Month: June 2013

Episode after episode, premier dating show, Tujuane, is getting better. After featuring a foreign lady who exhibited maturity and duty (something that most of the ladies in the past episodes lacked) in the last episode, the show has another surprise for its fans.

This week’s Tujuane is billed to be interesting as Ogopa’s artist Colonel Mustapha will be on the show; not as a guest host but the one on a date. In a snippet released by the TV show, Colonel Mustapha asks one of dates for a sleepover much to the surprise of the chic.

It has not been clear who Mustapha has been dating after he broke up with fellow singer Marya and that’s the reason why he’s looking for a date on Tujuane.

However, news that Mustapha will on Tujuane on Tuesday has not been received well by the show’s fans who are disapproving the move. Here are some of the objections;

Michael Bullut: I see this episode flopping big time!

Amos Mancunian Mbugua: Yeah right..ati moustapha anatafuta dame tujuane,acheni kutu enjoy, sasa apa ni kujaribu kumarket show..jst bring random people,you dont have to bring celebrities to make the show interesting

Maria Kombo: celebrity lookin 4 a chick in Tujuane.this crazy u cnt be C’rias…

George Deche: ONE WORD……. SCRIPTED!!

Runjaws Mututhohour Timer: mko poa lakini?that promises to be pathetic

Byankagichuki Terry: this is nt real,try bring guys who r nt recognizd

Here’s the teaser;

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Today is the morning right after Nigeria were sent home from the Confederations Cup by Spain. We played well but the better team (save for Busquets) won. With that said, it is also the first weekday after the Smirnoff Experience went down at Santa Fe. And boy was it a resounding success.

But that is a story for later! And with that said, allow me to keep you informed on the hottest stories in Kenya’s entertainment scene:

#1. Mike Sonko Leaves Kahawa Tungu With His Mouth Wide Open

#2. Artist Opens Up About Link To Illuminati!

#3. Octo Goes On Hits Not Homework, Says Beef A Rumour Started By Ghafla! Then Gets Dissed By Abbas!

#4. Big Brother Africa Updates: Housemates Confess About How Horny They Are!

#5. Love Triangle captured On KTN! Man Finds His wife In The Act With Another Man When They Get Stuck Together! (VIDEO)

#6. Photo Of The Day: Eric And Fred Omondi Back In The Day Before The Fame!

#7. Kenya’s First Openly Homosexual Artist Releases A Christian Gospel Song

#8. Ghafla Expose Results In Death Threats To This Top Gospel Artist! Find Out Why Here!

#9. Gado Teaches Us The MPs Version Of The Lord’s Prayer! This Is Hilarious!

#10. Big Brother Update: Biggie accused of favoring Pokello because ‘he liked her sex tape’

I saw this cause Caroline Mutoko was supporting, and decided that it was a worthy enough cause for Ghafla! to amplify, aside from our usual reporting.

Help Eric Fight the battle with Burkitts Lymphoma Burkitts lymphoma is a form of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in which cancer starts in immune cells called B-cells. Recognized as the fastest growing human tumor, Burkitts lymphoma is associated with impaired immunity and is rapidly fatal if left untreated. However, intensive chemotherapy can achieve long term survival in more than half the people with Burkitt lymphoma. Eric Njuguna, 15 years old, has Burkitts Lymphoma.

He is currently undergoing intensive treatment in BLK Kapur Hopspital in India. However – his medical cover has run out and the money rasied galantly by family and friends Kshs.515,000 has also run out. They are now in a situation where the hospital has drawn a line – no cash, no treatment.

How can you help?

1. Mpesa Number 0712-337372

2. Mpesa Direct to the account Paybill No:700201 Account No:0230265021267101

3. Make out cheques to Account Name: Everlyn/Kanana/Carol

4. Make Direct Deposits to Bank: Ecobank Branch : Valley Arcade Account Name: Everlyn/Kanana/Carol Account No:0230265021267101

5. For those outside of Kenya do bank transfers to Bank: Ecobank Branch : Valley Arcade Account Name: Everlyn/Kanana/Carol Account No:0230265021267101 Branch Code : 23 Swift Code : ECOCKENA

I didn’t used to enjoy myself at Changes. Then something changed. I don’t know what it is… Maybe it’s the fact that the security team is awesome. They don’t just pound on people for laughs.

Maybe it’s the music. I love it when Kaytrixx the Entertainer or DJ Creme are spinning. Maybe It’s the pricing of their beers. I honestly have no… No! It’s definitely that Dean effect!

Dean definitely brought some shine into Changes nights. And tonight is no different! Tonight be prepared for one of the most epic nights of your short party life! Be prepared to party hard and have the time of your young life! Why? Well because everything about the Changes formular is right! No need to spend collosol ammounts only to end up buying 1 bottle. No need to spend 500 on a beer!

Then there’s the music. You will be dancing to one of Nairobi’s hottest DJs and don’t front like you can do better because there is no club aroun with this kind of line up! NONE!

You think you can flex? TYhen come out to Changes tonight and try to front! If Creme doesn’t have you dancing, you’re either a zombie out for brains or your idea of a good time is getting a croissant at Artcaffe!

Ladies and gentlemen, party animals and Kenyans of every persuasion, this Saturday there will be a rewound edition of Smirnoff experience incase you missed the last edition. Wait, that introduction did the experience no favours!

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to party! And no one will have a hotter party than Santa Fe this Saturday night! Why? Because this Saturday night, Santa Fe is more than just a rave haunt! It’s more than just another rave night out on the town. It’s an experience!

And Smirnoff will be giving you the best of the cocktails! I’m talking about Black Mambas and whatnot -for the ladies! Men drink vodka either with a chaser or neat! No cocktails!

And DJ Nruff is guaranteed to keep you dancing all night long so come out looking sharp and dapper lads and ladies, come out in that Little Black Dress you’ve been saving for the right night because I guarantee that this is it!

Trust me when I say you have no excuse not to look dapper!

Gado is not done with MPs and I doubt that he will be anytime soon. The illustrator who has worked for leading publications in and around East Africa not to mention West Africa has decided to use his satirical wizardry powers to ridicule and humiliate MPs and it is far from over!

Disgusted at their greed and sheer selfishness, he has just given us an in on how they say their version of the Lord’s Prayer. And here it is:

ladies and gentlemen, The Circle started just a few months back but it has already become a must attend for people tired of the same old scene at the regular monthly events. This has become a must attend for people who want to actually mingle and network with other upwardly mobile individuals.

This is the one place where whether or not camera gain access, you will not catch a ratchet individual in sight. I know, I have been at some of their events in search of ratchetness.

And this July, on the 6th, at the Nairobi Arboretum, you will get to interact and mingle with celebrities and like minded individuals while enjoyiing the best of P-Unit, Wyre who will be performing his new track featuring Alaine for the first time! You will dance to the mixes of DJ Wesley and the sexxy DJ Pierra Makena.

And Ghafla has a surprise for you that will be announced very soon!

Gloomy Friday after a blazing Thursday night at Changes! But who cares about the weather? Today is the day when Kenyans Protest against alleged racism at Artcaffe and everywhere else in Kenya! and as you enjoy your cuppa Joe and croissants, allow me to indulge you one of your guiltiest pleasures: the top ten stories causing ripples in Kenya’s entertainment scene:

 #1. I cannot believe that Jeff has edged me for the number one slot with 9 9NINE0 hits more than I have! He has 7989 while I have 7980! And this is the article that got him the number one spot: Here’s First Kenyan Artist To Declare He’s Gay. Find Out Who

#2. Big Brother Africa Update: After M4sturb4ting, Bolt Finally Bolted Betty! Video Of The S3x Escapade Leaked! (VIDEO)

#3. Photo of The Day: Beyonce’s Younger Sister Solange Enjoying A Bottle of Tusker

#4. Dennis Itumbi Unmasks Kahawa Tungu, The Man That Accussed Caroline Mutoko Of Having An Affair With The Late Mutula Kilonzo! Gives Irrefutable Proof! He Is…

#5. Citizen gets the final laugh in this soap opera! Poached K24 Journalists To Take a Pay Cut

#6. GHAFLA EXCLUSIVE: Bamboo And Joey Muthengi Dating!

#7. TV Show Host Takes Issue With Women Who Wear Stockings & Tights

#8. Top 5 Hottest BBA Contestants!

#9. Woman Calls Classic FM To Say That She Would Pay Hitmen To Kill Her Husbands!

#10. Read over 2,500 times it’s… My opinion *insert smug smile here* THE BRUTAL HONEST TRUTH: Uncle Chim Tuna Responds To Mista Majani And Artcaffe!

BONUS: Are You Still Angry About The Artcaffe Racism Allegations? Then Join The Protest! #OccupyArtCaffe! Details within This Article!

Kahawa Tungu caused more than just ripples when he announced to the country that Caroline Mutoko was the lady rumoured to have been the last person who saw the Hon. Mutula Kilonzo alive. And what was even more shocking was his assertion that the two were lovers!

Such allegations shatter lives! And what was even more shocking was the fact that he broke the story with such airs and confidence that many were sold to the rumour. Confidence had triumphed over truth!

But Caroline Mutoko is someone who isn’t easily cowed. She fights her battles down to the last! This instance was going to be no different! She came out with her guns blazing and even commenced legal action against the spectre known as Kahawa Tungulu.

But a Kenyan on Twitter in conjunction with Dennis Itumbi has unmasked Kahawa Tungu and it’s…

Robert Alai

And here is the evidence they gave in a series of tweets:

   @C_Nyakundih: After doing my own research I have realised that @KahawaTungu used to be the handle @kenyapolice SMH..CC @OleItumbi

    Chief Beef ‏@C_Nyakundih

@otienob @KahawaTungu @KenyaPolice @OleItumbi Follow this link and confirm what I am saying http://klout.com/#/KenyaPolice

   Dennis Itumbi ‏@OleItumbi 

@C_Nyakundih is right, someone opened a fake account for @KenyaPolice and later changed the handle to be @KahawaTungu cc @GhaflaKenya

    Chief Beef ‏@C_Nyakundih

@OleItumbi @KahawaTungu @GhaflaKenya But if you look at the updates very well you can know the one who runs it. Abuse of social media

    Kahawa Tungu ‏@KahawaTungu 

@C_Nyakundih Warthog has been suspended. He thinks that Twitter is for fools. We will close the account. @OleItumbi @GhaflaKenya

   Chief Beef ‏@C_Nyakundih 

@KahawaTungu Being suspended is not the end of life You are suffering from Old Age my friend . Retire from twitter @OleItumbi @GhaflaKenya

And after conducting extensive research of his own, Dennis Itumbi weighed in conclusively!

  Dennis Itumbi ‏@OleItumbi

On this matter @C_Nyakundih is right @KahawaTungu is the handle that was @Kenyapolice and the owner is one @Robertalai @GhaflaKenya

It would seem that just like me, alot of people have refused to accept the Artcaffe MD’s explanation of what transpired in what is now looking like their Croissaintgate Scandal and Kenyans have refused to take it lying! They are rallying together and the battle cry is “OCCUPY ARTCAFFE!”

And as I said in an article I put up today I will be in the ranks of protesters. That you can take to the croissant bank!

anyway, the protest is being organized by Zawadi Nyong’o and I pray she reaches out to Boniface Mwangi to help her in organizing the protest and I for one also hope that every self respecting Kenyan who can make it to the site of the planned protest turns up.

Kenya is a land of beautiful indigenous Africans, Asians and even Causians who have been here for generations but with that said, Uncle Chim Tuna will say that while I have never experienced racism, someone I love has and they cried about it. I will be damned if I let the struggle for self governance be trounced upon!

I urge every self respecting Kenyan to come to the protest whose details are still secret but I will reveal tomorrow! Come and let every racist the worl over know THAT THE AFRICANS IN KENYA WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS IN OUR OWN LAND!
While the incident is still alleged, judging by the number of cases now coming to light, this is an issue with credibility! As the Kikuyu say, the voice of the people is the voice of God. Let everyone who loves their skin colour, whether black as tar or light as caramel, whether Asian or European, people who believe in equality, arise and stand to be counted!

OCCUPY ARTCAFFE!

Listening to her single you won’t fail to notice some Destiny Child and Jennifer Lopez assertiveness because this is what makes this song stand out. Fusing Independent Woman and My Love Doesn’t Cost A Thing, this young artist emerges as the female version of singer Chicago in his song I Don’t Want Your Money.

Meet Mimi, a fly afro princess who is ready to prove to you that love can still flourish without money.

Her song is about bringing out the notion that money is not everything when it comes to relationships and men should step up their game and embrace virtues such as honesty and faithfulness. Money is just but a bonus but not everything, so Mimi brings out a different view of how to look at relationship matters without really basing it on money.

During her studies in Japan her passion of music came hitting hard and during her free time she kept composing songs and geared to focus on her passion once she came back to Kenya. She wrote a couple of songs and finally settled on recording ‘Step Up Your Game’.

To Mimi she now has a chance to revolutionize the industry through her music and by all means help nurture talent especially to young girls.

Here’s Mimi’s single Step Up Your Game;

The management of Artcaffe has released an official communication about the events on Tuesday now that the uproar online has subsided. In a statement posted on the outlet’s official online page, the management denied the bigotry accusations and that no arrest took place.

Here’s the statement;

The Artcaffe Family, would like to respond to the Facebook-generated account of what happened at the Village Market Artcaffe Bakery on June 18, 2013.

A customer approached our Village Market branch bakery for his regular purchase of croissants. He was sold a large number of croissants, approximately 50 per cent of the remaining stock. We were happy to have his business; the client was immediately served as per his order.

On noticing the large size of the order, the branch manager advised the customer that in future it would help Artcaffe if the customer made larger orders in advance.

Advanced orders help the bakery plan for the greater need, ensuring that pastries remain available for take-away and in-person customers.

The suggestion was not well received leading to a minor disagreement in which voices were raised. The client was asked to step out and calm down as he was interfering with other customers who were having their breakfast. He left and came back into the restaurant after a few minutes where he had a fruitful discussion with the management team before leaving with his croissants as per order.

In the end the matter was resolved amicably. The manager and customer shook hands and the customer stated that he would continue to be an Artcaffe customer.

NO arrest or threat of arrest occurred during or after the incident.

The disagreement was based purely on the size of the order and NOT on race.

As a Kenyan company we do not tolerate discrimination in any form in our establishment. We employ and support over 550 staff members and their extended families, living and working here in Nairobi.

We work very hard to ensure that our customers get great food and service every day.

Where we have an incident of poor client service we use it as a learning experience to ensure that we improve our customer experience. We encourage customers who have received poor service to lodge a complaint with us to enable us improve our services so that the experience is never repeated.

Artcaffe is and will continue to tirelessly work to improve our service.

We thank all our loyal customers who have stood by us and continue to show us their love and support. We strive to continue to provide you with the best service and food possible and look forward to continuing our lasting friendship.

Today is a rather cold, frigid and dreary Thursday. Indeed the day is as gloomy as Chege Miati’s demeanour! but Changes Pub over at Electric Ave has a plan that is guaranteed to heat up your day!

Tonight, as always, they have Kaytrixx the Entertainer to keep slinging those hits that are guaranteed to keep you on your feet! And you know nothing says party like an event graced by Kaytrixx!

Then they have one last proper shocker for you… You can get 3 local beers at 400/- only! Yep! And with such a bargain, you cannot afford to miss this awesome party! It is going to be one for the days! Or nights… Either way, the party is on tonight!

Meet you at Changes tonight!

PS: Antoneosoul & Yvonne Darcq are said to be making a guest appearance tonight.

Gado is a rather hilarious chap indeed! And he has found a way to inject some humour in the whole Chinedu deportation debacle in which Kenya refused to observe protocol and sent the suspected drug baron back to Nigeria without first informing the Nigerian High Commission here in Kenya.

This was what he had to say about the whole debacle:

Big Brother contestants seem frustrated that they have been induced  to spending their nights talking about s3x and the long period they have spent without having it at least according to Diamonds housemates; Melvin, Hakeem Beverly, Bimp, Bolt and Maria.

Last night, ‘the Chasers’ discussed at length their actual sexual starvation with Beverly being the center of the discussion. Hakeem asked Beverly what she’s going to do in these three long months for her demanding body.
In response, the Nigerian model told them  that she has no solution because there is no body in the house she’s to mate with. ” Even  if I am to do it, there’s no one here I like to do it with, LK4 is gone long time,”  Beverly added.

Reaching this point, her fellows suggested some other options besides the Ugandan prince LK4. Hakeem asked Beverly if she couldn’t do it with Nando who is also looking for a bonkmate. Beverly instead just laughed and raised no comment about the Tanzanian charmer….hmm, could she take this option?

As if those suggestions were not enough for Beverly, Melvin went ahead and told her that she can have sex with Bimp.  Talking about the Ethiopian guarded lad, Beverly said that she knows Bimp very well and he can’t do it…..If he could, was she ready to let him in?

Maria catalysed the talk when she added that Biggie himself expects them to make love in the house basing on the talk she  shared with him earlier in the day during her diary session. “I told biggie that the mating season is approaching and something might happen and he just said ‘hmm’,” Maria told her colleagues before she added that” Let’s sleep, this conversation is making me uncomfortable”. At this moment Hakeem wished good luck to Melvin who was sleeping next to maria.

Bolt threw a bomb shell that he knows of some girl in the House who asked Biggie for a vibrator!

Will Beverly budge to the pressure and finally have Sex in the house? And if so, with who ? Let’s wait and see…

[BBA Africa TV]

Yesterday, I left the office earlier than usual. For me that would be at 6:30pm. Yeah, I work hard for mine. And after I had left, I received a call from a friend and fellow Pan-Africanist. Said friend alerted me to an article done by Oga Big himself: THE BRUTAL HONEST TRUTH: ArtCaffe Doesn’t Need Black People To Stay In Business.

I read it but couldn’t respond until now. So here goes:

Dear Artcaffe Village Market manager YANIV STERNBERG,

You do not know me. I doubt that my complexion will work in my favour in that regard. But that being said, I am a proud African. Dark skinned, broad nosed, “nappy haired” and proud of my heritage. I heard allegations that you are a racist and to be honest the fact that you have not deigned it fit to respond to the allegations tells me that you are either too dense to grasp the importance of good Public Relations or too arrogant to respond to the black Kenyans complaining.

Whatever the case, all I am writing to do is to tell you that should Kenyans decide to stop whining on the internet and do something about your alleged racism, I will be the first amongst them to throw either fecal matter or pig blood at your elite monochromatic establishment. Uncle Chim Tuna has spoken as an individual and not for Ghafla. That is all. Go back to refusing indigenous Kenyans service until then.

Baba Ghafla,

Dear sir,

You! Why would you condone such bigotry? By outwardly showing indifference to the alleged racism, you are picking a side. To side with an alleged racist. An alleged racist who has allegedly taught his staff to despise their own skin colour. He has allegedly successfully colonised the minds of his staff to the point where they would spit into your food or take a bite from it if the claims made by Habida and the rest are anything to go by.

They would despise your hard earned money because you have a broad nose like theirs. But as is said, everyone has a right to an opinion: MINE.

I do not think you fully grasp the psychological and historic issues at hand. But those will not be discussed here because my laptop would suffer irreparable software malfunctions. With that said, if my cheque comes lighter this time round, I will understand. We’ll go and blow what’s left of it at Artcaffe!

As an update to this, the Artcaffe MD was on capital earlier today to clear the air. Read what he had to say here.