Month: October 2015

When you think about an instant sensation, what automatically comes to your mind? Is it Bro Ocholla? I know that’s what comes to mine.

Who knew the words voice, Cloud 9 and orgasms *coughs* put together in a sentence could make you famous? Well, that’s the predicament one Ocholla found himself in after he shared the right information in the wrong whatsapp group, in this case his church group.

He shared something to do with him giving a certain lady quite the orgasm while whispering sweet nothings in her ear and someone leaked the information on social media. The rest is history…..

I applaud Bro Ocholla, he’s got game alright but I don’t think good pipe game and a lovely voice to march are the only things you need to impress some of these Nairobi lasses. You need more and I mean a lot more.

You also need to dress well, you know, a good shirt, some good khaki pants all accessorized with good cologne; I suggest Sauvage by Dior. Further more you need to have some little money to spend and also be funny. Most importantly you need a car; trust me the jokes always sound funnier when cracked in some swanky car.

It’s a bit too much eeh? I know but I may be in a position to offer some assistance in the car department; the others you’ll just have to sort yourself out. All I need you to do is get on your phone after reading this and start communicating with your friends and family. You can even talk your boss as well if you have to but just make sure you communicate.

Whether on calls, texts, instagram, whatsapp, it really doesn’t matter as long you are using your airtel line. Through their Smartika na Airtel campaign, they are giving out some really fresh cars simply by doing that, communicating.

All you have to do is look out for a daily SMS which Airtel will send you, with your 5X target for the day. Once that is settled, make sure you Call, SMS and access data from your Airtel line so as to reach and ‘Fikisha’ your 5X target for the day

Once you FIKISHA your 5X target, you will get a Confirmation SMS on target achievement, as well as a complimentary 500% airtime bonus to use across all networks. You can use the 500% airtime bonus to browse, SMS and make calls across all networks.

You will then be automatically entered into the daily draw for a chance to win a Toyota Axio, as well as other daily cash and airtime prizes.

So start now and see yourself in the way of joining Bro Ocholla in Cloud 9.

Diamond Platinumz is just off a winning spree but already has an eye for even bigger projects.

Always with an eye for advancing his profile, Diamond took the opportunity to get a collaboration with Ne-Yo when he was around and it now appears we will not wait for long for the end result. Speaking with Willy M Tuva, the artist said the production is at advanced stages and only a few areas remain to be sorted out.

“Collabo Tayari Imeisha Tuko Katika Process Ya Kumalizia Vitu Vitu Fulani ili iweze Kuachiwa ila Siwezi Kusema Haswa Itaachiwa Lini Lakini Haitakuwa Na Muda Mrefu.” He went on to explain that the project was paused so as he could finish his engagement with the current happenings in Tanzania with the elections happening. As the whole world waits with bated breath for the release, there is no doubt that the song will be huge hit and would have a big impact on Diamond’s career and penetration in the international market.

Philanthropists’ party! Mgenge True and vibrant Kenya University Students Organization’s (KUSO) patron made their way to Kasarani for a worthwhile hangout.

Pulsating student leader, politician, philanthropist and motivational speaker, Steve Mbogo, was celebrating his birthday yesterday.

The KUSO chairman borrowed a left from SoNU chairman Babu Owino and decided to celebrate his birthday with the less fortunate.

Steve together with another philanthropist, Nonini, made their way to Maji Mazuri children’s home in Kasarani Nairobi to party with orphan kids.

The two celebrities brought the kids goodies and later on helped Steve Mbogo cut his birthday cake.

The Guinness get booked again campaign has been running for a few weeks now. If you haven’t jumped on it yet, now is the time. By going to your local pub and grabbing a bottle of Gino, you could get spotted and get booked. This will give you a chance to either win cash prizes or win a trip to watch your favorite EPL Team live in action.

If you are a Chelsea fan like me, you are probably too stressed to even watch another game on TV right now. It’s understandable. No one likes to watch their team loose again and again. But what if you were to vent your frustration together with 40,000 other fans? Wouldn’t it be more awesome? Of course it would.  Or better yet, you might witness the resurgence. Your first time at Stamford Bridge might herald the turnaround of Chelsea’s season. Maybe…..just maybe, you are the one with the good luck charm

So go grab a Guinness and stand a chance to watch your team live in England. The favor isn’t just restricted to those donning the color blue. If you are an Arsenal fan, you can still get to find out why Ozil disappears in games but still covers so much ground. You can get to see the footwork of Alexis too. Man United fans? Guinness has got your back too. How about being able to shout ‘Toa Huyo!” at the 70^th minute when Rooney is missing all those chances. Forget the cloud 9 that Bro Ocholla talked about. This is the real deal

And if you miss out on the golden opportunities, there is still plenty of stuff to be won. The Guinness App on Facebook gives you an opportunity to win plenty of prizes too.

Don’t wait any longer. Go to your pub or visit the Guinness Facebook page right now

Kesi Juma Mohammed famously known by his stage name Kaa la Moto Kiumbe is a coast based Hip hop singer who has decided to take it a notch higher. He has  decided to work with the Mombasa Governor Ali Hassan Joho on hard hitting collabo which is meant to tear up the dance floor. The coast music award winner has stayed relevant in the music industry for the last four years and he’s determined to ensure things remain that way. Kaa la Moto is well known for his Awesome rapping skills and that has obviously helped him collabo with big musicians in the coast.

Speaking at Wakilisha Night at Tribeka  on Tuesday night,The Mombasa based Hip hop artist revealed the things he is doing with Mombasa County Governor Ali Hassan Joho..Kaa la Moto says they go round seeking out drug addicts, where they talk to them mostly encouraging them that they can actually overcome Addiction.

The coastal Hip hop award winner insists that drug addicts should be well taken care of rather than being  isolated.

“Teja ni ndugu yako na dadayako”  He insisted.

Octopizzo says he would not mind doing a gospel song.

The hip hop head is pretty much open to a a collaboration with a gospel artiste but he has some expectation or better yet, conditions. First, the singer has an issue with the collaborations between gospel artistes and their secular counterparts as more often than not the secular artiste ends up failing to put his perspective on the song.

Thus he has set his own conditions for such an engagement. First he says the song has to be his idea, secondly, the song has to have a wider life story.Check out more of these conditions in the the full exclusive Ghafla interview below:

 

 

Is US going to have another President with Kenyan roots? Too early to start celebrating but billionaire Donald Trump is now playing second fiddle to Ben Carson.

Popular American neurosurgeon and author, Ben Carson, has seized the national lead from Donald Trump in a new national poll.

Carson who revealed he traces his ancestry in Turkana area has been trailing the hardliner tycoon ever since Republican primary race started.

See Also: Revered American Author And Neurosurgeon, Ben Carson, Reveals He Is Kenyan. Guess Which Part Of The Country He Hails From?

The results of a poll conducted by CBS News/New York Time which was released before yesterday’s third Republican presidential primary debate, showed Carson was leading nationally with 26% while Trump closely shadowed him at 22%.

Other Republican presidential hopefuls only managed to score 8% and below.

• Ben Carson — 26 percent

• Donald Trump — 22 percent

• Marco Rubio — 8 percent

• Jeb Bush — 7 percent

• Carly Fiorina — 7 percent

• Rand Paul — 4 percent

• Ted Cruz — 4 percent

• John Kasich — 4 percent

• Mike Huckabee — 4 percent

Kenyans warmed up to news about Carson’s lead with many causing quite a fuss on social media.

The head of state is undergoing some sort of cultural orientation in the world’s second most populous nation.

Baba Ngina departed for New Delhi, India last Tuesday to join other heads of states and governments for the third India-Africa summit.

President Uhuru is in the Asian nation bolster bilateral relations and I hear he has already inked a deal with India. As in Kenyans will no longer have to fly to the populous nation to seek medical treatment.

Uhuru’s deals aside, the commander in chief is making mouths wag after he was spotted donning Indian attire.

Unye was attending a dinner hosted by Indian Prime Minister, Narendra Modi, in honor of African heads of state and governments that visited his country.

Uhuru decided to rock Indian outfit as he attended the dinner. See photos below;

Wah! The weatherman didn’t lie, the rain that is pounding Nairobi seems to be ushering in El Nino. It ain’t stopping. So there is this infamous Bukusu ninja in Bungoma, have you heard about him? The dude is a boda boda operator who has unrivaled appetite for sleeping with young primary school girls, in cheap lodges of course. The ‘Wafula’ was busted and angry Bungoma residents wanted to lynch him, lucky the police were quick to intervene. Bungoma madness aside, below are the hottest stories on your site this Thursday morning:

#1Bro Ocholla’s Wife Responds To the Incident That Made Her Husband Famous

#2After The Nakuru Woman Confessed To Sleeping With Fresh Bodies, Here Are 4 Of The Most Explosive Kenyan Phone Calls Ever

#3Billionaire Chris Kirubi And Other Wealthy Nairobians Pour Their Millions On A Kenyan TV Program Set To Air Starting This Weekend (Photos)

#4Daylight Gun Robbers Caught On Camera Ripping Off Motorists Plying Southern Bypass Before Shooting In The Air Indiscriminately (Video)

#55 Reasons Why Bro Ocholla Is An Idiot

#6‘It Was Meant For My Wife’ Bro.Ocholla Finally Responds To His Trending Prayercell Texts

#7Caught On Camera: Jalango Is Just Another Lousy Drunkard. See How He Gets Naughty In The Clubs After Being Intoxicated

#8This Is Why Twitter Has Censored Cyprian Nyakundi’s Trending Hashtag

#9‘Stubborn’ Mombasa Tycoon Refuses To Die After Wife And Maid Poisoned And Hired Hitmen At Kes 1.2 Million To Kill Him (Photos)

#10In Pictures: Chris Kirubi’s Expansive Ranch In Kiambu

With no doubt the two women Juliani treasures most are his wife Brenda and their adorable little daughter.

It thus comes without question much of what he does they have a bearing in it especially when it is about ladies. This is true in one of the singles he has released this month, ‘Wezesha dada inua jamii’ the rapper takes time to celebrate women and champion their cause. Before you ask me what this has got to do with being a dedication other than my far stretched title, there is even a verse to his daughter’

You can trust such a song to go unnoticed in the multitude of the other noise but you can also trust me to get it to you. Here is the video.

 

Meerkat Productions Ltd, producers of the musical theatre show Out of Africa: Safari through Magical Kenya are working on their next big show that is set to tour BENELUX and Scandinavia in 2016.

Meerkat Productions Ltd, a local production house has partnered with theatres across Europe to stage 30 musical theatre performances to showcase Kenyan culture through music and market the country’s dynamic tourism destinations and culture in Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg and Scandinavia.

The Musical theatre show company had its first successful showcase in Nairobi, Kenya in February 2010 with the musical Daughters of Africa which it toured for sixteen weeks in Netherlands and Belgium for 90 successful shows that was watched by over 50,000 people. The musical was staged for The Queen Maxima (of the Netherlands) during the official Premier of the show, H.E Mr. Kofi Annan during the Sustainability Conference and for the International corporate Society of Amsterdam in June 2010. 4,500 CDs and 1,500 DVDs of the show were sold during the tour.

 

 

Out of Africa: safari through Magical Kenya was booked in 76 theatres across Europe in 2011 and 2012 and weaved together a team of local expert choreographers and artistic directors from Kenya and Amsterdam. Popular local artists such as Amileena Mwenesi (Finalist Tusker Project fame), Anto NeoSol (musician, performer and radio presenter), Mkamzee Mwatela (Mali lead actor), Richie Onyango (Finalist-The presenter), Patricia Kihoro (Finalist Tusker Project Fame) and Charles Ouda (popular script writer) were all part of the Out of Africa theatre show. The show sold 5,000 CDs and 1,200 DVDs.

Meerkat Productions is currently holding artistic workshops. Richie Onyango, Mkamzee Mwatela, Alison Nyawira among other popular and upcoming local artists who will participate in the show next year. The musical will be launched in December 2015.

The Lord’s angels must be watching over him. Mombasa tycoon cheated death conspired by his wife and maid, more than once.

The tale of one Polycarp Ouma aka Kamili is that of a man who is determined to live. Attempts on his life were made by none other than his own wife and the house help.

Rose Adhiambo and her mboch, Doris Akinyi, conjured up a plan to finish Polycarp on different dates between October 20 and 26.

Rose wanted his husband dead so that she could become the sole owner of property worth millions of shillings.

Sources say Rose attempted to rob her hubby of his life by poisoning him, but when he survived, she sought the services of expert killers from Kisumu.

Police Constable Dominic Kiptum says Rose was nabbed at KCB Nyali branch withdrawing Kes Sh1.2 million which she was to use to pay hitmen to down her husband.

Rose together with her accomplice were arraigned were arraigned in Court where Resident Magistrate Viola Yator ordered that they be locked up due to the gravity of their offense, until the mentioning of their case on Monday 9^th November 2015.

Credit: Daily Nation

Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, who was the second? Exactly, not many people are concerned with ‘number 2s’. Now you understand why the media is obsessed with Professor Jay forgetting the other Bongo celeb who vied and lost.

Tanzanian election commission has already announced the results of all the contested parliamentary seats in their country.

All attention was shifted Joseph Haule popularly known as Professor Jay, after he rubbed off completion to clinch the parliamentary seat he was eyeing.

See Also: Bongo Hip Hop Head Professor Jay Elected Mp

But Professor Jay isn’t the only Bongo celebrity who contested the Tanzanian elections. Veteran comedian Rashid Mwinsheshe aka Kingwendu contested for Kisalawe parliamentary seat, unfortunately majority of the voters thought he wasn’t good enough.

Kingwendu vied on Chama Cha wananchi (CUF) ticket (an affiliate party of the opposition Chadema). The comedian hasn’t given up on his dream to be called ‘honorable’.

He’s already gearing up for 2020 elections.

“Namuomba pia mwenyezi Mungu aniweke salama ili mwaka 2020 kama nitakuwepo hai nitaingia tena kwenye kinyang’anyiro.” Kingwendu disclosed after conceding defeat.

 

 

 

At 31 years old, Lupita made almost all her dreams come true. She made her big break in Hollywood, bagged an Oscar among other awards, got to feature in a historical film and graced plenty of magazine covers.

But despite all this, Lupita reveals what her biggest achievement is, something that may come as a surprise to many.

“For me, my biggest accomplishment has been being able to wake every day, look myself in the mirror and still like myself, still know who I am, keep those who know me very well very close. I’m very proud of that.” she reveals to CNN’s Robyn Kriel in a new episode of ‘Leading Women’.

She also talks about her position as a role model and how she would like that image to be portrayed. “I think I’m been given a unique platform and I don’t take it lightly and I embrace it. The fact that many people are watching me and looking up to me, I think it’s important to have that, especially as Africans, we’re starved of those positive images. I’m very honoured to be one of those positive images on a global level because I am a child of Africa and I have gotten to where I’ve gotten not with any form of denial of where I’m from.”

 

 

And On joining WildAid as Global Elephant Ambassador Lupita says that “Outside of acting, right now, I have just become a global ambassador for WildAid which is an elephant conservancy organization trying to popularize being ivory free and saving elephants from extinction because at the rate we’re going, in about ten years, we’re going to have no more elephants. It’s definitely a passion of mine and I’m looking forward to the work that I’m going to do with that organization. Other than that, I like to cook and spend time with my friends and watch movies and I love to dance.”

Check out the full interview today at 5:30 PM CET on CNN International

A drunk Jalango has a very coarse voice, way scratchier than a pregnant frog croaking on the bank of river Mara.

Felix Odiwuor popularly known as Jalango is funnier when he is under the influence alcohol. He makes them girls want a piece of his.

A wasted Jalango was spotted in a club enjoying quality time with fellow celebrities and some pretty ladies who were all over him.

Jalango was in company of the one and only Gabu of P Unit and Mluhya wa Busia aka Kristoff, and they were all liquored up like crazy.

The trio were arguing like typical drunkards in a drinking den somewhere in Kibera. Bottles of liquor were glued on their hands and they kept on singing ‘Am so dirunk…’

Of course they were caught on camera in alcohol state of mind. Watch the clip below;

The music industry can be quite unfair at times. Artists get to invest time and resources into a song and then it performs averagely on charts and YouTube views.

Everyone agrees it a great even classic song but somehow the listeners, DJs and radio hosts seem to have a different perception. Then the same artist or a different one can go to a studio, spend a few times or even more time but the product comes out average and cheap.

Then somehow that is what gets to dominate airwaves and mixes and garners considerable views. Trying to make sense of this all can be quite a hard process so I will just give you five songs done this year, that became hits yet you and I and even the artists can agree they were not the best they have done or can do, just average songs.

Dandia

By all means Kristoff , Frasha and King Kaka’s track is just an average club song. Do not even lie to yourself that this is a feel good clubbing song. In it are some of the lamest lyrics either artist has come including the now infamous ‘Siezi isha me si bundles Ju wakiniona wanamelt kama candles’. Even the beat and the video has got nothing to write home about. Yet by all measures it became a hit, inspired two replies and is almost in all street mixes.

Tukumbukeko

That is the best title really! As if we had not had enough of the accent based comedians, Majirani decides to harm our ears with lines like; ‘baby boo tupendaneko, nikipanda tupendaneko usiniache nikishuka tupendaneko bora hizi mbegu zetu tupandeko’. I don’t think even the hustlers and sufferers will be remembering this after the year ends.

Fimbo ya Tatu-Dawa Ya Moto Ni Moto

Such a long a title for a song that features most of the Grandpa Label artists and then throws in Wyre and Sauti Sol and KenRazy. The problem with grouping so many artists on a joke of a song like this is that the many average ones will pull down the best ones. The hook is so repetitive the only memorable thing about the song is the irritating horn sounds, the refrain Dawa ya Moto ni Moto and the line ‘Kama ni chapatti tushawakalia’. Yet like I said, it became a hit.

Welle Welle Remix

‘Temperature is pandaing, I’m welle welle when am teremukaing’ is the line that did it for me with this song. DNA’s deep vocals (n a bit interesting lines), the animated video are the only interesting thing about the song and not enough to save it from being average. Still, hardly a day goes by before I hear it.

Shake yo Bam Bam

Hehehe, even amongst Sauti Sol’s repertoire of songs this one did get undeserved attention. It is not even better than the follow up single Isabella yet I hardly hear Isabella yet somehow it became branded as a club banger. It is the one song which the song writing skills of the band came up short literally as the lyrics stop somewhere halfway through the song. But for the dancing and the hype that followed it this would be a real flop. Yet it sneaks in a-la Julius Njogu to the finishing line as one of the biggest tunes of the year. SMH

Sometime back, Fred Omondi of Hapa Kule News was robbed at gunpoint by armed gunmen who stole his electronics. Ugandan singer was arrested after police found him in possession Fred Omondi’s stolen valuables.

Wycliffe Wamala popularly known as Ambassada has been battling to prove his innocence ever since he was apprehended by the cops possessing a stolen iPad belonging to Fred Omondi.

The Ugandan born singer claimed he bought the iPad from a Whatsapp group but his plea wasn’t enough to stop the police from locking him in a Rongai Police Station.

That was way back in February. The court hadn’t concluded his case since the prosecution hadn’t garnered enough evidence to charge him.

It’s as a result of this that the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) withdrew the charges against the Ugandan.

A warrant of arrest had initially been issued against Ambassada for failure to honor court summons.

I am sure most of you have listened to that Hero Radio clip where a woman in Nakuru confesses to sleeping with fresh dead bodies in order to maintain her wealth. Rose confesses to sleeping with dead bodies for the last three years and has no intentions of stopping the appalling act despite her husband threatening to leave her.

The clip has caught the country by storm and today we do a list of other viral phone calls that Kenyans are yet to forget .

To start us off:

1. Nicole and Muturi

So, Nicole invites Muturi for a booty call at 9, but Muturi is not up for a roll in the hay so he makes up excuses, he claims that he is exhausted and has an early morning. Nicole attempts to cajole Muturi and even goes to extreme measures to get Muturi’s ‘transformer’. She offers him specially cooked meat, even offers to pay for his taxi and throws compliments about how well-hung Muturi is. To be honest I’ve never heard a woman beg that hard for sex and I’ve never heard a man refuse it so hard.

Listen to the hilarious clip below:

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2. Busted Snake

This call was nothing short of terrifying. So a man called up Ciku after he found a snake in his house then on Valentine’s Day, a strange man came over to his matrimonial home. Then the strange man went to his bedroom in the company of his wife leaving him in the living room only to overhear them engaging in sex. The strange thing is he could do nothing,it was like he was under some sort of spell and all he could do was just sit helplessly during the whole ordeal.

Since he couldn’t explain what cut, he took off and  then when he came back, he met the strange man on his way out of his house, that’s when he confronted his lady .And the lady convinced him that he was hallucinating, and there was no one in the house.

When Ciku called her up to find out what was going on, one of the most terrifying conversations went down , a conversation you can listen to below:

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3. Caroline Mutoko and Mike Sonko

Back in 2013, Sonko called up Mike Sonko to ask him if his ‘development strategy’ of dishing out money to the needy was sustainable. The call got heated after Carol prodded him further asking him whether any plans to empower his people in order to prepare them for the future; for when he is gone.

The question is what broke the camel’s back and that’s when Sonko said “I think you are either under the influence of something or working for someone, you are manner-less you also smoke cigarettes all the time!”

Carol’s attempt to stop the train from crashing by going back to the topic at hand was futile. And her sarcastic laughter after Sonko got all wound up further agitated the already irked senator who went on to ask Carol ‘You how many people f**k you?’

Adding that ‘Wewe kwenda! Wewe mjinga kumbaff!I am going to deal with you and Chipukeezy” I will deal with your personally!Wewe nyege zako na sigara zako peleka huko carnivore !” before the line went dead.

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 Check out the other bizzare phone call next :

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4.Ciku Muiruri and the Devil Worshiper

Ciku was on her usual ‘busting’ business, but the hunter soon became the hunted when she went head-on with a devil-worshipper named ‘Scoli’. Ciku played the role of a pastor by the name Wanjiru and called to find out if one of her caller’s fiancée ( Scoli) is a devil worshiper after he had heard rumors about it .

Here’s an excerpt from the conversation;

Ciku: Am calling you because I had a dream yesterday.

Scoli: A dream?

Ciku: Yes. In this dream I was told there’s something wrong with your soul. And I am the one who is supposed to provide answers for this darkness that you find yourself in.

(Silence)

Ciku: So I have called you to say that I want to pray for your soul and everything and anything that you need from me I’ll provide so that you can steer away from that darkness.

Skoli: Let’s start here, what are these evil that you have seen in your dream?

Skoli: Did this dream of yours show you what I’ve done to people like you?

(Long silence)

Ciku: People… People like me?

Scoli: Cos you think you’re the first person to call me? You think you’re the first person to dream about me? Let me tell you, I work for bigger things. Do you still want to pray for me or pray with me? Do you want me to tell you where you are right now? And how much I know about where you are right now Pastor Wanjiru? Did you think I also did not get information about your call today? Aren’t you in Westlands? Yeah, I can even feel you shaking in your shoes…black shoes!(Ciku was actually in black shoes ) Aren’t they? Okay pastor your dream told you it will be very easy to pray for me or pray with me?

Ciku: Don’t you seek salvation my child? Don’t you seek salvation?

Scoli: Am happy where I am. With what I do and the people i do it with… I was warned about you.

Ciku: You were warned me about me by who ?

Scoli:That does not matter, your dream is the one that told you everything that you think you know.

Ciku: Do you worship the devil?

Scoli: Do you want to join me if i do.What do you seek from the knowledge of me and from the one I serve?

Ciku:I seek salvation for you

Scoli: You seek salvation?As who?

Ciku: As pastor Wanjiru, as the person on the right side of this war between evil and good.

Scoli: We are not at war.

Ciku: When you take innocent lives are we not at war?

Scoli: When I do what you think I do, I do it for a reason. You give me a reason.

Ciku: Are you saying you kill people who interfere with whatever your plan is?

Scoli: I do what I need to do…

Listen to the rest of the conversation below;

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Yesterday Bro Ocholla almost conquered the whole of the internet the way the legendary medieval general Hannibal almost conquered Rome. The guy accidentally sent a dirty message to a prayer group on Whatsapp instead of sending it to a girl whose identity remains debatable.

Let’s be honest here and admit we’ve all sent a text that we prayed didn’t make it. But despite cursing your phone or computer screen like Sossion in front of TV cameras, your message was still delivered. There are some clever ways to survive this tragic event but Bro Ocholla’s troubleshooting strategies left little to be desired

The guy came out to defend himself saying the message was meant for his wife. Funny thing is that his wife has also backed up his story. However, I smell crap in this whole issue. The message was:

“You seem to love my voice. This voice will whisper asking how you are feeling when you will be having your orgasms at cloud 9”

Uuuum…hold up right there Bro Ocholla. You are an idiot. Yes the guy is an idiot. Here’s why

He’s lying to us

There’s no way that message was meant for his wife largely due to the part where he writes, “You seem to love my voice.”. That sounds like a statement you would only tell a girl that you have met recently not a woman that you’ve known for a long time. That’s a statement you say when you have been promised ‘vitu’ by a random chic. How can his wife ‘seem’ to love his voice? She has already heard it several times. Either she loves it or she doesn’t She can’t ‘seem’ to love it. No no Bro Ocholla. Acha izo.

I think the wife only backed up this claim in order to take the matter of the public domain and solve it domestically. She’s a sensible wife who doesn’t deserve a cheat like Ocholla.

He doesn’t know how to get out of a tricky situation

His immediate response was ‘Wrong message….poleni.”I think that was the reason someone decided to even expose him in the first place. Such a weak way to defend yourself

First we need to accept that unless scientists start mass producing actual time machines, you can’t go back to the future to change your embarrassing Whatsapp message. You can only hope to recover some integrity. Ocholla didn’t even know how to do that

He should have come up with a better response like ‘Imagine a certain lady just sent me that message. Yet she knows I am married. The temptations in this world are real. Let’s pray for her dear brethren.’. Perfect.

He’s careless

Bro Ocholla is quite careless. He obviously got too carried away in the bliss of sex chatting. Usually such horrific accidents are made due to urgency, frustration or super excitement. It’s a quick trigger reaction when you need emotions are killing you. Only armatures make such mistakes. Such are the men who get caught easily. If you are going to play, then play smart. This game isn’t for the careless. People get killed for this kind of stuff.

He’s a Jack of all trades but a master of none

Or better yet, he’s an ‘Ocholla’ of all trades but an expert in neither of them. Pick a struggle bro. You can’t be writing Mills and Boon kind of erotica on Whatsapp while talking about The Holy Ghost at the same time. Both require utmost dedication.

His mistaris are weak

Speaking of ‘cloud 9’,that sounds like something a high school kid would write about in a love letter full of grammatical mistakes. Cloud 9? Really? More so, the guy really hyped his voice you would think he was last year’s winner of ‘The Voice’ or ‘American Idol.’ I listened to his voice while he was explaining himself and it just sounds like that of any other jatelo out there. There’s nothing really unique about it. But maybe I don’t know better. Still, I think there are more intense things to talk about with a woman than ‘Cloud 9’ and voices.

The idea that a venerated judge, a judge of sound mind and mettle like Ian Mbugua would show up to judge the biggest butt is in itself very disconcerting and a shame to all elderly self respecting men! Don’t get it twisted guys. Butt is good. I love it humongous. 

 Over the weekend Judge Ian was in Kisumu where he was the presiding judge, charged (with a couple other young guys) with coming up with the lady who had the biggest, most awe-inspiring, sexiest butt to walk down the ramp. Now, I am made to understand that the venerated Judge works who has won many with Tusker Project Fame also doubles also works at Brookhouse as a music teacher and has a son who is in campus. 

I have not put myself up on a pedestal as a moral god, but the idea that Judge Ian would reduce himself to sitting and judging the biggest butt in Kisumu is shameful and bad for his image. He should have kept his head up and turned down the offer and walked away fast when he still had time to.  Judging the woman with the most inspiring behind should have been left to younger, vivacious and  glamorous guys not a music teacher. Of course we can argue that he might have been there in the capacity of a fashion critic, but we all know that Judge Ian is not exactly the most fashionable man we’ve ever seen. 

This was the idea: 

Below is the king sarcasm, Ian Mbugua with the crowned winner and other photos from the contest. 

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 Photos courtesy|club da place Kisumu

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday, we quickly deviated from Bro Ocholla Shenanigans after a recording arose of a woman who is  reportedly, a necrophiliac . A necrophiliac is by definition a person who finds pleasure in having sexual relations with dead people. 

 Now the lady in question was called by hero radio after her husband got wind of her weird fetish. In an confession, the husband revealed that he was scared out of his wits and had even resorted to walking out of their marriage. 

The lady on the other hand stuck to her ground and revealed chilling details of how she visits a mortuary every weeks for a ritual that involves having sex with fresh dead bodies. An accomplice undertaker gives her access to the cadavers for an agreed fee of 5,000 per week. 

So why sleep with dead people? 

The lady narrated to Hero radio that she did it in order to get wealthy and was happy with it as she was now able to live off comfortably with her then husband who did not have a stable job. She however turned down any offers of professional or divine help citing that she was fine with getting the money at whatever means. 

But something does not add up, why would the husband TED resort to calling Hero radio (which is neither a church nor a psychiatrist clinic?)  instead of seeking divine intervention?  Why would rose (an alleged necrophiliac) talk so casually about her vice? Don’t you think she would have hanged up within the minute rather than offer a chilling insight into her fetish?

Such cases are not totally un-heard of but calling Hero Radio  and airing the audio seems staged. But that is just me. I could be wrong. 

For a long time, the beautiful Wema Sepetu had an off-on-relationship with Bongo Star Diamond Platnumz.

That was before they broke up and Diamond hooked up with Zari Hassan with whom they have a beautiful daughter named Latiffah.

Since then Wema has been linked with a few men, most notably Ommy Dimpoz. But it seems that the Miss Tanzania turned politician has found the right man for her and we couldn’t be happier.

Wema as spotted looking very cozy and in love with former BBA contestant Louis from Namibia .Check out photos of the cute couple below:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mariah Carey is extremely talented, but an extreme diva and here spectacular diva moments are quite unforgettable.

As it turns out, diva moments are not reserved for Hollywood A-listers but also some of our local musicians. So yesterday, Frasha and Rap Damu were scheduled to launch their ‘Kuthibu’ video and also perform the song at Tribeka and the crowd was really psyched up for the performance. I mean this is Frasha, so people were expecting the performance of a lifetime.

 

So when Frasha got on stage, the excitement in the club was palpable as everyone was anticipating the performance but alas! things did not go as expected.

This is because he refused to perform but ordered the DJ to run the video, and then exited the stage in a huff, leaving Rap Damu stranded and completely confused.

Rap Damu was left wondering what happened as Frasha exited the stage and went HOME! Some of the fans present expressed their disgust at the behavior by wondering out loud why he even bothered to show up if he didn’t intend to perform. Others called his behaviour ‘madharau’

Luckily, Timmy of the ‘Welle Welle’ fame saved the day and brought the house down with an amazing performance that the crowd soon forgot that Frasha had left them high and dry.

After the performance, DJ Crossfade (one of the most underrated DJs of our time) did what he does best; he rocked the revelers with some amazing mixes.

Top Trending Images In Nairobi This Morning

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The number of the filthy rich Kenyans who have invested on this TV program tells you it’s going to be dope. It’s only a matter of days before we get to sample it anyway.

The much talked about Kenyan version of ‘Shark Tank’ is about to hit the screens days from now. Everything is set for Boiler Room to go on air.

The show will feature a panel of multi-millionaires who will be looking to invest in people with innovative ideas.

Billionaire Chris Kirubi, multimillionaire Steve Mbogo (was ranked wealthiest young East African by Forbes in 2014), Baringo Senator, Gideon Moi, Presidential hopeful, Peter Kenneth, businessman Farouk Sheik and many other heavyweight have invested in Boiler Room.

It’s still not clear whether the named persons will be part of the panel. But we are sure the beautiful ex GBS anchor, Grace Mutango, will be hosting Boiler Room which will be airing on Ebru TV.

See photos of the millionaires and the first guests who will grace Boiler Room in the photo gallery below;

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Bro Ocholla became an overnight celebrity after members of his church cell leaked some sexy messages he accidentally sent to their prayer group.

While his fellow members were busy congratulating one of their fellow members for their wedding anniversary, Bro Ocholla sent this enticing text “You seem to love my voice. This voice will whisper asking how you are feeling when you will be having your orgasms at cloud nine.”

Well, Kiss 100 reached out to Mrs. Ocholla to hear her side of the story and she stood by husband saying that the message was meant for her.

She however blamed the media for blowing the issue out of proportion.

“It happened last week, it’s not something new” she said before adding “I am just surprised media is out there to break people houses. I am just surprised. I am not happy with what has transpired but we are very fine.”

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Sometime back, my colleague the Sheriff highlighted STL’s rather dampening drop from the Ultimate Kenyan Queen of Hip Hop and Pop to being just another Kenyan artist.

Well it appears that the artist could be on her way back to the international podiums she used to grace like a lioness patrolling her hunting grounds. Stella Mwangi has been invited to the Oslo World Music Festival.

The only difference this time with her previous visits at such stages is that she will be talking not singing. The singer will be giving a speech on the topic of Belonging. We can only hope such familiar ground reignites whatever used to make her give world topping hits.

 

 

Over the weekend, Namba Nane’s foremost rapper, Kayvoh Kforce (of course not Octo), dropped his latest single ‘Stay Alive.

On Tuesday, night, he officially launched the video yesterday at Tribeka in an event organized by Mseto East Africa. The rapper known more for his hard hitting punchlines and mellow flow proved he is just as adept on the stage.

He brought the house down with his electric performance alongside other artists who were slated for a performance. Tribeka has become a scene of several albums and single launches thanks to the Tuesday event that is usually set together by Willy M Tuva. Here are the photos of the Kforce performing.

While the country is still obsessed with the sexually explicit Whatsapp message Bro Ocholla mistakenly sent on Embakasi Prayercell, another brother in Christ from Nakuru County sodomized 15 boys.

What’s happening with men of God? A Sunday school teacher with Mugo Wa Wazimu-like character escaped death after police saved him from an angry mob baying for his blood.

The 35-year-old who teaches Sunday school at P.C.E.A Elburgon was allegedly sodomizing young boys who he taught.

The kids say the teacher would invite them to his house and give them drinks believed to have been laced with drugs, after which he would sodomize them and then tell them not to say a word of it less they wanted him to bewitch or kill them.

The psychopath preyed on young boys aged 8 to 13. Parents discovered his evil act and wanted to lynch him but their quest was interrupted by police who took the Sunday school teacher to Elburgon Police Station.

Below are photos of the devilish Bro Ocholla from Elburgon;

I can’t believe ‎Bro Ocholla‬’s unfortunate gaffe is still up for discussion on social media. A man slips then the nation feasts on his misfortune, as if we haven’t heard other bizarre cases involves brothers in Christ. Anyhow I hear Tanzanian election is turning out to be ‘everybody is a winner’. A Presidential hopeful in Zanzibar already declared himself the winner even before the votes were counted, whereas Chadema’s Lowassa has already panicked and the final results aren’t out yet. Hope they don’t go the Kenyan way 2007/2008. Brushing of Tanzanian politics, below are the hottest stories this Wednesday morning:

#1Meet the Tahidi High Actor Who Is Now an Inooro TV News Anchor (Photos)

#2My Husband Is Hotter Than Yours’ Julie Gichuru And Smriti Vidyarthi Celebrate Their Husbands (Photos)

#3Finally The Face Of Brother Ocholla Has Been Unveiled (photo)

#4Larry Madowo Robbed In His Hotel Room In London (Photo)

#5Langata’s Legal Drinking Den Seeks Peace With Babu Owino After The SoNU Chairman Fired Warning Shots Following The Brutal Attack Of UoN Students (Warning Graphic Photos)

#6Team Mafisi Praising Broocholla And Other hilarious Memes From The Trend: #BroOcholla

#7The 5 Main Losers With Inooro Tv Launch and The Pending Launch Of Other Vernacular Stations (I Feel For Number 4)

#8Love Is In The Air; Has Comedian David The Student Secretly Engaged This Beauty? (Photos)

#9Did You Know Kenya’s Sauciest Sexologist Getrude Mungai Is A Mother To Two Grown Boys? Meet Her Family (Photos)

#10Popular Radio Presenter Openly Thirsts On Social Media. These Are The Two Men Who Make Her Melt.

 

Leading lifestyle and wellness center, Revitalize Wellness Center over the weekend held a fundraiser in support of breast cancer survivors.

 

During the fundraiser themed Pink Party, Revitalize Wellness Center donated Sh1million to Faraja Cancer Support Trust for their medical fund. The funds will be used to support underprivileged cancer survivors to access decent treatment. 

 

Speaking at the event, RWC Managing Director Susan Rodrigues said, “It was great seeing customers come in huge numbers to support the cause. We believe in giving back to the society and supporting the needy in the society.” Mrs. Rodrigues said that RWC donated 15% of all profits raised through special Pink Spa and Salon Packages during the month of October to Faraja Cancer Center.

 

 

The Revatalize Team giving a cheque they had donated to Faraja Cancer Center

 

 “Furthermore, we donated 25% of all proceeds from the Pink Party Day,” she said. On her part, Faraja Cancer Support Trust Founder Trustee, Shaira Adamali lauded the initiative. “We are happy that the donation will go towards paying medical fees for cancer survivors under our care.” Ms Adamali said. 

 

 

 

At the moment, Faraja has supported over 500 survivors with medical assistance. Faraja Cancer Support Trust (Faraja) was founded in 2010. It’s mission is to provide emotional, practical and physical support to anyone affected by cancer in Kenya. The cancer care center also aims to raise cancer awareness throughout the country, where cancer is still seen as a death sentence. Since its inception, Faraja has provided a safe haven and given hope to thousands of adults and children who are living with cancer.

Every day, a musical star is born and there is this Kenyatta University band that is taking the gospel industry by storm and with the right guidance this band could explode into super-stardom.

To Him Entirely (T.H.E Band )was formed in Kenyatta University back in December 2013. Majority of the students that formed the first legion of the band were initially members of a campus movement called the Journey.

Ghafla sat down with Kevin Motema, the Band Director to learn more about the band.“We served together in school. “He starts. “After a semester’s load of ministry work, we opted to have a getaway mission to trinity Chapel Mombasa as part of our way of unwinding after the busy semester. After the mission and holiday, I threw the idea of forming a band since us guys were always literally together and everyone liked the idea. Since then we have been together doing ministry together. We have been involved in missions in Nairobi Mombasa and South Sudan.”

Kevin Motema

Since its inception, the band has led worship in a couple of churches in Nairobi including their cover church, Mamlaka Hill Chape, and Trinity Chapel Mombasa. You might have also spotted the band performing at the Trinity Chapel Ruiru, Karura Chapel, Deliverance church Kahawa Sukari, Life Pool Chapel, A.I.C Jericho, A.I.C Ziwani among others.

Aside from performing in churches the band is in the process of writing a couple of songs, some of which have already been performed at some of the previously held concerts. To make their music dream possible, the band intends on holding a concert that aims at raising money towards their recording.

The concert will be held at Mamlaka Hill Chapel, on the 17th of November from 3-5 p.m, a concert where they hope to dedicate and commission their band.

See you there, I have been to one of their concerts and I guarantee, it’s the performance of a lifetime.