Month: February 2015

Juja Member of Parliament is a man under siege after his antics threw him from a frying pan into the fire.

Mr. Francis Munyua has been accused by a female employee in the constituency’s CDF office of sacking her after she turned down his sexual advances towards her.

Early this week Ghafla reported that EXPOSED! Juja MP,Francis Munyua Shockingly Sacks Female Employee Via SMS For Refusing To Be His Mistress. (EVIDENCE) and now it seems things are not easy on the MP as the matter has been reported to the police.

Susan Wambui narrated to Inooro FM, a Kikuyu radio station of the ordeal she underwent after the MP sexual advances towards her hit a snag.

She accused the MP of sacking her through a text message after she refused to be his mistress.

Susan said that she is a married woman and she respects her marriage and could not give in to the legislator’s advances because he is also a married man.

The MP is now likely to lose his seat if found guilty as constituted in chapter six of the constitution which provides for integrity and credibility of public officers.

Susan’s case shows what exactly women are going through in offices countrywide.

Since the forceful shutdown of Kenya’s biggest television networks,social media has been awash with all manner of half-baked expositors attempting to,disastrously,explain away why the ‘Big 3’ networks had to go and why we really,truly need the much-touted Digital Migration.

 

Everyone’s been having a say on this very ubiquitous topic never mind that half of what the are saying is actually third rate balderdash.

Well,since I belong to that social media pool too,allow me to,albeit thoughtfully,delve into the topic too and throw around my two cents.

From what I have gathered (From actual sources and people who actually know what TV is all about) this digital migration thing is a godsend. And,truly,it is.

For starters,launching,owning and operating a television station won’t be so hard a task anymore. Or implausibly expensive like it has been the norm.

Secondly,content creators will finally not only have the big break they’ve always been yearning for,but also cash some real serious bucks.

Thirdly,Kenyans will have the chance to watch WHATEVER they wish…from a myriad of,say,100 channels….Aaaand that’s where the trick is.

In as much as we celebrate the vain fact that we will finally be free to choose what to watch besides the ‘boring’ programmes we’ve been accustomed to,we must also ask ourselves; What exactly is this KIND of entertainment that Kenyans have always been yearning for??

Kenyans are over the moon. Because,besides the Papa Shirandulas and the Beba Bebas and the Hapa Kules,they will finally be able to,while spattered across their creaking old couches,sipping some milk-deficient Ketepa tea,browse a legion of more channels for ‘more variety’.

Bullshit!

Not unless this ‘entertainment’ is being provided by foreigners,Kenyan artists,creators,actors and TV presenters DO NOT have any special trick in the bag. Kenyan would-be TV stars do not have any hidden talents they’re about to unleash. I mean,Our production prowess won’t just shoot up overnight.

Take it from me,it will either be the SAME OLD.

Or worse.

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Just like blogging,we are about to be launched into an either risque world or trashy universe where,in a bid to capture the viewers who ACTUALLY have a choice not to watch You,TV producers will unleash the trashiest and the most basic,third-rate,low-level and ratchet TV shows on You.

TV producers will be in a mad race to capture You. And by ‘entertaining’ You,hope to keep you. As a viewer.

Competition is good. But its also dirty. And the more the players,the cheaper the game.

If we have a billion TV stations,who is going to watch what?? How can content producers and would-be TV producers hope to cash in and make it big when they are not even sure,given the insane number of TV channels anyway,anyone is going to watch them in the first place??

To nab viewers,and make them watch whatever nonsense You are broadcasting,standards must be lowered. Reaaalllly low.

Ethics will be thrown out of the window. And in a bid to grab the all-valuable viewer,TV will be inundated with all manner of trash and crap and lies and scandal and hyperbole. All for shock value.

Just like the Kenyan blogging industry,which has now been chocked by a million bloggers,most of whom are inept school drop-outs who can’t read and write,TV is taking that trashy direction.

I have seen ‘bloggers’ post the most arrant lies and most egregious stories in a bid to gain the traffic and make that dollar.

Knowing that Kenya is a haven of blogs,with a hundred new ones been created daily,these despicable analphabetic ‘bloggers’ will do anything,write anything,in a bid to shock you,capture You,win You and make You their reader. Or subscriber.

And TV, just like blogging,may go,no,actually,will GO that direction.

And instead of having to sit back and watch real entertainment that really edifies and lifts humanity at the same time,we shall have to settle for what I would call the ‘Classic 105’ effect.

Trash talk will be the order of the day. Sex chats will blow up our TV screens. It will be a world of dirt and scandal and slander and endless bedroom secrets talk shows. Ratchetness reloaded.

It’s about to get ugly. When the competition to capture the viewer starts,brace Yourself for the dilution of entertainment as we know it.

 

 

Welcome to the World of Trash.

Long Live the Digital Migration! I’m not sure I am eagerly looking forward to that alternative ‘entertainment’ though.

I mean,I have internet. And that’s about all I need. For now.

 

Many of us wear torn things, torn socks, worn out shoes even tattered underwear but when a politician appears in public with a pair of something torn, it sparks a huge debate and scorn.

The last victim of public ridicule over torn items of clothing was Kidero whose wife was forced to apologize over his torn socks.

After issuing a heartfelt apology she promised that she would be keener in future to ensure that this wardrobe malfunction would never happen again. The late Josephine Watiri also got some serious heat coming her way after her husband appeared in public with  a pair of worn out socks.

Now Kenyans are talking about Raila’s torn shoe after it appeared on Standard Digital:

Photo:Standard Digital Mbugua Kibera
Ngira Wa Ngira: Ehehehe a sign enough that he is really working harder day and night to transform the livelihood of kenyans as well as his own.

Alfy Lavie: Bored camera man.. raise his pay so that he can capture important images

Micky Mugah: Kama huyo ni #baba na watoto je?

Nixon Bett :Okoa kiatu

Collins Ochieng: Ehehehe….this are the people who work harder for this nation wengine ni others

Hussein Muktar: Operation saidi viatu…….sema ku beat nayo…retire uende ukavue

Faith Mikoli: Kiatu inahusiana aje na maisha yake…kwani ni roho imeraruka?

Davies Ni Reloaded:  I pity our generation.I remember Franklin Bett as a minister with a torn shirt wakenya tukaongea chafu sana.does it mean in our homes hakuna anything torn???hahaha some have torn hearts in pieces…kudos baba u’re simple with ua laughing shoes u represent us in AU Mission in Lesotho

He has been voted to be the best Senator ever, I hear that some people are even planning to vote him president-If it come to that, then we shall all smile and say, “Look forth ye all of little faith, there stands  our sheng speaking, bling wearing turned up president..” 

 For the past couple of months, Sonko has been making sure that Nairobi residents have a better place to live in, In a city that has been voted as the most intelligent in Africa, trivialities are bound to happen and rapid response to these happenings is crucial, It saves lives. A month ago when a building collapsed at Huruma, Sonko and his rescue team, that comprises of high end cars and an ambulance rushed to the scene and attended to those that got hurt at the accident. 

There is nothing better in this world than giving hope to the desolate, Sonko is doing just that, giving people a reason to believe that there is hope for a better day. 

While many people argue that this is for the show, we cannot deny that the Senator had done a great deal for the Nairobians, Whether it is PR or not, as long as people get helped. 
He has recently added to his fleet, several hot cars to join in the cause.

Photos: 

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 2. It is called, Response in style, some people might even call it “lanes” 

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At the Oscars on Sunday Lupita proved that benyond the money and fame,she was still down with her family, at the red carpet she introduced her brother to a host of A list celebrities who had made an appearance. 

First, it all begun with Beyonce, then Emma Stone, the lady that I consider as one of the best dressed females in the world. Peter also met Vin Diesel on the same night, but the cream of the cake was when he was introduced to Jared Leto, the actor par excellence and resident band member of the 30 Seconds to Mars, -an emotive hardcore band. 

So why was he Introduced to Jared Leto? Was it just a formality at the red carpet? Or did they bump into each other and got acquainted? If you haven’t forgotten, Lupita and Jared have been rumored to have been a couple severally, they broke up and K’naan came into the picture, Now that rumors have it that Lupita and K’naan broke up about a month ago, the ex boyfriend,Jared seems to be creeping back into Lupita’s life! But we  don’t blame her, It is every girl’s dream to date a rockstar!

Anyway, Whatever sails her boats. Here are other celebrities that Peter met at the Oscars.

1. Emma Stone – Beautiful smile, but I’m not really sure about that dress though. 

 

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2. Peter and Vin Diesel –Hope he asked him when they plan to release the Fast 7! 

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3. The Icing on the Cake: Peter and Jared Leto  

Proper rockstar, they even took a black and white pic while getting all goofy, look at that look on Jared’s face,that tongue thingy, he is saying, Yo bro, I nailed yo sister.. “

Lost in the city of angels
Down in the comfort of strangers
I found myself in the fire burned hills
In the land of a billion lights

Jared, you better hook up Peter with Taylor Swift or Hayley Williams. 

The week has reached its midpoint today; certainly a good news since the Month is also winding up and folks will soon get to reap from their sweat. Today being Ladies’ night, one can only expect revellers to throng the numerous city clubs to enjoy themselves. Crossing over to hot stories, below are the trending articles that will excite you this Wednesday morning:

#1Kenyans Have Zero Chills! The Way They Mercilessly Stripped KTN After Announcing It Has Migrated To The Web Will Make You Laugh All Day Long

#2New Girl Breaks The Internet! (Hot Photos)

#314 Kenyan Male Celebrities Who Must Be Really ‘Freaky’ In Bed (+18)

#4Catherine Kamau Declares Her Undying Love For Former Tahidi High Actor

#5Who Between Larry Madowo and Jeff Koinange is The Ultimate TV Star? The People Have Spoken

#63 Popular Celebrities Who Have Tried Copying President Uhuru’s Style, Elegance And Flair (Photos)

#7Mutahi Ngunyi Of The Tyranny Of Numbers Blasts K24 And KBC. See What He Said

#8See The Special Treat Citizen TV’s Sarah Hassan Was Given In Hollywood (Photos)

#9After Being Taken To Court Over Ksh 229, 505 Bill at Intercontinental Hotel, Disgruntled Musician Now Wants to Talk To Jeff Koinange, Churchill or Maina Kageni

#10Meet The Man Who Is Brave Enough To Give Citizen TV’s Mzazi Willy Tuva A Run For His Money (Photos)

Meeting Beyonce for the first time is bound to be a big deal, especially for first timers. Lupita’s brother,who has been hanging out with the avante garde of Hollywood is a testimony, He was introduced to Beyonce last sunday by her sister Lupita Nyong’o. Overwhelmed at having met the superstar, a photo was taken to seal the moment in one photo that would last for a lifetime.

 And now, It seems, the Nairobi Senator was  not happy at being left out, he decided to be part of the whole Beyonce arrangement, As it happens, every time a photo makes rounds, Sonko is always part of it, It all started with the photoshop on the late Nelson Mandela, and others followed suit. 

Here is the latest:

 

Turns out that Lupita and Sonko are family. lol 

After its very successful premiere in Nairobi, (Screenings continue 7pm everyday at Prestige and IMAX has 6 daily screenings at ARFA Lounge) with scores of Kenyans falling in love with it, Fundi-Mentals now strives to conquer the rest of the world.

Very few Kenyan movies can claim to have a worldwide release. Fundi-Mentals is one of the few. Premiering online at www.udala.com on the 27th of February. Kenyans and Africans in the diaspora searching for a taste of home don’t have to look very far. You can watch this uber crazy movie too.

If you’re in Kisumu, you will not be left out. Fundi-Mentals is coming to Planet Media Cinema on the 27th of February. (Check cinema listings for timings) and it will screen at the Cinema for one week. Please carry all your friends and relatives and find out why Nairobians fell in love with this crazy sexy comedy after watching it.

A hilarious movie from the makers of House of Lungula, which also had a successful premiere in Mombasa, Fundi-Mentals will be making its way to the Ocean front on March 20th. Coasterians now have a chance to get in on the crazy only at Nyali Cinemax. You better be there. Our lovely cast will be at the premiere so ready your red-carpet dresses..

STARRING: Gerald Langiri, Charlie Karumi, Florence Nduta, Lizz Njagah, Kalekye Mumo, Neomi Ng’ang’a, Veronica Waceke, Ruth Maingi, Milkah Ndegwa and Ojiambo Ainea.

 

 

SYNOPSIS

Joseph (Gerald Langiri) and his assistant Moses (Charlie Karumi) like to think of themselves as the Best Fundis in Kinoo, despite their unorthodox methods. But the entry of a new Multinational Service Company in town throws all this in jeopardy. To avoid going out of business, they introduce to their female customers a new type of Ex-press service with hilarious results!

 

When you are on the mean streets of Twitter, you got to act right because one slip up, and you are on the floor, getting some serious shade thrown your way.

One young lady known for the infamous You Tube channel “Harsh Tag” got a harsh response after she tried taking shots at Lupita Nyongo’s boobs.But i bet she did not expect this kind of comeback:

 

Wewe na boobs zako haujawai pata hata chaguo la teeniez RT @AishaWanjiku_: 6000 pearls on her dress yet her boobs still missing

 

Thirstland holler? You good? There is a new girl in town, she has literally broken a part on the intenet, and by the look of things, she is  well oon her way to breaking the other chunk. Her name? I’m not even sure, she is as elusive AF, but they have given her  the name of Karina, this lady is beautiful! She models for a clothing line in town. What do you think? Hit or miss?

 

 

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Photo Credits: Linen & Khaki. 

It came as a shocker to the residents of Tasia when the police apprehended and arrested 101 Ethiopians who were living in a 3 bed-roomed house at Tasia. The mob were said to be on their way to South Africa and had stopped over in Kenya to finalize their entry into south Africa later on.

 The tricky part is that 101 men were in a 3 bed roomed house. What they were discussing is still a mystery, -They were probably deliberating on 101 ways of staying in Kenya without legal documents  or 101 ways of escaping police dragnets as an illegal immigrant.

Residents reveal that the Ethiopians had been dropped at the residence by buses and had stayed indoors since. Three Kenyans have since  been arrested for aiding the Ethiopians. This is the stone rolling downhill, only that this time the stone will be collecting moss, seems like someone has been sleeping on his job. 

Source: Daily Nation. 

Since the automatic shutdown of four TV stations in protest of forceful migration to digital broadcasting, K24 and KBC TV have enjoyed presence in many Kenyan households as the only TV stations offering news and locally produced content.

Kenyans have remained without option for almost a month but to religiously watch K24 and KBC.

This has made political analyst Mutahi Ngunyi furious and talking about the two TV stations. The famously remembered Mutahi who is associated with his phrase Tyranny of Numbers that came to pass has blasted the two TV stations saying they are insulting Kenyans’ intelligence.

How is this happening? Mutahi feels that K24 and KBC have become too egocentric and that they are giving out their content egoistically, therefore determining what Kenyans should and/or should not see.

Mutahi has gone ahead to call for an immediate return of the three major TV stations that have remained shut down following the row between CAK and the three media stations.

He, however, thinks the three are also very ugly and calls them ugly sisters.

So what is all this negative perception people tend to have towards the fourth estate in Kenya? Mutahi Ngunyi knows this better.

They call her the Jill of all trades and master of them all.

This is because she has managed to make a name for herself as a DJ in a world dominated by men and at the same time created a name for herself as an award-worthy actress. Her name is Pierra Makena.

She recently starred in a movie, titled “When Love Comes Around” that included Nigerian bad boy Jim Iyke, former Ghanaian Big Brother housemate Confidence Haugen, TV personality Eku Edewor and others. A film that scored 7 nominations at the Ghanaian movie awards BEFORE its premier.

It seems she has now set her sights on Hollywood. And as it turns out, Lupita was not the only Kenyan who made it to the Oscars, Pierra Makena was also there, from a distance, she was at universal Studios

 

Thought Sarah Hassan was only a celebrity in Kenya? Well she was given VIP treatment during her visit to the home of the movies, Hollywood.

So Lupita Nyong’o isn’t the only Kenyan riding high in Hollywood! Sarah Hassan took her beauty and elegance to America where she was given a special treat at Warner Bros.

Warner Bros is an American media company that makes film, television and music entertainment. It’s the studio that brought us Mickey Mouse and many other movies including the blockbuster, Batman.

The beautiful Kenyan actress was given an exceptional tour of Warner Bros studio where she got to personally see batman’s popular toys. His distinctive car from the latest 2012 movie; The Dark Knight Rises.

The Wedding show host couldn’t hide her joy after the visit, she decided to be philanthropic and shared some of the pictures she took during the special visit.

At the Warner Bros VIP studio tour, and since they are celebrating 75years of batman, all the batmobiles were on display!!! And they work!!! So many pictures from the sets of #2brokegirls #bigbangtheory #friends #prettylittleliars #themask #trueblood #hartofdixie #stalker #thementalist #ER #toooomany!!! I shall share!! Loved my day today

 

After a few glitches in her otherwise flawless red carpet reign, Lupita Nyong’o stole the show at the 87th Annual Academy Awards in a regal Calvin Klein dress.

The Francisco Costa created dress was made using 6,000 pearls and for the attention and rave reviews  it got, it was worth the time and money spent on it. Lupita topped the look with Chopard jewels and Nicholas Kirkwood Casati  slingback pumps with real white Swarovski pearls on the  platform.

 

The award winning ensemble (Photo: L. Nyong’o)

 

And her outfit cost quite the fortune but the dress took the cake , as it cost t $150,000  just for the pearls,  that is around 13 Million Kshs. The earrings are diamond so they are expensive and her fancy satin-silk shoes with pearl embellishments cost  £487.50 minus tax, so that is about 68,800 Kshs plus.

Lupita has certainly made it, she is playing in the big leagues, and that is with one Oscar, just imagine how much she would do with 3 Oscars!

 

 

Controversial provocateur, Kingwa Kamencu, is now chasing after his former Ugandan boyfriend after learning he was nominated for the prestigious Nobel Peace Prize.

Kingwa Kamencu’s ex-boyfriend, Victor Ochen, was nominated for the world’s most admired award for his impressive work with his African Youth Initiative Network that is credited for promoting the transitional justice process, youth leadership and human rights in Northern Uganda.

The 33-year-old Ugandan lawyer-cum-activist goes down history book as the youngest African to be nominated to the Norwegian peace prize.

                                       Victor Ochen

 

Upon learning of Ochen’s incredible global recognition, Kingwa proclaimed a mission to travel to the pearl of Africa in search of his ex-lover.

The former presidential candidate lusts for Ochen’s high quality genes.

This is the point at which I travel to Kampala in search of all my Ugandan boyfriends that have fled from me. These are high quality genes!

 

 

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But are Kingwa’s claims true or is it just a case of infatuation? The lady has recently been making claims she can’t substantiate just like controversial businessman, Paul Kobia.

See also: 10 Reasons To Prove Controversial Businessman, Paul Kobia, Has Totally Gone Crazy. Number Six Will Throw You Off The Chair

Just a day to Valentine’s day, Kingwa was offering her body to team Mafisi for Kes 5 million while the other day she wanted sleep with a handsome pastor before she could accept Christ.

Ask me what my opinion is regarding her latest claim (Kingwa claiming Ochen was once her boyfriend) then I will tell you she is bluffing.

One can’t stop but wonder whether this lady is walking the Paul Kobia way. Has Kingwa Kamencu turned out to be a total wacko? Guess only time will tell.

 

 

Poverty is one thing that many people frown upon, but the good thing about it is that it’s never permanent. Unless you are stuck in a caste system such as the Indian one, then you stand a chance of elevation, a chance to change your destiny.

And that is through hard work and maybe a little help from the right people as Dr Ofweneke wrote.

This is what he put in writing:

After high school I knew i had a burning dream for radio comedy and there was nothing that was gonna stop me from it,Even working at an Mpesa shop and later a Cyber Cafe Administrator was not gonna stop my dream,I rem i used to go all the way to Komarock from Kibera just to record demos because thats thevonly free studio i could get.I took my demos to all radio stations hoping that someone would give me a call but none ever did,I rem going to a top english radio station and chased away by security guards twice for bieng to persistant….My last option was Milele Fm or i throw in the towel and go back to Law class,with my white loofers which now looked brown in color,a rugged brown trouser that looked like a hip-star,a white tshirt and a sweater that made me smell so much sweat enough for a deodrant advert I sat down at their gate waiting for their Head Of Programs,Titi Nagwalla,I was chased again by the guard so went and sat some where for chapati-madondo….Titi Nagwalla found me around the gate, took me in did a demo and told me “….Kesho by 6 make sure you here!” That morning i was there…..the rest is a history of patience,tears,self-doubt but I overcame.As i celebrate 5 YEARS today in my journey of comedy I thank God forbthe much I have acheived and the more am gonna achieve!! THANK YOU DADDY!! #ThisIsOnlyTheBeginning #IDintComeToThisWorldToEscortOthers #ThisFarIHaveComeHeIsMyEbenezar