fast, here are some of the things that you didn’t know about Marya! 

 Adelle: (Cuts promo)  Are you dating a politician?

Marya: Noo I’m not. 

Adelle: How many Tattoos do you have on your body?

Marya:Four right now.

Adelle:How old are you?

Marya: In my late 20’s 

Adelle: Have you quit music?

Marya: No, I haven’t, I’m still an artist 

Adelle: At what age did you lose your virginity?

Marya: Oh God, Jesus, Holy Ghost! 

Adelle: (laughing hard) well yeah tell me

Marya: (getting over her shock) I lost my Virginity when I was past 18! 

Adelle: What advice would you give to an 18 year old Marya?

Marya: Heh, take it slow, take life easy Man, there is no need for anything.

Adelle: Are you Single or Taken?

Marya: Very Much Taken 

Adelle: (shocked) By who?

Mary: By someone very special 

Adelle: Is he a celebrity?

Marya: Hell no! 

Here is the audio; 

Kenyans won’t allow the hustles of January bar them from going to see one of the world’s funniest and richest comedian who will be gracing Churchill show.

If you are trying to make ends meet this January, don’t think everyone else is on the same boat with you. Some are willing to go to great lengths just “buy” a laugh that we may be taking for grunted.

Heeding to the common idiom; laughter is the best medicine, Kenyans have turned out in their numbers to purchase tickets to the highly anticipated Russell Peters’ show on 8^th of February 2015.

See also: Churchill To Host One Of The Richest Comedians On Earth. See Details

Tickets to the show are retailing from Kes 5000 to 20,000. The diamond package which is retailing for 20,000 has already been sold out.

In a chat with one of the organizers, Ghafla! learnt there were 25 tables which people paid 20,000 to reserve. Each table has 10 seats that means by now folks have already paid Kes 5,000,000 for the diamond package alone.

With people still calling in to inquire if they can reserve seats for the diamond package, the organizers are planning to add more 10 tables.

Check out the ticket range below:

TICKETS HOTLINES 0734 277 667/4

Tickets Ranges;

ARENA: Ksh. 5,000, free seating. (Available)

GOLD Ksh. 10,000 reserved seating. (70% sold)

PLATINUM: Ksh. 15,000 priority seats (75% sold)

DIAMOND Ksh. 20,000 inclusive of dinner (sold out 100%)

Reverend Kathy Kiuna caused a stir when she allegedly banned all the penniless faithful from attending her church. She attracted wrath from Kenyans of all walks of life; even celebrities too chipped in their voices regarding the same.

The dust is yet to settle on Kathy Kiuna’s latest slur. The reverend rubbed many people’s shoulder the wrong way igniting heated reactions from Kenyans.

See also: Rev Kathy Kiuna Is Alleged To Have Banned Poor People From Attending Her Church!

Celebrities have voiced in their opinions following this regretful insult by Kathy. Nairobi Senator Mike Sonko promised to stand by the “discarded” faithful while popular actor, Gerald Langiri had no pity for them saying no one held a gun on their head to force them to attend Kathy’s church.

Check out what they wrote:

Mike Sonko: Watu wangu naskia mumefukuzwa Church zenu due to poverty don’t worry tuko pamoja.Many Christian believers who invest years in their lives in what they do will one day stand before the Lord and realize they were building the house,not the Lord but sinking sand. Before we act,we must ask why?Why are we doing what we are doing?Has God called us to this task?Or is the real motive purely financial or otherwise or control.

Gerald Langiri: But ‪#‎KathyKiuna isn’t holding a gun to anyone’s head and forcing them to attend her church!So what’s with the noise?If anything, she is clearly stating who she wants to preach to(the rich! for obvious reasons) So enough already oh yea believers,all you have to do is attend another church that you believe that your faith will be fed the “right” information to make yea ascend to heaven. The hilarious part is that if you do stop attending her church, that means you are broke lol (Her rich niggas stand to the left, her broke niggas stand to the right lmao) I digress..but Yes, imagine you actually do have a choice to which church you can attend smile emoticon make the right choice, attend none for a while like me (unless you are forced to like when attending a funeral or wedding) and instead, understand what spirituality is and what it entails and you will realise that most of the man made religions we have around nowadays are all out there to use your faith and the name of God to make themselves rich! Peace be with you and “may the odds always be in your favor”..fine that last quote is from the hunger games but it really fit in with my speech, right? lol I’m sure believers that subscribe to other faiths right now are like *smh* look at all those lost souls, they should just change camps! *sigh* matters of faith are tricky I tell you.

Controversial businessman, Paul Kobia has promised to hunt down three prominent Senators for allegedly abusing the president.

Has Paul Kobia totally gone wacko? His actions will leave you with more questions than you can possibly get answers.

Kobia has promised to take dire action on three Senators namely; Boniface Khalwale, Omar Hassan and Johnston Muthama for allegedly abusing the head of state.

“If someone abuses the president, they should not come to Nairobi. That I have REFUSE!!!” Kobia told reporters.

Kobia has warned the three Senators to keep off the city especially places associated with the name Kenyatta.

“Na niko na jeshi nimetoa yangu ya ground forces ya ghetto ya Majengo, ya Huruma, ya wapi ya kutafuta hao” uttered Kobia.

Paul was recently admitted in a mental institution after he allegedly started uttering “crazy” words.

See also: After He Allegedly Bragged About Killing Fidel Odinga, Paul Kobia Was Declared Insane. But Robert Alai Thinks Otherwise

Below is the video of Paul Kobia issuing his threat that was uploaded on YouTube by K24:

{youtube}dlKBKhf-zz0{/youtube}

I heard that you banned poor people from your church. If you really said those creepy words and expelled the less fortunate crop of your congregation, then there’s a big problem with our churches today. And you have highlighted it with your actions.  Let me get this straight. So you have made your church to be a mini-heaven in which you have chosen to play God. You determine who should enter and who should not. For you the poor are like sinners. They shouldn’t be on your Holy ground.

I think i know my bible well and according to Luke Chapter 6 Verse 20, it says, “”Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. “Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied.” And Matthew Chapter 19 Verse 24 says, “ “It’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

But what you are telling us Reverend Kiuna is that it’s easier for a poor man to enter heaven then to enter your church? Wow.

It’s sad that we are living in a world where pastors think they can overrule the directives of Jesus Christ. If Jesus the son of God, said something should be this way, what gives you the right to say it should be the other way round Reverend Kiuna? The other day you told women from Eastlands to flee from the broke brothers there and rent SQs in posh estates so that they can eaily settle in the claws of wealthy men. What you are simply saying is wealth is all that matters even when the Lord says it does not. Earthly positions do not necessarily reflect personal value. But according to you, riches are better than a true spirit

Because of people like you Mrs Kiuna, we are now seeing churches being built entirely on a personality cult; with pastors spoken of in hushed, reverent tones as if they were vying for a spot in the holy trinity itself. Your followers retweet your opinions but rarely quote those of Jesus. They rely on the pastor’s interpretation of the bible instead of cracking it open themselves. That’s just sad

One thing I have always known for a fact is that we are all sinners. No matter how wise and visionary the men and women of the cloth might seem, they are all as equally flawed and messy as anyone else in their congregation.

We do not want religious celebrities. What we want is disciples who spread the word in true fashion. We don’t want pastors who soak up the spotlight and get the lion’s share of glory while leaving Jesus as only a quiet, gracious runner-up.

I also understand that your church needs money to run effectively Reverend Kiuna but that isn’t a justifiable reason to banish poor people from your church. People who look up to you as a teacher. You preach prosperity and financial nourishment so why not help these poor people to be rich as well instead of showing them that they are good for nothing. Your legacy shouldn’t be on how big a ministry you build or how successful an empire you set up. It should be on how effective you are in handing over the baton of faith to the masses. Metrics should be based on how many people you show the right way to heaven not the right way to earthly glory.

Let’s just be serious here Reverend Kiuna. It really doesn’t matter how classy your church is. It doesn’t matter who you think should be there and who shouldn’t. That’s God’s call, not your call. He’s the one who will determine who was serious in the congregations and who wasn’t. Jesus wants co-laborers not heroes. He’s the only hero. He’s the only star. He’s not looking for co-stars who make religious decisions on their own. He wants servants who emphasize the principles He has set up. Thank You

Sincerely

Philip Etemesi (Concerned Christian)

It is emerging, with time, that blogger Robert Alai is a man that everyone should take seriously. Despite the political differences playing among many Kenyans, and particularly in Alai’s posts and utterances, the blogger is gradually gaining fame among his folks and foes in equal measure, thanks to his reputation as one of the most credible and timely source of very sensitive information.

Late last year, the controversial blogger blasted social media guru Xtian Dela by alleging that he was buying followers on twitter and other social media platforms to gain fame.

This came as a result of the social media guru garnering a massive following on twitter, suddenly and unexpectedly; a following that is difficult to garner over a short period of time.

A row blew between Dela and Alai, with many finding themselves divided over who to stand by or with.

As they say, time heals everything. The saga would later cool down and eventually fade out as more pertinent issues took centre-stage. After all who was interested in Xtian Dela having a million followers on twitter and instagram!

For those who don’t know the genesis of this saga, Xtian Dela has over 406,000 followers on twitter and 21,100 followers on instagram. That is no mean figure my friend.

This clearly explains why Alai took issue with the social media presence and recognition Xtian Dela has. After all, he was justified to do so.

There are prominent, eminent and famous people around the globe with fewer followers than Dela. Again, in Kenya, for one to get such a following you need to be a bit extra ordinary. But for Dela, this looked so easy within a span of days or weeks.

Many dismissed Alai then, but it is now coming to pass that the blogger was right.

Xtain Dela was nominated for the recently concluded Social Media Awards in Africa, a ceremony that was held in Lagos, Nigeria, over the weekend.

Fortunately, his social media presence landed him nominations to three different categories in awards. That was a record Xtian Dela set jointly with another Nigerian nominee who also got to the three slots.

However, as fate is, Xtian Dela who had travelled all the way to Lagos, and we must congratulate him for that, came back empty handed. He failed to win an award despite the nomination into three different categories.

This surprised many of us who had big expectations for the son of the land. Even the SMAA blog is surprised why Xtian Dela with his Nigerian counterpart could not land even a single award.

The blog says, “On another surprising note, three of the continent’s favourites earlier tipped to clinch awards, Xtian Dela from Kenya and Japheth Omojuwa from Nigeria; both with 3 nominations and Vodafone Ghana with 2 nominations across different awards did not emerge winners in all nominations despite overwhelming support from fans and followers.”

The main line here is: “…3 nominations…across different awards did not emerge winners in all nominations despite overwhelming support from fans and followers.”

How now? Why? If someone has an overwhelming support from fans and followers, and he is tipped as the favourite for the award, why is it that they cannot win the award?

Did the judges at the SMA awards discover foul play in the voting process? Why did they not award Xtian Dela considering he has a massive following on twitter and instagram and can command a wonderful rallying behind him? What did the judges look at to deny Xtain Dela an award?

Voting for the nominees was through e-mail. Was Xtian Dela nominated genuinely for the award or he coached his voters? Did he gather mails from friends and voted for himself? Is Robert Alai’s allegation that Xtian Dela buys followers to gain fame coming out as nothing but the truth? Don’t you think it is time we started taking Robert Alai seriously?

Did Xtain Dela deserve to return from Nigeria empty-handed considering that he has his own legion on social media? Is he paying for buying followers to gain cheap publicity? Is he dancing to the tune of Alai’s allegations? Well, these and many more are some of the questions lingering amidst us even as we are glad he atleast made it to West Africa to represent Kenya.

Rights Activist Boniface Mwangi has raised flag on the on the disgraceful action executed by the police that has raised eyebrows.

In case you didn’t know, “misuse of telecommunication” can book you a date with law enforcement officers. The misuse of telecommunication in this context is posting about someone else’s arrest. Beware!

At least that is what Boniface is alleging. He (Boniface) is claiming one of his associates was charged for misuse of telecommunication when he allegedly posted about his friend’s arrest on twitter.

Boniface however refutes the claim by the police saying the accused doesn’t even have a twitter account nor has he ever posted anything on social media.

Bloggers have continuously been strangled by the law for their posts but this case that Boniface brought forward is utterly hilarious if not crazy.

Below is what Boniface posted:

Yesterday Julio Otieno was arrested for carrying his laptop without a receipt and asked for Sh5000. When his colleague Willis Adika informed me about the arrest,l tweeted about it and Willis who was at the police station at that time was arrested and locked up. We went with the receipt of the laptop at the police post last night but we were told that to go back in the morning. This morning we have been told they have been taken to court. Julio Otieno is charged with handling suspected stolen property (the laptop his but since he refused to bribe and we tweeted about it,they have charged him). Willis Adika is been charged with “misuse of telecommunication” for posting the arrest on twitter. Willis didn’t post anything on twitter,he doesn’t have a twitter account and his phone which they confiscated is analogue and he never posted anything on social media. The OCS is called Nyaroche and when we visited the police station we found people who had been held since Friday.