Month: February 2015

Gentlemen, you don’t have to get yourself “kidnapped” on valentine day’s eve only to reappear on  Monday to an irate or suicidal woman. I got your backs, You see the trick to understanding women is by being simple, but the most important bit in this, is being yourself. We can all bet that you wont be taking her to Villa Rosa this weekend, and the hardest part is, Valentines this year is a weekend, so we can also bet that you are trapped. (But you  got into this on your own volution?Yes?) 

 Don’t worry, I have the perfect Idea, stay at home, buy some wine (should’t cost you more than 1500/=) If you can afford the wine you can get her some soda or meakins. Get some dinner going, just cook anything or boil water. (women love a guy that can cook) If you manage to cook something that doesn’t look like wood glue, call her. switch off the lights and light some candles (which you should have bought as you got the wine) since you don’t have the candles, go buy around five sticks and light them around the room while taking care not to burn your house down. When she comes, serve her some food, pour the wine and turn on the VCR. The movie you will load next will blow the two of you away. Cleopatra, the perfect Valentine’s movie.

A historical movie that details the life, times and the plight of one of the prettiest women that ever walked the face of the earth. Her rise and her demise when the  Roman invasion struck, critics have rated the movie as one of the best scripted, best directed and best shot movie of all time, It is the perfect Valentine movie. 

 

The Trailer is Here {youtube}NGDyZHlHklo{/youtube}

 

The annual ranking of universities is out and I promise you, you will be surprised by the Kenyan universities in the list and those ones that were not included in this year’s list.

The “Webometrics Ranking of World Universities” is a list released by a program of the Cybermetrics Lab. The Lab is a research group that belongs to the largest public research body in Spain , the Consejo Superior de Investigaciones Científicas (CSIC)  

The ranking is usually made according to  the volume and quality of the content a university publishes on the internet and the said content should come from the faculty, members of the University or from external authors who have had a deal from the university.

The University Of Nairobi tops the ‘Africa Top 100’ list at number 7 in Africa, Kenyatta University at number 38, Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology at 44 , Egerton University at number 60, Moi University at 65, Strathmore University Nairobi at 74.Globally here is how the universities performed:

855 University of Nairobi

2491 Kenyatta University

2624 Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology

3303 Egerton University

3573 Moi University

3877 Strathmore University Nairobi

Those missing in the list includes popular universities such as Maseno, Masinde Mulrio, Mount Kenya University and United States International University.

 

 

I am sure you have spotted them, shifty-looking fellows who carry a single unpackaged phone on them and try sell to you in a matatu at a throwaway price .

Or maybe your friend tells you of someone who is selling phone at a throw away price. Do not be tempted by the cheap phone it may land you in trouble, trouble that could cost you your money and land you in Jail. As most of these items are stolen and in some cases stolen at gun point.

Gospel singer Ambassada found himself in a sticky situation after he was found in possession of an ipad worth Kshs 65,000.The ipad did not belong to not Fred Omondi as erroneously reported in some blogs, but belonged to Douglas Ogega who was violently robbed on February 4 at Nkoroi, Kajiado. This was the same day as Hapa Kule’s Fred Omondi.

Ghafla Exclusive: Hapa Kule’s Fred Omondi Responds To Allegations That Gospel Artiste Ambassada Stole from Him

 

Ambassada was released on a cash bail of Sh40, 000 and his case will be heard on May 5

Additional reporting by Nairobi News

 

I shall proceed thither after assuming that the thousands of you who will be reading this post will make a beeline for Skluxx at westlands tommorow night, I shall also make the assumption  that if you miss this event, then  you are not a human being, you have a long nose and green eyes and you therefore belong to another world! But ofcourse, we are a good lot, we are inviting even all the aliens (if you have been watching too much Tv) for our first edition  of Ghafla nights! 

 Now let me break it down, for all the humans who will skip the Kempinski dinner dates to come party with the coolest crew that has ever walked on earth. We, the guys that bring the hottest gossip and entertainment stories to you via the interweb (internet for you) will be partying and twerking at skyluxx lounge tomorow night!

This is the first of our Ghafla!nights that will be happening at party joints that we shall be communicating in good time. This will be a party like no other, as we celebrate 2.4 million Unique views, a number higher than the bill you will be required to pay for a night at  the Villa Rosa! 

 

Amber Rose has an amazing body that has earned her titles like “gift from the god” “beautiful nymph” and “the girl with the best cakes in the world” among other things. She is a complete hottie.

I know a bunch of guys who would crawl a thousand miles on broken glass just for a moment in the sun or a roll in the sheets with Wiz Kahalifa’s former beau.

And Huddah has lately been looking a lot like Amber especially after she chopped off her hair and decided to go ginger blonde. She posted a photo of her alongside Eric Omondi who shares the same physical features as Wiz Khalifa and the two were referred to as Kenya’s Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa by fans.

 

Is Corazon Kwamboka the socialite using skin lightening products? Well, she denies it but some people still think she is bleaching.

Unlike Vera Sidaka who was once coal black, Corazon is light in complexion so it beats logic why she even dared bleach her skin. (If she indeed bleached)

The socialite posted several pictures on social media which showed her skin to be lighter in complexion than she has always been.

Corazon’s pictures raised eyebrows igniting speculation the socialite was using skin lightening creams or whichever concoction that destroys melanin.

Comparing Corazon’s old photos and the ones she recently posted, one can easily spot the difference in pigmentation.

Corazon has however come out strong to deny claims she has been bleaching her skin.

“I have always advocated for people loving themselves as they are. I would never lighten my skin. I am tired of everyone saying this or that about my complexion, I have always been light, and now I can afford a good phone to enhance my complexion and beauty. Just saying” Corazon wrote.

Is Corazon bleaching or is it just a case of applying too much makeup?

 

Valentines is just a stone-throw away and lovers are bracing themselves for the big love day. Those who have no partners are on the run to find one for the day to remain relevant on 14th February.

Eric Omondi is the latest celebrity to land himself on of his own. And by the way do you know who it is?

Well, the flamboyant comedian has used his tactics and antics to bag one of Kenya’s most celebrated socialites.

It is not queen Vera Sidika. And by the way Vera has been quiet these days! What happened to her? Ama she is somewhere gallivanting and ushering in the lovers day? Well, anyone who sees her say hi.

Back to Eric, the skinny comedian has a six-pack when it comes to matters mapenzi.

Huddah Monroe is dancing in Eric’s territories as she has been baited to spend the 14th day of this month with Eric. And where will they be doing it? Eric says below the photo.

See here what Eric is already doing with the socialite:

ericomondi14th February Safari Park Hotel Nairobi

December, 2014 the country woke up to sad news that a University of Nairobi student had been killed by her mzungu boyfriend whom she met through facebook.

It was alleged that the Briton, Carl Gary Singleton, had traveled all the way from England to Kenya to meet Ms Peris Ashley Agumbi after the two fell in love through the social media.

When they finally met, Carl rented a house in Gachie where he stayed with Ms Agaumbi who was diabetic.

However, their new relationship took a sharp U-turn and Carl became violent to an extent that he beat up Ashley, flushed down her lifesaving drugs down the lavatory ans locked her in the house, leaving her to die.

Ashley and Carl

Ashley later died in hospital where she had been rushed after her condition became worse.

The Briton was arrested and arraigned in court where he was freed for lack of enough evidence.

However, yesterday Carl was charged again with the murder of the University student.

The Briton faces charges related to murder.

Wambui Ngugi is the gorgeous doe-eyed beauty that has earned her fans from her beautiful vocals as part of the terrific trio Elani.

Wambui today engaged herself with fans and they got to ask her anything they wanted, and here are a few facts about Wambui that you should know:

1.    Wambui says that her role model is her mum whom she describes as a go getter.  Adding that “She’s taught me so much in life it’s incredible. “

2.    The only relationship she has is one with the Lord.”

3.    Her kind of guy should be definitely God fearing, kind, caring, loyal, honest, and one that has her back.

4.    She studied Actuarial science in campus.

5.    She has no favorite color as her favorite color changes from time to time. Right now she is feeling the color purple.

6.    Her family is her rock.  She says that “Just like all other careers, Music can be quite challenging. And through the tough times they have shown me great encouragement live and support. I definitely could not have been the person I am without them. Love then to death! “

7.    Wambui’s Favorite local artistes are Amos and Josh whom she describes as “so vocally talented it’s amazing!

8.    Her first kiss was before she joined campus, which she describes as “ok”. Nothing to write home about but it also wasn’t at baaaaaad!

9.    She confesses that her greatest insecurity when growing up was her eyes (Shocking right? She has AMAZING eyes).She confesses that this was because when she was little, kids made fun of her eyes all the time calling her ‘macho bano’ and other cruel taunts.  Which she says made her not like them very much. She has however come to appreciate them but now her eyes are the favorite part of her face.

The thrill of jumping off from a plane at 10,000 feet is inexcplicable, as you watch the skies recede fast and the tiny structures on the ground close in, you close your eyes and in that moment  you feel the joy of flying before you activate the safety parachute hooked to your back. 

 That was the experience that Sautisol were treated to at the coast by Skydive Diani a company at the coast that offers Skydiving, the real treat is that you come down to the sound of the ocean, the sands and the sprawling whitesands beach. 

Here is a video of how it went down. {youtube}6HquR_bJEaI{/youtube}

It is Thursday and as usual the hashtag #TBT, (throw back Thursday) litters instagram and other social media accounts.

It is a day when many Kenyans on the social media remember their heydays with funny photos that were taken then.

Comedian Sleepy David has not been left behind either.

His days before fame and the money do not look like they were something to admire, and perhaps this is why Sleepy has shared this photo to show us that watu hutoka mbali.

Here is Sleepy time as a high school student:

Last year, Vera Sidika joined the likes of Nigerian actress Thelma Omone O’khaz, Dencia and Former model Irene Majora and changed her skin complexion completely.

After pictures of her ‘new self’ managed to leak out of the usual network of bloggers and twitter and in to mainstream media, Kenyans expressed their anger and detestation over the skin lightening procedure and soon she was trending.

Everyone was talking about her and she was soon making international headlines after an interview on #thetrend which went Viral.

Inspired by the events, K-Nel hit the studio and recorded a harsh song titled “Vera Shindika” that was produced by the talented Ghostboy. In the song, K-Nel goes for the jugular with lines like “…Mikono Nyeupe, Magoti nyeusi utadhani in Zebra”

The song has become a club banger and now Knel is looking to make more money off “Vera Shindika”

Popular Actor/Actress Shaniqua, KTN’s new kid on the block, known for his weekly dramas on the show Jameni is quickly gaining a cult status.

Shaniqua, who, a few weeks ago, stormed Larry Madowo’s The Trend show and left him totally blown away and speechless, yesterday repeated his stupefying feats at St. Teresa’s Primary School.

Shaniqua, and the whole Jameni crew, had shown up at St. Teresa’s Primary School for Girls for the purposes of shooting a short skit that was to take at least 30 minutes.

Knowing just how huge the school population was, and just how uncontrollable they would turn out to be if they ever had the chance to see Shaniqua in flesh, the School Principal had earlier urged Shaniqua and the whole KTN crew to at least show up DURING class time. Not break time.

But still, it didn’t work out. Because even though Shaniqua and crew showed up at around 2:15pm,which was official class time, word still managed to filter across the classes that Shaniqua was in their vicinity. And that’s when ALL hell broke loose.

Excited pupils stormed from their classrooms leaving the teachers in awe, tumbling over the staircases, crashing into the thick mass of fellow pupils and mobbed Shaniqua’s van demanding to see Shaniqua.

Ensconced in the van, Shaniqua refused to step off the bus due to the huge mass of humanity crowded around it. Still, they yelled and hollered his name until ‘she’ walked out….sending them into a hysterical frenzy.

And when Shaniqua finally decided to step out of the safe place and say hi to them, more madness ensued.

Clearly, a star has been born……

All the madness was caught on tape. Here are videos of the event….And pics, too..

Long Live Shaniqua!

{youtube}rRoOR5NQ-TA{/youtube}

 

 

Jalango was caught in a difficult situation when his plus size girlfriend demanded a pleasure no money could buy. In an attempt to please her, Jalas ended up in shambles.

Some things are better off if you just leave them to the right people to do. I mean Jalang’o tried something that was meant for him and ended up almost breaking his ribs.

Picture this, Jalang’o’s girlfriend is like three or four times the size of him. Then, Jalaong’o tried to carry her just to show her how much he loves him. What do you think happened next?

It all started when Jalas’ girlfriend demanded to be carried by the comedian. Giving in to his lover’s demands, Jalas lifted her up.

He however wasn’t strong enough to put her down safely. What followed is totally hilarious. The heavy duty girlfriend landed on Jalas as they came tumbling down.

{youtube}ggR7IJyAj2g{/youtube}

A moi University Media student has blasted NTV’s Larry Madowo after the media personality blatantly ignored his question concerning the media.

Is Moi University a breeding ground for goons? Definitely not. This was an obviously irritated Linguistics, Media and Communication student who felt let down by Larry after he failed to reply to his question.

Was the student justified to do so? Hell no. He stooped too low and went ahead to insult Larry for ignoring him.

Was Larry justified to ‘ignore’ the student? He has the answer to that. Did he do it intentionally or he was still preparing to answer the student?

Well, Larry shared the insult after it happened and asked his viewers what he should tell the student.

Here is how it went down:

What should I tell young Lloyd here?

 

AfWA CONGRESS & EXHIBITION 2016 LOGO DESIGN COMPETITION WINNERS

The African Water Association AfWA, inconjunction with Nairobi Water & Sewerage Company Ltd will be hosting the 18^th AfWA Congress & Exhibition in Nairobi in February 2016 at the KICC. This event is a biannual event and the four days international event which will host over 1500 delegates. This forum will change the way things are done in Nairobi city county as the guests will largely contribute to our Tourism development agenda, bring in foreign currency, as well as discuss the theme ‘Sustainable Access to Water & Sanitation in Africa’ in the water sector.

In preparation to this, the Local Organizing Committee (LOC) decided to have a national logo competition in order to include public participation as well as bring visibility to this noble international congress. A legal document was developed with conditions and participation rules and was certified by NCWS Legal office.

We engaged the public through a media campaign in radios (KISS, CLASSIC FM & CAPITAL FM & print media DAILY NATION) as well as on popular social media sites

Out of the above campaign, we believe we reached over 20,000 Kenyans going by the hits & views as well as responses sent to us via email & via the media stations we used.

The LOC was satisfied with the progress which kicked off on January 19^th 2015 & ended on January 31^st 2015. Competition closed on this date which saw about 428 submissions, of which a couple of them were repetitions/improvements of initial submissions.

Out of these, LOC as part of the logo design selection panel shortlisted the designs to 20 best, then to 6 best and finally to 3 best designs which we have attached herein.

The three finalists were this morning awarded at a ceremony that was graced by the M.D NCWS Eng. Philip Gichuki, staff as well as Directors & LOC. Winners awarded cash prizes are as follows;

 

Winner no.3 – takes home Kes.20, 000/-    Edwin Moracha

Winner no.2 – takes home Kes. 50,000/-    Jacob Mwenda

Winner no.1 – takes home Kes. 100,000/- Martin Achar

1^st Winner-

Martin Aketch Achar, Freelancer Graphic Designer, 4^th year BBIT Student at JKUAT Karen Campus –takes home Kes. 100,000/- Martin Achar

 

2^nd Winner-Jacob Mwenda, Graphic Designer at K-GRAHPICS

3^rd Winner

Freelancer Graphic Designer at UNIQ Dimensions Edwin Moracha

 

 

The Winning Logo

 

 

 

 

You know You’ve reached the zenith of delusion when You sit down and,even though You are practically a nobody,decide to SUE a man of Boniface Mwangi’s mettle.

Kid please…Have several seats. Heck,grab the whole auditorium! And sit that little unknown clown ass down.

Who are You?? What is Your claim to fame? Exactly WHO knows You?? And why?? What contribution have You brought to society?? What change have You,not only advocated for,but also effected?? Wait….Ati Who are You again??

Punk ass clown.

I literally crashed with laughter when I came across a tweet sent by one Xtian Dela,a twitter,Ok,don’t laugh,bigwig. He was threatening to sue the most invincible,indomitable and unassailable man in Kenya; Boniface Mwangi.

And even went ahead to announce to the ghosts that “follow” him that he had already “consulted” with his “lawyers” and that they would be serving King Boniface with court papers very soon.

Hahahaha! Who needs Kevin Hart with all these jaw-snapping comics allover the place!?

I mean,if I had a dollar for every time Boniface Mwangi was taken to court,well,I wouldn’t be here writing in the first place …

What would make a man as enlightened,I assume,as Xtian Dela think that he could manage to scare Boniface Mwangi with a Court Date? Please!

Boni has been sued by pretty much everything. The kid walks in and out of courts as frequently as Xtian Dela walks in and out of ….ummm,where?? The Buy Followers Kiosk??

Boniface is hardly the man to be cowed,intimidated or subdued by an online Court summon…Hell,he’s been through real courts…faced bigger plaintiffs, battled mightier legal wars and maneuvered smarter summons….

And here You are,inebriated in your Twitter fallacy,thinking that,by “threatening” to sue Boni…You are driving a last nail of intimidation down his coffin.

Brother…Thou art deluded!

I found the whole “LANGATA KIDS TEARGAS DRAMA VIDEO” a tad too crappy.

Some clowns,whose credentials stand to be questioned,anyway,decided to cobble together a shaky video attempting to link Boniface Mwangi,Kenya’s foremost provocateur, to the teargassing of the kids at Lang’ata.

And then they hired some fellow to narrate the whole drama,with NOT only the worst accent ever heard but also the shoddiest narration skills ever!

Before You link Boniface Mwangi to your delusions,ask yourself…

. Unlike Boniface,who am I??
. Unlike Boniface,what have I ever done for society??
.Unlike Boniface,what do I stand for??
. Unlike Boniface,when was the last time I suffered for the sake of the despondent??

.Unlike Boniface,what Awards have I won for Humanity’s sake???

I find the whole “Boniface is funded by Wazungus” argument utterly childish,nonsensical and fatuous.

So what if he is getting “funded” to do what is right!??
Well,if a man is getting ‘funded’ to fight for my rights,go to jail for me,defend me and stand up for me,well,those are funds that are used in the RIGHT way.

I’d rather an activist that gets funded to DEFEND my rights than a Tweep that gets funded to trample on them.

Everyone in this World is getting FUNDED to do something. The Question is; Are You getting funded to do the RIGHT thing?

For instance,the savage terrorist organization ISIS,that has been wrecking diabolical havoc across the Middle East is getting funded too…To kill,maim,behead,burn,torture, rape and annihilate mankind with the grimmest form of terror ever conjured.

Now, that’s FUNDING that is going to the WRONG place…

But,let’s assume,for a minute,even though we’ve got no proof at all, that Boniface Mwangi was FUNDED to storm Lang’ata Primary and instigate a riot…Question is; Was the protest successful? Yes. Did the kids get their school playground back? Yes. Was the land grabber vanquished? Yes.

Well,if that’s what Boniface can achieve with a little funding,I wanna fund him TOO!

We must cut Boniface some slack…And let the kid catch a break.

I have disagreed with Boniface’s tactics of protests in the past,and even witten articles about it,but I have NEVER questioned Boniface’s zeal,determination, courage, drive,patriotism or honest desire for a better society.

Boniface is well on his way to bag the second NOBEL PRIZE for Kenya,while some of y’all rucketeers busy out here tryna accuse him of shit he didn’t to,call him things he isn’t,cast aspersions on his character,malign his name and issue him with hastily- patched Twitter court summons…

In the face of all these rehearsed adversity,I STAND WITH BONIFACE MWANGI.

To the last day of my breathe…Or his…

In the book of Matthew 13:57 Jesus said….

New International Version
And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “A
prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in
his own home.”

New Living Translation
And they were deeply offended and refused to believe in
him. Then Jesus told them, “A prophet is honored
everywhere except in his own hometown and among his
own family.”

English Standard Version
And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “A
prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in
his own household.”

Have Yourselves an honest day.

 

 

Last award season, Jared Leto and Lupita Nyong’o made headlines as the couple we all wished could be together and this year the Academy Award winners will be making their way back to the Oscars.

They will join Cate Blanchett and Matthew McConaughey to present this year’s Oscars hosted by Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother).

“The great tradition of having the previous year’s Oscar-winning best actors and actresses in all 4 categories happily continues this year with the amazing quartet of Cate, Jared, Matthew and Lupita.  We’re thrilled to have them back,” the show producers Crag Zadan and Neil Meron said in a statement.

The event  will air on Sunday, February 22.